Tag Archives: growth

November: The Fruit of the Spirit — Who Are You Becoming?

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November is here, and this month we’re going to talk about the Fruit of the Spirit!

When I started planning this series about six months ago, I knew I wanted to do something a little different for November. This is typically the time of year when we focus on gratitude, thankfulness, and giving. And while all those things are important, I wanted us to think about something else, too.

What are we putting out into the world? How are we showing up? And who are we becoming?

Especially with the midterm elections coming up here in America, I think it’s a good time to reflect on how we treat one another, even when we disagree.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about what it really means to follow Jesus. One question that keeps coming up is: Are you trying to be like them, or are you trying to be like Jesus?

Because those are two very different things!

Jesus teaches us to forgive, turn the other cheek, love our enemies, and extend grace. And while that sounds wonderful in theory, putting it into practice can be challenging.

I’m not a particularly petty person, but I’ll admit that always being the bigger person isn’t easy. Sometimes you want to respond with the same energy someone gives you. Sometimes you want to prove your point. And sometimes you know you’re right, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re handling the situation correctly.

I’ve had to confront that in my own life recently.

I’ve had conversations where I had to admit that my ego played a role in how I handled a situation. I’ve had to apologize, take responsibility, and recognize that even when someone else contributed to a disagreement, I still had a responsibility for my own behavior.

That has taught me a lot about practicing what I preach.

It’s one thing to say you go to church, read your Bible, pray, and follow Jesus. It’s another thing entirely when someone is yelling at you, pointing fingers, or challenging you, and you have to decide how you’re going to respond.

Are you going to react like everyone else, or are you going to respond in a way that reflects Jesus?

That’s where the Fruit of the Spirit comes in.

Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV) identifies nine characteristics: love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

These aren’t simply personality traits that some people naturally have and others don’t. They’re characteristics that the Holy Spirit develops in us as we grow in our relationship with God.

We’re called to cultivate all of them, not just the ones that come naturally.

Some may be easier for us than others. You might be a naturally joyful person but struggle with patience. You might be kind but have difficulty exercising self-control. Or you might be faithful but struggle to respond gently when someone pushes your buttons.

That’s part of growing and maturing spiritually.

Throughout November, we’ll explore what these characteristics actually look like in everyday life. We’ll talk about peace, joy, gentleness, and what it means to have strength under control. We’ll also discuss gratitude as we move through this season of thanksgiving.

But more than anything, I want this series to be practical.

I don’t want us to simply know what the Fruit of the Spirit is. I want us to think about how we demonstrate it in our homes, workplaces, relationships, and communities.

Spiritual growth isn’t just about what we know. It’s about how we live.

So as we begin this month, I want you to consider one question:

If someone looked at the way you treated others this past week, what fruit would they see?

Stay tuned. We’re going to grow together this month!

January 28

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I actually wrote the post March 29 on Jan 28. It was 60 days in the future. I was prophesying over my own life. Putting in the atmosphere to myself and God how I wanted to feel and here we are almost 6 months later and it’s working. There have been hard times in there but I’m handling them better. I’m becoming stronger, more resilient, more open. We are about to get into the summer season and that’s usually where I get off track but I’m still getting things done. I’m having fun, as you are reading this post I’m at the beach but now I can do both. I’m not letting anything distract me and I am seeing the fruit of my labor. Im proud of me and excited to see what the second half of the year brings.

Until next time,

Dominique

Easter Reflections

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This time of year can feel strange.

Easter reminds us of resurrection and new life, yet many of us quietly feel stuck—tired, restless, or dulled by routines we once prayed for. It’s easy to get used to our blessings. Familiarity settles in. Gratitude fades. And without realizing it, joy and peace feel harder to access.

The disciples knew that feeling.

They didn’t expect to lose Jesus the way they did. What they thought was secure was suddenly gone. Grief, confusion, and fear took over. And yet, what felt like loss became the doorway to something deeper. They didn’t just get Jesus back; they encountered Him in a new way.

Easter reminds us that what feels lost isn’t always gone forever. Joy can be recovered. Peace can be restored. Perspective can be renewed—often by remembering all that God has already done.

