Tag Archives: compassion

Recovering perfectionist

Posted on by

God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. Psalms 18:32 NLT

You, therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life], as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 AMP

You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]. Isaiah 26:3 AMP

Jesus answered him, “If you wish to be perfect [that is, have the spiritual maturity that accompanies godly character with no moral or ethical deficiencies], go and sell what you have and give [the money] to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me [becoming My disciple, believing and trusting in Me and walking the same path of life that I walk].” Matthew 19:21 AMP

This is four different ways that God looks at being perfect. None of them say never making mistakes, not giving yourself grace, procrastinating because if every thing isn’t just right you won’t do it.

Oprah Winfrey Relax GIF
giphy.com

It says make my way perfect which means guide me, show me, take the lead. It says integrating godly values into your day to day life. Are you integrating Godly values? The only perfection that God wants us to have is perfection in character. He want us to be spiritually mature. That doesn’t mean knowing all the answers or making everything just right. Being spiritually mature means you are leaning on God for support. It is recognizing he is in control. It is being humble and allowing him to guide your steps, not you making all the decisions.

show me GIF by John Legend
giphy.com

These are the things we should be striving towards. Being perfect is all about being in control, not asking for help, not showing weakness but God wants us to want him. He doesn’t expect us to do things on our own.

Perfectionism smacked me in the face this week. There is a reason that that people say God laughs at our plans. My perfectly laid plans just blew up in my face.

Season 9 Dwight GIF by The Office
My son when we decided to take Christmas pictures. giphy.com

I was trying to take family photos for Christmas and my son did not want to cooperate. At. All. I was so mad, all that work, I did for nothing. But in the long run does it matter? No. He is a toddler in the making. We will have opportunities to take pictures again. I was more concerned about what picture will we send out for Christmas cards and what will I put on my Facebook page

Perfection is definitely more worried about what others will think than what God will think. Worrying about the opinion of others will be our downfall every time.

The holidays can be a time were perfectionism rears its ugly head. There is a lot of pressure that comes with Christmas, perfectly clean houses, perfectly dressed children, perfect decor, table settings etc. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get it all done. Its not necessary.

I told my friend the other day, I am letting go of perfectionism. I am not taking it into 2021 because it doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t serve you either. All it does it make us more anxious and feel judged. I am over it! The only perfection I am striving for is humility.

Angry Over It GIF by Sisters
giphy.com

When perfection rears its ugly head, ask yourself these questions:

Is it necessary? Will this matter in the long run? Am I more worried about peoples opinions?

Revising The Golden Rule

Posted on by

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:12 NLT

I’ve always liked this rule. Its simple and straight to the point. Don’t treat people like garbage if you don’t want to be treated as such. Seems reasonable to me. However, as I have gotten older I realized that this concept is a little black and white. It is a good idea to treat people how you want to be treated however, it doesn’t really take into account how THEY want to be treated.

Tracee Ellis Ross What GIF by ABC Network
giphy.com

For instance, my husband and I share a lot of similar personality traits however his love language is different than mine. I can’t approach him the way I would want to be approached in situations because he doesn’t respond to that.

When I was researching pictures to include in this post, I came across an article that talks about what I was just telling you. The man that wrote it is talking about it from a management angle but I believe that it works in all aspects of life. Do you take account peoples personalities when you have a disagreement with them? It doesn’t even have to be a disagreement, but just how you interact with people on a day to day basis.

I had a disagreement with a coworker…but it was really in my mind. If you asked them, they wouldn’t think we had a disagreement. They said some things to me I really didn’t like and I would never say those things to them. I was pretty upset about but I had to stop and think, what was their intention? Were their intentions good? They were. We don’t think the same and that is ok.

I had a friend that asked me for some constructive feedback and I wasn’t able to fully give it to her. I talked about how I don’t like constructive feedback because I am too hard on myself but that may not be the case for her. We all have blindspots and I could have been more helpful, but I was treating her how I like to be treated. I also didn’t want to hurt her feelings because mine would have been hurt if it was me, but this wasn’t about me.

seth meyers lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers
giphy.com

Finding the balance in how to treat people in a way that works for you and works for them is tricky but doable. Sometimes we get in caught up in our thought process and that is ok as long as your recognize it.

I believe the biggest thing to consider when trying to treat people how you want to be treated is remember compassion, empathy, respect and patience. Those things are universal.

The Golden Rule is a good place to start but its the baseline. If you start with this you will end up in a good space but if you take it a step further, you can probably have a solution that works for everybody.