10 things I’ve learned since becoming a mother

1. Empathy- no one helps. People literally watch you struggle. I never noticed this before. Being a mom has shown me how to express feelings outside of myself and better understand other people’s emotions.

2. Patience- with myself, family, friends, the baby, its crazy. Patience was a big lesson I needed to learn. If I would have become a mother earlier in my life I wouldn’t have gained this skill set. Listening to babies cry or throw their bottle at you, patience is what you need.

3. Dont compare- to my old self, to my husband, to other moms, nobody. I thought the biggest comparison would be to other moms but I was definitely wrong on that. More on this in another post.

4. Be humble. Motherhood is nothing like I expected. I didnt have a ton of expectations but what I thought I knew I definitely was wrong. You can’t find all the answers on Google. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and judge what you would do when it isn’t your kid but having a kid of your own changes things.

5. I can do more on less sleep than I thought. So little sleep. Its insane. I used to love taking a nap but now I just do without. Nap when the baby naps is really a lie. Lol

6. It’s ok to say I dont know what I’m doing or admit I messed up. Once I started talking to people about my feelings I realised I wasn’t the only person going through that or thought that way. Moms are expected to have all the answers and that’s just not the case. Lots of things are intuitive but not everything and it was nice to admit that.

7. I have to be intentional about my self care. Writing, alone time, spending time with my friends, all of it has to be intentional or it won’t happen. I hate to admit but I’m better about spending time with my friends than with myself sometimes.

8. Water truly does a body good. I have heard this but I never tested it out myself until I was pregnant and after. The rumours are true. I had to drink it when I was pregnant and the results were great. I’m trying to get back to that space.

9. I will receive tons of unsolicited advice and opinions. I most often bite my tongue. Ive gotten much better about this than when he was first born. People are just trying to help. Their intentions are good. More on this in another post.

10. Everything has changed. I am ok with that. I have been trying so hard to be the person I was before but that girl is gone. A new better person is emerging.

I am stronger than I think I am.

My son just turned one. The hardest thing to put into practice is the self care. Its so easy to put yourself on the back burner when you have a kid.

I can expand on just about everything on this list. So much of this can be unpacked. I will in the upcoming months.

Eat to live or live to eat

One of my good friends always tells me to eat to live not live to eat. I never was a fan of that saying because I love food. She says that all things you eat are not meant to taste good, you eat them for the nutritional value. This goes against everything I believe in. There are so many. delicious foods out there, why wouldn’t I want to eat them?

     

I’ve been thinking about it more however and it is a sign maturity and self control and self discipline to eat to live instead of living to eat.

Maturity because you recognize you can’t just eat whatever you want, when you want.

Self control because even though I want to stop and get a burger and fries, I don’t do it.

Self discipline because I exercise self control and maturity.

She also told me to think about my relationship with food.

food is bae

When I am feeling good I eat. Reward myself with food, feeling bad go pick up something tasty. The most money I spend on anything other than travel is food. I love to read and I don’t spend money on books like I do on food. I never paid attention before but now that I do it’s a little crazy. I checked this week after I started this post to see how much money I spend on food. Over $150 for the month of August! This was just for my self mostly, except on one occasion. So not only  are my habits hurting my body but they are hurting my pockets. I am proud to say that I have only eaten out one time so far this month and when I did it was a healthy option.

I need to look at my triggers and find something else to use when celebrating or when I need a pick me up.

As I get older, my body is just not responding to my terrible habits the way it before. I am working on it though. I know I was supposed to be getting myself together before the summer started but alas that didn’t really happen. My birthday is coming though so its the perfect time to get back in the groove.

(gifs from giphy.com)

Healthy lifestyle

This is healthy living thing is not as easy as it looks. It doesn’t look easy but I know a lot of people that do it so I figured it can’t be too difficult. Wrong! I talk a lot about spiritual growth and being I intentional. I make it my business to do my devotional every day, read my bible before bed, pray, etc. I have to have that same intensity for my physical health lifestyle change.

I was eating my breakfast burrito and thinking I had made a fairly healthy choice and my friend was like, that’s not really healthy Dom and it’s kinda of lazy. Sheesh! I wasnt ready for that but she was right. She gave me some good ideas for meal prep and some books and things I could check out. Her pointing out the laziness in my process really made me stop and think. I was doing the same thing and expecting different results. I have been walking 8000 steps or more every day or other and I have cut back on my carbs but that’s what I always do around this time of year. I need to be intentional. I need to incorporate this into my daily life not as something that’s an after thought. I approach my spiritual growth very seriously. I read books and podcasts, I study. I haven’t done much I this process. I certainly haven’t done anything differently. I’m on a fake yoyo diet. I dont want to continue going up and down. I need to make a lifestyle change which is going to be harder than I initially thought.

I need to make a real life schedule just like I do for everything else. To walk 4 miles it takes at least an hour and once I start riding my bike it will take even longer. Exercising takes away from me wanting to write. Not good. So the smart thing to do would be to work out on the days I don’t have a blog to post. But the days I don’t post I’m usually doing a church activity, bible study, Food pantry, etc.

I heard the other day that you can have it all just not at the same time. Do you think that’s true? I want it all I want to be super healthy in mind,body, and soul, involved in church, awesome blogger/writer and still have time to hang with my husband, family, and friends. How do you do it? What should I do? Right now the struggle is real.