It’s possible to be surrounded by answers to prayer and still feel unsettled.

Not because something is wrong—but because time, pressure, and familiarity have a way of shifting our perspective.

What once felt sacred can quietly become assumed.

And without realizing it, we move from gratitude to restlessness.

Questions help us notice when that shift happens.

Have the goalposts moved without us naming it?

Have circumstances started to define whether what we prayed for is still “good”?

Have we mistaken the weight of responsibility for dissatisfaction?

Sometimes the ache we feel isn’t a signal to want more.

It’s an invitation to return.

Not to a moment, but to a posture.

To the trust we had when we asked.

To the gratitude we felt before outcomes were visible.

The way forward may not require something new.

It may simply ask us to pause, remember, and re-align our hearts with the God who already came through.

This might be the moment to pause, remember, and let gratitude lead again.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Until next time,

Dominique

Making people uncomfortable

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HaileyPaigeMagee who is basically my IG therapist (LOL) is putting out great content about breaking people pleasing. One thing she said was

In order to break the people-pleasing pattern, we must learn how to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including:

  • The discomfort of others being unhappy with us
  • The discomfort of letting others handle their own problems instead of rushing in to fix them
  • The discomfort of having difficult, honest conversations about our needs and boundaries

The discomfort that comes when we realize that others’ happiness isn’t our responsibility, but our own happiness is.

This was revoluntary for me because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone but realizing that adults could be disappointed and that was ok ,was big for me. That they would still like me, that they wouldn’t stop talking to me was big. I still struggle with this one, but I have gotten much better.

I still struggle with the discomfort of having difficult conversations, I don’t want to make people feel bad.I also don’t want to give negative feedback but sometimes people don’t realize how they are coming across and since they asked we should tell them.

I had to realize what was mine to hold and what I had to let go of.

Its interesting that I was more worried about disappointing other people than I was in disappointing myself.

Hailey says to recognize if you are people pleasing, do your insides match your outsides? Do you feel happy or do you feel anxious and resentful? I would take it a step further and ask how did you feel when it was over, do you feel warm and fuzzy or are you now going over all the things you said in your head. That probably isn’t the place you should be.

Until next time,

Dominique

Independence Day

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It’s July 4th. That is Independence Day in America. Freedom from Great Britain in 1776. Most people didn’t get freedom that day but that isn’t what this post is about.

How free are you? Truly. What shackles are holding you back from being the person God meant you to be? Are you free to be the best version of yourself?

Freedom isn’t just about political independence or the absence of physical chains. It’s also about mental, emotional, and spiritual liberation. Think about the limitations you’ve internalized. Are there fears or doubts that keep you from pursuing your passions? Do you feel confined by others’ expectations, or trapped in a routine that doesn’t fulfill you?

True freedom means breaking those chains. It’s about having the courage to follow your heart, to live authentically, and to strive for personal growth. It’s about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and believing in your capacity for change and improvement. It’s about embracing your unique journey and the person you are becoming.

So, on this day of independence, reflect on your own journey to freedom. Identify what holds you back and take the first steps toward liberation. Surround yourself with people who support your growth, seek opportunities that align with your true self, and remember that freedom is a state of mind as much as a state of being.

As you celebrate today, think about how you can make every day a celebration of your own independence and growth. Break free from the shackles within and step boldly into the life you are meant to live.

I’m back

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Hello! This has been a long time coming. So much life has happened since I made my last post 10 months ago. It’s like I had a new birth of myself. One version of me had to die for this new version to be birthed.

I went back and looked at some of my old posts and they were dark. The interesting thing is that I don’t remember what was bothering me last September or what that was referencing. I was still on maternity leave but who knows.

Going from 1-2 kids was a huge transition. Shout out to all the moms cause whew this is hard work! I used to want three. Yea right! I don’t know how we would have managed that.

I’ve been working on some of the things we talked about, self care and positive self talk, perfectionism and over thinking.

I’ve discovered new things I’m interested in like minimalism. More on that later. I’ve been fine tuning my writing and listening to the LORD’s promptings. I read 100 books last year. Only 12 were non fiction so I’m trying to increase it that number this year.

