Self control

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22‭-‬23 NLT

The word I am focusing on this week is self control. As we are getting close to holiday season it made sense for me to focus on self control. The biggest area I need to focus on is my mouth, not just what I put into it but what comes out of it. The delicious food is going to be tempting me as well as the conversations that are being had. Being around family can make self control difficult, sometimes being around the people we love can get under our skin and make us eat or say things we would not normally eat or say.

How is your self control? I am not really an impulsive person so I didn’t think I had a self control issue. As I am trying to eat healthy and truly make a lifestyle change I noticed my self control needs some work. Portion control for me is a definitely a problem. Now I am going to give myself a little slack on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I will feel better about that slack though if I tighten up my eating habits on a regular basis. I certainly don’t follow the national guidelines.

Healthy Eating Plate

I heap food on my plate and almost always go back for seconds unless its something healthy. I thoroughly enjoy the taste of food and have a hard time telling myself no when it comes to food. They don’t call it comfort food for no reason. I spend more money on food then I do on most things. I am not sure why that is. It’s like a little crack and once I open up the floodgates I can’t stop.

fried chicken eating GIF

Self control with my mouth isn’t much better. Having to always be right is a problem as well as getting the last word. I have gotten better but it is still a problem. Why do I have to be right all the time? I honestly don’t know. It is so hard to hear somebody make a blanket statement and not respond to it. Like, all men do (insert whatever stereotype you want) and it makes me so mad. Or hear someone say something I don’t agree with in general. Or when someone says something I know is not right. Do I have to correct them? What do I get out of these debates? Nothing. What difference does it make what they think? In the grand scheme of things, none. I am probably not going to change their minds and it’s only going to make me upset.

Basketball Wives Bbw GIF by VH1

Oddly enough, controlling what comes out of my mouth is easier for me than what goes into it. I am only trying to engage in conversations that help me grow, make me think differently, and change my thought process. I need to have this same thought process about food. Its hard though because food is SO good. If I want to be the best version of myself, I know I need to work on it. My next goal is consistent exercise. We’ll work on that in 2021, lol.

Eat to live or live to eat

One of my good friends always tells me to eat to live not live to eat. I never was a fan of that saying because I love food. She says that all things you eat are not meant to taste good, you eat them for the nutritional value. This goes against everything I believe in. There are so many. delicious foods out there, why wouldn’t I want to eat them?


I’ve been thinking about it more however and it is a sign maturity and self control and self discipline to eat to live instead of living to eat.

Maturity because you recognize you can’t just eat whatever you want, when you want.

Self control because even though I want to stop and get a burger and fries, I don’t do it.

Self discipline because I exercise self control and maturity.

She also told me to think about my relationship with food.

food is bae

When I am feeling good I eat. Reward myself with food, feeling bad go pick up something tasty. The most money I spend on anything other than travel is food. I love to read and I don’t spend money on books like I do on food. I never paid attention before but now that I do it’s a little crazy. I checked this week after I started this post to see how much money I spend on food. Over $150 for the month of August! This was just for my self mostly, except on one occasion. So not only  are my habits hurting my body but they are hurting my pockets. I am proud to say that I have only eaten out one time so far this month and when I did it was a healthy option.

I need to look at my triggers and find something else to use when celebrating or when I need a pick me up.

As I get older, my body is just not responding to my terrible habits the way it before. I am working on it though. I know I was supposed to be getting myself together before the summer started but alas that didn’t really happen. My birthday is coming though so its the perfect time to get back in the groove.

(gifs from

Keep that same energy

I just got back from vacation and it was amazing. My husband knows how to show me a good time. It was exactly what we needed after having a rough winter. I love to travel, going places doing things, just being out of my house and doing something new. Research shows that it’s easier to get through your days if you are planning a vacation or have something to look forward to. Why is that? Shouldn’t we have joy in our day to day?

Keep that same energy is Teyana Taylor new album title. I haven’t listened to it but the title really got me thinking. How do you do that? Once you get back from vacation why is there such a plateau, such a crash? It literally has a name…post vacation blues. When you are on vacation there is such a high and when you get back home its like, uh, let me get back to the grind. I want to break that cycle.

