Tag Archives: reflection

Independence Day

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It’s July 4th. That is Independence Day in America. Freedom from Great Britain in 1776. Most people didn’t get freedom that day but that isn’t what this post is about.

How free are you? Truly. What shackles are holding you back from being the person God meant you to be? Are you free to be the best version of yourself?

Freedom isn’t just about political independence or the absence of physical chains. It’s also about mental, emotional, and spiritual liberation. Think about the limitations you’ve internalized. Are there fears or doubts that keep you from pursuing your passions? Do you feel confined by others’ expectations, or trapped in a routine that doesn’t fulfill you?

True freedom means breaking those chains. It’s about having the courage to follow your heart, to live authentically, and to strive for personal growth. It’s about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and believing in your capacity for change and improvement. It’s about embracing your unique journey and the person you are becoming.

So, on this day of independence, reflect on your own journey to freedom. Identify what holds you back and take the first steps toward liberation. Surround yourself with people who support your growth, seek opportunities that align with your true self, and remember that freedom is a state of mind as much as a state of being.

As you celebrate today, think about how you can make every day a celebration of your own independence and growth. Break free from the shackles within and step boldly into the life you are meant to live.

Focus on your strengths

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“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I asked God to do this for me as I was working through and trying to find peace. I focus so heavy on fixing my weaknesses and wanting to be better. If I can work on those then I will be better. That isn’t true though and it wasn’t what God wanted me to do. When I asked him to point out anything in me that offends him.
He said: why do you keep trying to improve on the model that I made?

It’s a fair question and one I hadn’t considered before. If I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Why do I need to fix myself?  There isn’t anything wrong with me. God gave me this verse and it makes a lot of sense.

You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭17‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I like it. From this point forward I’m going to work on building my strengths instead of fixing my weaknesses. As I build on my strengths my weaknesses will have no choice but to get better. Plus focusing on strengths lead with compassion and I don’t always do that with myself. If God can find nothing wrong with me who am I to tell him he’s wrong.

List 3 things you do well. How can you build on those strengths?

Prayer: Father as we work to get better, help us change our mindset. Continue to renew our minds as we fight not to believe the devils lies. Remind us we were made in your image and you make no mistakes. You work everything out for our good because we believe in you. Thank you for clarity and new perspectives. In Jesus name. Amen.

Inspiration

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Hi friends,

Its been awhile. You’ve probably are wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. I told yall I got a new job back in July. It kind of took over my life. I been working for this promotion for so long when I got it I immediately went into overdrive. It was a busy time.

I got what I prayed for and I put God on the back burner. I had not planned on doing that, it just happened. I still read my bible and I still did my morning devotion but it wasn’t the same. I was more going through the motions.

I stopped going to my caregroup because I was working so late, I stopped getting up to do my devotional and writing in the morning because either I was tired from staying up late from working or staying up late just because I didn’t want to go to bed.

In doing all these things I didn’t feel inspired. I stopped being plugged into the power source. A few minutes reading my bible and writing out my prayers isnt enough to plug into the power source.

What inspires me?

Sermons I hear inspire me, but my church has been doing church online for almost 2 years now and its not the same, not an excuse but its not helping. It’s easier to not be engaged when you are not in person. I also don’t have the same sense of urgency because if I miss it on Sunday I can go back and watch it anytime, or so I would say.
Podcast I listen to inspire me too. However sometimes I just want to be entertained no message necessary.

Why haven’t I been listening to anything inspirational?

I think listening to inspirational stuff reminded me of what I wasn’t doing. As I am writing this I realize that feeling I was feeling wasn’t coming from God. He doesn’t condemn us, he convicts and there is certainly a difference.

As always he is slowly pulling me back in. I have been going to care group again and bible study. I needed it. I also haven’t taken on too much. That has been lingering in the back of mind. I don’t want to be stressed like I was last year around this time. I was starting to feel like I needed to slow down but I didn’t do it and it eventually blew up in my face.

November is National Novel Writing Month and I am going to be working on my book. It’s not a fictional novel but its a book so I am going to try and apply the same principles. At the very least it will give me some accountability.

Writing this book is something that I have been wanting to do for a while. I also know that writing is not always about feeling inspired, its also about consistency. I don’t know where the blog going land as I figure this out. I appreciate you sticking beside me.

