Happy August! Summer is almost over. Have you enjoyed it? Did you do all the things you thought you would?
As summer is ending it makes me think about the intentions and goals I set for 2021. A few of them I messed up. One being I wanted to post every month of the year. I missed June though. Its ok. I don’t plan on missing anymore.
One of my words for 2021 was intentional. I have been doing a better job with that. I’ve been saying no to things, I’ve been focusing on what’s important. I’m creating more time for myself. I’m giving myself more grace. I’m reading this book called Self Compassion by Kristen Neff. It has some really good stuff in it. Very helpful.
Where are you in what you wanted to accomplish in 2021? Have you had to modify your goal?
2021 doesn’t look anything like I thought it would. Covid is acting up again, student loan debt isnt cancelled, housing market is out of control
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Galatians 6:9 ESV And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
As we enter into the later part of the year remember there is still time. Time to step it up, pivot or adjust if needed.
You are not accomplishing these things on your own. God is walking beside you cheering you on.
We have talked before about being intentional, about how we use our time, how we take care of ourselves, how we talk to our signifcant others. Intentionality is important. I set my phone on DO NOT DISTURB for the first time ever last Friday. I had never done that before. It was very freeing.
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While I was figuring out how to put my phone on do not distrub, I noticed how many notifications I get from different apps. I get 44 notifications a day from Google. 44! That is insane. McCaffe Security sends me 41 per day, about what, I have no idea.
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I didn’t even know that I could stop this. I never looked into, never even thought about.
I feel that’s how people go about their day. Just dealing with situations as they arise vs setting aside time to map out how they want their day to look. Are you living out of habit or intention?
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How do you start your day? Are you waking up everyday checking social media or the news? Are you asking God to lead you as you move through out the day? Are you praying or meditating?Are you eating breakfast? Drinking water?
I think a lot about balance and try to be intentional about the choices that I’m making but sometimes I don’t do it. Its harder to be intentional when you are tired, stressed, hungry or bored. What are your triggers? What keeps you making the best choices all the time? Identifying what keeps you from making good choices can help you in the long run.
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I like this list because if you try you can do these things despite your circumstances. If wake up everyday and decide that nothing is going to disturb your peace you are going to make decisions to ensure that your peace isn’t disturbed. You can do that with anything in your life.
Intentional living is letting God know that you are ready and available for what he needs you to do. Being intentional helps you grow and not be stagnant. It helps you stop for a moment and reflect on how and why things are happening.
Being intentional is waking up everyday and deciding to live on purpose. Not just letting life happen to you but you impacting your life.What choices are you making today that your future self will thank you for?
I do. I am. My week started off pretty rocky. It certainly started off rocky here in the United States. How did it start for you? You may have had some intentions that you were not quite able to stick with. I know I had planned on not getting on social media which I was doing fairly well with and then that exploded. lol. I saw several posts on people’s dry January plans had gone belly up or their fast on MSNBC was a wash.
It can suck to start something and so soon get off track but remember the good news. God’s mercies are new everyday. We can start over. I started today. I put timers on all my social media apps and I am replacing that with more writing and reading. I feel lighter.
So don’t get mad if you haven’t been able to attack your goals the way you wanted to. Start over. Its better to start again then get mad at yourself for messing up. I pray for my country, the United States and for you as well that we are all able to hit the reset button.
I have reached 200 posts! I am so excited. When I started this blog in 2017, I would have never thought I would reach 200 posts. I did. It was hard, scary, fun, nerve wrecking, I could go on and on but I loved it. Writing is something I always enjoyed since I was a kid but I didn’t know how I was going to pursue that as an adult. It was a dream, I put on a shelf. I am glad that I finally had the courage to pursue my dream and see where it could take me.
I have not had a year since this blog has been in existence that I have a post every month. I posted the second half of 2020. I only did a few posts in 2019 ( I was pregnant and had a baby). 2018 was my best year, 111 posts but I don’t think I posted every month. I don’t typically make resolutions but this year I will. Posting every month is a goal I am setting for myself this year.
I thank each and every one of you for your support. It makes me feel good that the words of my heart are able to impact so many people. People from all over the world read what I write and I am greatly honored by that.
I am excited to see where my writing will take me in 2021 especially because I am starting to take it more seriously.
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 NLT
I’ve always liked this rule. Its simple and straight to the point. Don’t treat people like garbage if you don’t want to be treated as such. Seems reasonable to me. However, as I have gotten older I realized that this concept is a little black and white. It is a good idea to treat people how you want to be treated however, it doesn’t really take into account how THEY want to be treated.
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For instance, my husband and I share a lot of similar personality traits however his love language is different than mine. I can’t approach him the way I would want to be approached in situations because he doesn’t respond to that.
When I was researching pictures to include in this post, I came across an article that talks about what I was just telling you. The man that wrote it is talking about it from a management angle but I believe that it works in all aspects of life. Do you take account peoples personalities when you have a disagreement with them? It doesn’t even have to be a disagreement, but just how you interact with people on a day to day basis.
I had a disagreement with a coworker…but it was really in my mind. If you asked them, they wouldn’t think we had a disagreement. They said some things to me I really didn’t like and I would never say those things to them. I was pretty upset about but I had to stop and think, what was their intention? Were their intentions good? They were. We don’t think the same and that is ok.
I had a friend that asked me for some constructive feedback and I wasn’t able to fully give it to her. I talked about how I don’t like constructive feedback because I am too hard on myself but that may not be the case for her. We all have blindspots and I could have been more helpful, but I was treating her how I like to be treated. I also didn’t want to hurt her feelings because mine would have been hurt if it was me, but this wasn’t about me.
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Finding the balance in how to treat people in a way that works for you and works for them is tricky but doable. Sometimes we get in caught up in our thought process and that is ok as long as your recognize it.