When I got home I didn’t get all sad, like man my vacation is over. Instead I’m making the best of my time here. I’m taking that just go with the flow vacation vibe and carrying that into my work week. I dont want to be down and just waiting to leave again. I want to enjoy my time in my home and in my city, just like I do on vacation.

I want to keep that same energy. I want to be carefree and let the stress roll of my back.

How am I am going to do that?

1. Be here now- when I am vacation I’m not on my phone. I am just enjoying each moment. I will continue that philosophy when I am home, limiting my time on social media and group chats. This way I am in control of what I take in.

2. Quiet time- when I am on vacation I dont have to rush through my devotional. I really get good one on one time with God. It is harder to not rush my devotional at home but it can be done, I just have to be more intentional with my time.

3. Be active- if you can believe it, even though I did a lot of laying around on vacation I actually exercised every day too. Definitely not something I do at home nor will I necessarily be able to duplicate but I can get close. Being active puts me in a better mood than laying around. Instead of getting off work and trying to catch up on shows or social media and I am going to try to do some physical activity.

4. Try new things- best thing about vacation is trying stuff you wouldn’t normally do at home. That can be anything, new food, drinks or experiences. Why can’t we do that at home? I am lucky that I live in a city that I can find all kinds of new things. So once a month I am going to try and find something or someplace I have never been before.

I know none of these things are super hard but it is the small things that make vacation great. If I bring all the small things I like about vacation into my every day life then I can bring a little bit of vacation back with me.

Feeding my body garbage

I was feeding my soul with the word, while I was feeding my body with garbage.
I wrote a post a while back about feeding your soul. I am blessed that I have never had a weight problem. I basically eat what I want and only fluctuate between 5-10 lbs of my ideal weight. I didn’t think I ate that bad. I don’t eat a lot sweets, I love juice but I don’t drink it often anymore, I don’t eat bread really, not a lot of dairy, most of the bad habits people have I don’t have. I also don’t eat a lot of vegetables and I only exercise from end of April/May to at the latest Thanksgiving. I do enough to get in a two piece for my annual anniversary trip and cute summer outfits once summer is over I’m about done.

I have not been treating my body as my temple. I have good genes, no more no less. I thought because I looked ok on the outside I was ok on the inside. Duh! I should know bmmmbetter. I haven’t been to a primary care doctor in years. My mom finally made suggested (made) me go. Her doctor is a young black woman. I never had a black doctor before. She did my blood work and it was discovered I have pre-diabetes. How?! She tells me to limit sweets and complex carbs and I’m like I don’t eat sweets. Lol. I do eat carbs though. I LOVE pasta, rice, potatoes, noodles, white bread (toast), biscuits. I used to have a starch in all my meals as well as meats. I am known for my limited food options. I bragged for years about being a meatatarian. Foolish. I’m disappointed in myself because this isn’t hereditary, I caused it myself. I’ve been eating like a college student for years but I’m not in college anymore. I have no excuses, especially because my husband takes special care with his diet and works out All the time.


I wrote the above words on April 7. I was pretty much in shock at this diagnosis. I didn’t really do any research though and I hadn’t told anyone. When I finally got out of my funk and I told my mom about it, I felt a lot better. She told that when they test your blood sugar levels it is only checked for the last 3 months. Well that makes a lot sense. I know I was eating terrible at the beginning of the year. This was a wake up call for me for sure. I have never really paid much attention to what I was eating or how I was living because I know I wasn’t doing bad things. That isn’t good enough. God tells us to take care of our temple.


As I have gotten older, I realize how important it is to pay attention to what I am taking in figuratively and literally. I do not want to pass down bad habits to my children. I am glad I found out this information. I thank God that this is something that is reversible. I know I need to exercise on a more consistent basis, not just when its warm outside. I am getting myself together. It was just such a shock to my system. I wish I could learn lessons the easy way. I don’t seem to be one of those people though. I have to learn everything the hard way. I will keep you guys updated on my progress. Overhauling my diet will not be easy but it is certainly necessary.

Do you like vegetables? Do you eat organic? How would you rate your healthy habits? Leave your recipes for no carb dinners in the comments. I could use all the help I can get.