Wish me luck,

Dominique

Confession: I don’t know

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This post was originally published on March 14, 2018. As I was looking for something for Throwback Thursday, I saw that this exactly describes how I feel right now. I definitely feel like everything God has had me learn over the past year I am being tested on right now. It feels scary but that is a good thing because if I am being tested, then he thinks I’m ready for the next step.

Not knowing things is not something I’m comfortable with. I like to have a clear plan outlined with action steps. Things don’t always happen that way in a growing season. You only can do some much planting and then you have to sit back and let it grow.

I’m in a growing season right now and growing hurts. The term growing pains is definitely real. It hurts to be stretched more than you thought you could handle. It hurts to let things go that you thought would always be there.

Growing requires more faith than planting. I believe that because you don’t know how the seeds you planted are going to develop. You can’t see on the the outside how the seed is doing or if any growth is happening. You have to trust the process.

I don’t feel like I have been in a real season of growth in my life in a long time. I have had seasons of change but nothing to this extreme. I feel like I’m going through a metamorphosis. I feel like God is working on me about a lot of things. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much. Why do I have to go through all of this?

I feel like everything in my life is in transition and I am questioning a lot of things that I thought I knew for certain. I thought I was on a solid career path but where I see myself headed is different that what I originally envisioned. I am afraid. Am I ready for where God is leading me? I don’t know. I do take comfort in knowing that he won’t leave me on this journey and will give me what I need to be successful.

God is working on me to take me someplace but I don’t know where that is. I have to just walk beside him one step at a time. I am not going to run out in front of him or move to fast. I have done that before and the results were not great. I know I sound sad or down but I’m not. I’m restless. I sense something coming but I don’t know what is. I’m going to continue to keep the junk out so I can hear Gods voice and know it’s him. I’m going to pray and I’m going to wait. I’m going to continue to do meet God half way and I know he will make up the rest. I will have to just continue to be patient and trust the process.

Until next time,

Dominique

Unlearning

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One thing I’ve picked up during this odd year of 2020 is unlearning.

What have you had to unlearn? For me it’s been a lot. I used some of these thought processes for protection to make sure I wouldn’t get hurt. Im learning to be more vulnerable, to trust more, and I realize I don’t need to think this way anymore.

1. Everything is not what it seems. Sometimes our perceptions are wrong. We are making decisions based on limited knowledge, our bias, our feelings. All those things could potentially not be right. Keeping this in the back of my mind has helped me look at things from all angles before making a decision.

2. Everything is not black or white or even gray. I was very much a person who thought things were one way or not. No shade but, it is what it is. In the this world of COVID-19 I’ve learned things are not always one way or another. There could be a third option that I never even considered.

Voting Michelle Obama GIF by Joe Biden
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3. Everyone doesn’t have to move at the same pace. I used to think I was behind everybody in spiritual knowledge, in having kids, fancy careers. However I have to remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. God put me in this place. It’s not a race. I’m not competing with anyone, not even myself. There are no timelines or schedules because God’s timing is always perfect.

4. What works for you, may not work for me. This is another small thing but changing my thinking has been huge. The first thing that made me think of this is the natural hair movement. You can watch tons of tutorials and it still not turn out right. Follow someone’s regimen to the letter and still not get the changes you were expecting. What worked for them may not work for me. That can be applied to just about anything in life.

5. People aren’t judging me. People aren’t looking at me. Or even thinking about me. Folks are more concerned about themselves than they are with what I’m doing, wearing etc. Letting this go allows me to live more free.

Giphy.com

6. Its never too late. For anything. Ever. The older you get the more people start to tell you your too old for this or that. Not true. It’s never too late. If your good, it’s going to come through in what you do. You want to make a career switch? Do it! You want to move out of state? Do it! Nothing is holding you back but you.

These lessons have been huge. They may seem like simple changes but they represent gigantic changes in mindset. As we get to the last quarter of the year think about how you might need to change your mindset. Its never too late.