I believe the biggest thing to consider when trying to treat people how you want to be treated is remember compassion, empathy, respect and patience. Those things are universal.
The Golden Rule is a good place to start but its the baseline. If you start with this you will end up in a good space but if you take it a step further, you can probably have a solution that works for everybody.
We talked about being grateful earlier in the month and here is the big day to focus on what you are thankful for.
I challenge you to think of three things a day you are thankful for next month. We shouldn’t only focus on our thanks in November or on Thanksgiving but really all year round. I know things are hard as we are into our 8 month dealing with Covid here in the US. If you were like me, you never would have thought we would be going into the end of the year dealing with this with no end in sight.
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Too often we focus on what do not have, instead of all the things we do have. This Thanksgiving may not be like it was last year, but you are here to celebrate. That counts for something.
Three things I am thankful for today: 1. I still have a job
2. I was able to travel despite most things being shut down
3. No one in my immediate circle of family and friends have Covid.
If you haven’t noticed, I definitely haven’t been doing a post a day which, I knew I wasn’t going to do. I am a little behind and feeling the pressure. I have time though, so I am trying not to freak myself out. Its been a good process even if I have done as well as I thought I would. I have already learned some things which I take as a good sign.
I have to be incredibly intentional, which was really my main goal of this exercise.
I have to write even when I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel like writing more I thought, lol
The more I am hanging out, watching tv, listening to podcasts, things that have a spiritual bend, it also takes away my inspiration to write. I am on summer break because I work in a high school so I am only working part time. That should give me plenty of time to write. Definitely not! I am finding lots of non-productive ways to fill my off time.
I need to be more organized in my time.
Being perfect is not going to happen but I can still put forth 100% effort.
So stick with me. I am just going to continue to trudge along.
*Update
I will say it is getting easier. Post ideas are flowing. Writing is not feeling like a chore. I haven’t run out of things to say and I have only used a few prompts from the prompt list I made when I first started. I’m excited to see what the next two weeks look like.
Such a cliche right? I know but cliches are well known for a reason. It definitely fits my situation.
I have been pretty M.I.A most of the winter and spring. I usually hideout during the winter just because it’s cold and get over that post holiday hump but this year was different.
So many people had awesome things going on around me, new babies, new jobs, new houses and we didn’t have anything new happening. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing or surprising. We have been cruising in a good space for a while, we have found a good rhythm. Its hard to admit you are jealous or envious of your friends or family or coworkers. I don’t want to use the word envious or jealous because those are usually described as negative emotions. It’s more I’m happy for you and sad for me. Nobody wants that kind of energy at their birthday party, housewarming, BBQ, etc. I never want to be a Debbie Downee when I go somewhere so I just decided to stay away. That probably wasnt the best way to do it but hey we do what we know.
I know somebody who has had to watch other people around her have kids for years and she has been nothing but supportive. She is older than me so maybe it takes years to grow to that level of maturity. I admire that because I definitely couldn’t do it. I am not there yet but I’m working on it. God is making it more and more uncomfortable to be in this box. I haven’t been to a baby shower in years but now the people having babies are getting closer and closer to me. No choice but to go. I’m also trying to grow. I know I should be doing better, it is just hard.
The next time you haven’t heard from someone you care about in a while, reach out. I appreciate all the invites I got even though I wasn’t going.
The biggest reason now that’s holding me back from jumping back into the fray of where I used to hang out is because I don’t want to explain what I have been doing or why I wasn’t around.
That’s probably selfish of me. Would you feel like you wanted an explanation? Would you accept its not you, it’s me?
This weekend was the annual women’s retreat at my church. Even though I have been a member for over 10 years, this is the first one I have attended. I didn’t know what to expect and I was nervous about going. I went for a lot of reason but I didn’t really have any expectations. The theme for the weekend is Brave Vessel based on Proverbs 28:1.
As I sit here and try to explain all the things going through my head, I can’t. I may still be too close to it since we just ended this afternoon and we still have the sermon to go tomorrow. I know I am tired from the lock-in the night before. I am just in awe of how God spoke to me that I need some time to unpack everything that I experienced.
Do you do the right thing just because its the right thing? Is that a bad thing?
I have always tried to do the right thing because it was right even when I didn’t want to do it, sometimes to my own detriment. Interestingly enough I never want somebody to do something for me if they don’t want to do it. I feel intentions matter and if you’re heart isn’t in, don’t do it for me.
In Sunday school we talked about doing the right thing because it’s right and my friend said its like by building muscle memory. The more you do it the better you grow and develop that muscle. I hadn’t thought about it that way before. The more you do something the more you want to do it. Which makes good sense. Joyce Meyer says the mark of spiritual growth is sometimes doing things you don’t want to do. I appreciate that and I am working on it.
I remember when I first started going to Sunday school I didn’t want to go. I only went because the teacher asked me like three times to go. I went and I did enjoy it and I have been going since he invited me, almost 2 months ago.
That’s the thing with doing what’s right even when you don’t want to, God will change your desires to match his desires. If you are continuously doing something and you still don’t like it and it has been a few months, pray about it. Even though God is more concerned with our character than comfort, he doesn’t want us to be miserable. If you are not growing in a situation then it may be time to reevaluate.
I talked about doing the right thing even when you don’t want in my post WWJD. In that post it was more about doing the right thing when somebody is being reckless and you decide to be the bigger person. In the situation I’m referencing now, I am thinking more about going to church when you don’t feel like it, volunteering, going to baby shower/retirement party/social activity when you don’t want to, visiting your grandma, things like that. Sometimes it is good to push outside your comfort zone because things are usually worse in our heads than in real life. You may even get there, enjoy yourself and want to do it more often.
Always finding the silver lining 