I’m trying to be more vulnerable and I’m learning that it actually works when you do it.

I’m working on showing myself more compassion and realizing that I can’t solve everyone’s problems.

Im working on the mom wife balance. I don’t want to just be a good mom but a good wife too. We’ll get more into some marriage stuff later on as well.

Writing/blogging has always been on my heart and I’ve missed it but I had to get back to it in my own time in my own way.

I’m excited for what the second half of the year is going to bring and what I will share with you. Come check me out when you have some time.

Until next time,
Dominique

What I’ve been busy doing when I’m not writing. My family. Jesse, LJ, and James.

36

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Its my birthday! Well it was my birthday. My birthday is 9/13 so it’s been a few weeks. Turning 36 is not really exciting. I don’t get a Jesus year like I did at 33. 35 feels like woah! I’m really grown. 36 just feels like another year. It hasn’t been though. 35 was a crazy year and even though it was so challenging everything I learned was preparing me for this year.

Gods timing is always better than ours. It sucks when your in the moment but looking back I see his hand in every lesson I learned.

I’ve had many blessings to kick off this year of life. I renewed my vows in Jamaica, I got a promotion at work, my husband bought me a new car for my birthday, my brother and I will be going into business together. These are all good things. I wouldn’t be prepared to do any of them if I hadn’t started really doing the growth work that I needed to in 2020.

As reflect back on 35 it doesn’t look like what I thought it would. I was still trying to be in control of much of what happened that year and so much of it was out of my hands.

As I move into 36, I ask God to help me accept (sooner,lol) the things I don’t have control over. Be ready to embrace change and be ready to pivot when necessary. At work we talk all the time about the ability to pivot. No problem doing it there but in my personal life I like things to go according to my plan. God’s plan is ultimately best, no matter how we feel. No matter if we don’t understand. He wants to bless us beyond what we can ask for. That often requires pushing us into uncomfortable territory.

I’m praying that in 36 that I don’t shy away from the uncomfortable. That I stretch myself and take more risks. Being vulnerable, asking for help, admitting when wrong, trying new things… all these things are risky. Following God’s plan when you don’t know the next step is risky. I am going to remind myself that God always has my back and best interest in mind even when it hurts.

I’m excited to see where this year takes me. It has already started off pretty interesting.

See you in October,

Dominique

5 things I’ve learned being married 10 years

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My 10 year wedding anniversary was in May and I renewed my vows back in June.

People always talk about being able to grow with your partner that is what sustains a long term relationship and I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I think being with someone long term is more about being comfortable with how your partner grows and being able to pivot if need be. My husband and I have been together for 17 years. A lot about a person can change in that amount of time. Things you used to think were cute or funny now get on your nerves.

Here are 5 things I learned in being married for 10 years

1.You have to be willing to grow at different paces. I can recall when I felt like my spiritual walk was stronger than my husbands and that was really hard. I wanted him to be the spiritual head of our household and he wasn’t. I also hadn’t laid out that expectation for him, I just assumed he knew to take on that role.

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http://www.iscriblr.com/we-all-grow-at-different-rates-and-thats-ok/

2. Managing expectations. This is a big one. People always expect themselves out of other people and that isn’t always the case. From what I’ve seen its rarely the case. Your spouse can not read your mind. Are you expecting you things out of your spouse that you haven’t mentioned to them?

Managing Expectations – is it ever too late to do so? | BRS

3. Be supportive. Are your spouses greatest cheerleader? When my husband decides that he wants to start eating healthier its much better for me to get on board with him then just let him eat healthy by himself. When I was more newly married I would sneak and have a burger and fries before he got home from work. He wanted to have salad and baked chicken and I wasn’t trying to have that. Binging in my car certainly wasn’t helping the cause.

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4. I’ve heard single people say that they hear is marriage is hard but nobody explains why. I think that marriage is hard for a few different reasons. The biggest one being that you have to constantly die to self. Marriage is about compromise and you are not always going to be able to get your way. Sometimes your marriage is hard for external factors that nothing to do with either of you. We had three hard things hit our marriage before we had even been married five years, my MIL was sick and passed away, my husband didn’t like his job and we couldn’t pregnant and there was no reason given as to why. The test of a long standing marriage is being able to get to the other side of these hard times. Are you willing to put in the work when times are tough? Can you be compassionate when your spouse is going through, even when it doesn’t have anything to do with you?