Birthday reflections

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Rainbows are a sign of Gods promises. He put up the first one after he flooded the Earth and saved Noah and his family.

on my drive to work

My birthday was Sunday and it also reminds me of Gods promises. I got pregnant around my birthday two years. On this day as I’m writing this (9/10) I was told I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on my own. So every year since then it all comes back and reminds me that God is a promise keeper. He does what he says he will do. He doesn’t lie or change his mind. I know that in theory but its nice to have a reminder.

My birthday has always been a big deal to me even from when I was a little kid. Its at the tail end of summer so it could be blazing hot, last year it was 90 degrees! Or it could be cool and chilly. It has always signified new beginnings for me, even more so than the beginning of the year.

real housewives birthday GIF by Slice
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I remember my 33 birthday that was supposed to be my Jesus year and that didn’t happen. Last year was just survival mode in learning how to be a new mom. 35 though…will this be my year?

I dont want to say so and it isn’t but this year feels different. I think the biggest change is consistency. I have been exercising 5 days a week consistently since August 3.

Cbs Love GIF by LoveIslandUSA
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I have been going to noon day bible study on Wednesday at church since May.

I’ve been doing the work to make lifestyle changes that I can sustain. Sustainability is key. I used to start off super hard but I couldn’t maintain that momentum.

I used to worry about what I could do to keep the momentum going. I was so worried about the something disturbing the joy I was feeling that I wasn’t enjoying it.

Not anymore. I am making sure to take each day one at a time and that has helped tremendously. I am learning how to stop my negative thoughts in its tracks. I am exploring new things and becoming open to new ideas and thought processes. I am learning how to be 100% me, 100% of the time.

I set that goal in December but I didn’t start working on it really until we were forced to stay in the house. The last six months have been a lot of work but I have definitely reaped the benefits.

Keep that same energy

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I just got back from vacation and it was amazing. My husband knows how to show me a good time. It was exactly what we needed after having a rough winter. I love to travel, going places doing things, just being out of my house and doing something new. Research shows that it’s easier to get through your days if you are planning a vacation or have something to look forward to. Why is that? Shouldn’t we have joy in our day to day?

Keep that same energy is Teyana Taylor new album title. I haven’t listened to it but the title really got me thinking. How do you do that? Once you get back from vacation why is there such a plateau, such a crash? It literally has a name…post vacation blues. When you are on vacation there is such a high and when you get back home its like, uh, let me get back to the grind. I want to break that cycle.

When I got home I didn’t get all sad, like man my vacation is over. Instead I’m making the best of my time here. I’m taking that just go with the flow vacation vibe and carrying that into my work week. I dont want to be down and just waiting to leave again. I want to enjoy my time in my home and in my city, just like I do on vacation.

I want to keep that same energy. I want to be carefree and let the stress roll of my back.

How am I am going to do that?

1. Be here now- when I am vacation I’m not on my phone. I am just enjoying each moment. I will continue that philosophy when I am home, limiting my time on social media and group chats. This way I am in control of what I take in.

2. Quiet time- when I am on vacation I dont have to rush through my devotional. I really get good one on one time with God. It is harder to not rush my devotional at home but it can be done, I just have to be more intentional with my time.

3. Be active- if you can believe it, even though I did a lot of laying around on vacation I actually exercised every day too. Definitely not something I do at home nor will I necessarily be able to duplicate but I can get close. Being active puts me in a better mood than laying around. Instead of getting off work and trying to catch up on shows or social media and I am going to try to do some physical activity.

4. Try new things- best thing about vacation is trying stuff you wouldn’t normally do at home. That can be anything, new food, drinks or experiences. Why can’t we do that at home? I am lucky that I live in a city that I can find all kinds of new things. So once a month I am going to try and find something or someplace I have never been before.

I know none of these things are super hard but it is the small things that make vacation great. If I bring all the small things I like about vacation into my every day life then I can bring a little bit of vacation back with me.

Steps to refuel when you are running on empty

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Read this post to see what led me to running on empty.

  1. Pray-I know this seems like an obvious solution but I really took some time to pour out my heart to God concerning how I felt. It wasn’t a quick 15 minute devotional. I wanted him to know exactly how I felt and even though he already knew, writing it down and getting it out, I did feel better.
  2. Listened to different sermons-I listened to different sermons about what to do when your cup is empty or you feel like you are running on E. John Gray, TD Jakes, and Rick Warren to name a few.
  3. I did things that I like to do-I read books, hung out with my friends.
  4. I changed my thought process-I read a lot about how God loves me and has a plan for me. I know these things to be true, but when you feel like God is withholding something from you, you don’t always see that love. Reading those verses really renewed my spirit.
  5. I got myself off my mind-I have been volunteering in the food pantry and at the day care at church.

I feel much better. I am so thankful that I had time to really unplug from everyone and plug into God. I decided to run towards him. He is truly a God of comfort. I appreciate that. I hope that I won;t get back in this spot again. I am also debating about a therapist. I have even called a few but none seem to be working out. I don’t really want to see a therapist but I don’t know if I have tools to take myself to the next level. I’m working on it. Only time will truly tell.

Confession: I didn’t take my own advice

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Backsliding can be more subtle than I thought. I originally wrote about backsliding a while back and talked about not getting down on yourself when you do it. The post also mentioned recognizing your triggers so you will be less tempted. It all makes sense. However what if you are moving so slowly back you don’t even notice at first? I foolishly equated backsliding to a one time act, things that are easy to recognize and fix. Unfortunately this is not always the case, other types of backsliding are more subtle.

This article talks about four different types of backsliding.

I knew that something was wrong but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. That’s what made me research condemnation vs. conviction. I thought maybe the devil was messing with my head. I thought maybe I was not pleasing God in some way. So I asked him what did he want me to do. God told me all I needed to do was love him with all my heart, all my soul and all my mind. I had all this information but still something wasn’t right.

i-cant-quite-put-my-finger-on-what-is-missing-5c993

In the background of all this, work was crazy, I was not sleeping through the night and quality time with my husband was suffering.

I went back and read my journal entries to try and see what was wrong. Where did the subtle shift start happening? Way back in February. Pretty much when Lent started. This 40 day’s has definitely been rough.

I didn’t realize all these little separate events were pulling me away from God because I was still more or less doing my normal routine. My husband called it to my attention that backsliding was happening. My spirit knew something was happening but flesh just couldn’t get it together.

Why? I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have it all together. I didn’t want to admit, I was encouraging others but couldn’t encourage myself. I thought I was over some hurts but I’m clearly not. Calling something by name makes it real and means you have to deal with it. Proverbs  30:15-16 says four things on Earth will always be unsatisfied and one of those is a barren woman.

Now I strongly believe that God will bless us with a baby of our own. I do. I don’t know when though. That is hard and all the things I chosen to distract myself with aren’t working. They work for a little while but when is always in the back of my mind.

I got tired off doing good because I didn’t see the reward. I didn’t want to admit it because I know I am not supposed to feel that way.

brink of victory

Unfortunately this is where I’m at. I don’t feel like I am on the brink of victory. I can’t stay in this space. What do I do? What do you do if this is where you are?

I wrote this a few weeks ago and thankfully I did come up with a few solutions. I will post that tomorrow. I didn’t want this post to get to long.

Explore

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via Daily Prompt: Explore

Explore-travel in or through (an unfamiliar country or area) in order to learn about or familiarize oneself with it.

I was talking to a friend today. We haven’t talked in a while so of course we went through all the catching up stuff. I typically kind of freeze up at this point because I don’t have anything “new” to report. I give the typical answers of, I’m good, just living life. This time, I gave a different response. I said, I am making internal changes. Nothing that may be seen on outside but on the inside its huge.  I am exploring myself, searching out new possibilities and it feels good. I wouldn’t normally tell someone that because there is no tangible evidence for this kind of expedition. The results of my exploring only matter to me and that is ok. It is not about anyone else.

I am on spring break this week. It has been great. Nobody else I know is off this week  and the weather has been pretty icky  so it has been a great week for reflection and exploration. I have really been able to talk to God and listen to what he has to say. I was getting close to a burn out. March was a pretty rough month. God is always on time though. This break came at the perfect time. These three days were just what I needed to recharge my batteries. I will explore more this month about being intentional, what to do when you are feeling burned out and how to respond when it feels like the “wicked” are winning. National Infertility Awareness week is this month and I will talk about that a bit as well.

I am excited to move into a new month and new season. The first quarter of the year is over but there is always time to get things done that we want to accomplish. I am looking forward to what the next three months will bring.