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5. Find other married friends. Our married friends have helped us so much. Its not even that they have said anything but just seeing their example has helped me a lot. Being inside of a marriage is different and while your single friends can certainly offer you advice, its nice to have a married person who may be able to potentially understand better what you are going through. My favorite are married moms. They are able to remind me that I am not doing as badly as I think. Is your friend group diverse? Are their people in a similar relationship space as you? Do you have people you can use as an example?

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Stay tuned I will give you another 5 tomorrow.

Until then,

Dominique

Confession: I don’t know

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This post was originally published on March 14, 2018. As I was looking for something for Throwback Thursday, I saw that this exactly describes how I feel right now. I definitely feel like everything God has had me learn over the past year I am being tested on right now. It feels scary but that is a good thing because if I am being tested, then he thinks I’m ready for the next step.

Not knowing things is not something I’m comfortable with. I like to have a clear plan outlined with action steps. Things don’t always happen that way in a growing season. You only can do some much planting and then you have to sit back and let it grow.

I’m in a growing season right now and growing hurts. The term growing pains is definitely real. It hurts to be stretched more than you thought you could handle. It hurts to let things go that you thought would always be there.

Growing requires more faith than planting. I believe that because you don’t know how the seeds you planted are going to develop. You can’t see on the the outside how the seed is doing or if any growth is happening. You have to trust the process.

I don’t feel like I have been in a real season of growth in my life in a long time. I have had seasons of change but nothing to this extreme. I feel like I’m going through a metamorphosis. I feel like God is working on me about a lot of things. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much. Why do I have to go through all of this?

I feel like everything in my life is in transition and I am questioning a lot of things that I thought I knew for certain. I thought I was on a solid career path but where I see myself headed is different that what I originally envisioned. I am afraid. Am I ready for where God is leading me? I don’t know. I do take comfort in knowing that he won’t leave me on this journey and will give me what I need to be successful.

God is working on me to take me someplace but I don’t know where that is. I have to just walk beside him one step at a time. I am not going to run out in front of him or move to fast. I have done that before and the results were not great. I know I sound sad or down but I’m not. I’m restless. I sense something coming but I don’t know what is. I’m going to continue to keep the junk out so I can hear Gods voice and know it’s him. I’m going to pray and I’m going to wait. I’m going to continue to do meet God half way and I know he will make up the rest. I will have to just continue to be patient and trust the process.

Until next time,

Dominique

Have you noticed?

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If you have been paying attention you would have noticed that I haven’t been doing my post on Fridays in quite a while. I used to feel very guilty about that. I don’t anymore. Times change and that isn’t a realistic goal right now. I still want to make sure I post every month. That’s not something I have accomplished yet in my years of blogging. We are almost half way through the year and I have continued to meet that goal so I feel good about that.

I have been focusing a lot on my mental health over the last year. It has been good. I have made a lot of strides. However as we have often talked about growth is not a straight line and it certainly doesn’t happen on our own time. Over the past few months, I feel like everything I have learned has been put to the test and I can’t say I necessarily passed each test with flying colors.

I will say that I have tried my best. I do recognize that I need to give myself grace. I need to have patience with my own process. Its hard though. My old perfectionist ways just refuse to die!

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I had a lot of mental health stuff I wanted to discuss in April but it didn’t really happen. That’s ok. May is mental health awareness month so I will do it now.

It was hard for me to talk about mental health when I know I was sometimes running to my old coping mechanisms. There is space for that though. April was a good reminder that I am not a constant self improvement project. I don’t have to keep striving to the next thing. I can sit in this space and be satisfied with where I am right now.

I am enough, just because, I don’t have to be producing anything, I can just be.

I just want to remind you that, while you are growing and evolving, take time to celebrate that you aren’t what you used to be. Remember that God put everything inside you of that you need to be the best version of you. You are just peeling back the layers so it can be released. You are just fertilizing the soil so the seed inside of you can blossom.

Until next time,

Dominique