Tag Archives: Spiritual Growth

Recovering perfectionist

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God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. Psalms 18:32 NLT

You, therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life], as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 AMP

You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]. Isaiah 26:3 AMP

Jesus answered him, “If you wish to be perfect [that is, have the spiritual maturity that accompanies godly character with no moral or ethical deficiencies], go and sell what you have and give [the money] to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me [becoming My disciple, believing and trusting in Me and walking the same path of life that I walk].” Matthew 19:21 AMP

This is four different ways that God looks at being perfect. None of them say never making mistakes, not giving yourself grace, procrastinating because if every thing isn’t just right you won’t do it.

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It says make my way perfect which means guide me, show me, take the lead. It says integrating godly values into your day to day life. Are you integrating Godly values? The only perfection that God wants us to have is perfection in character. He want us to be spiritually mature. That doesn’t mean knowing all the answers or making everything just right. Being spiritually mature means you are leaning on God for support. It is recognizing he is in control. It is being humble and allowing him to guide your steps, not you making all the decisions.

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These are the things we should be striving towards. Being perfect is all about being in control, not asking for help, not showing weakness but God wants us to want him. He doesn’t expect us to do things on our own.

Perfectionism smacked me in the face this week. There is a reason that that people say God laughs at our plans. My perfectly laid plans just blew up in my face.

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My son when we decided to take Christmas pictures. giphy.com

I was trying to take family photos for Christmas and my son did not want to cooperate. At. All. I was so mad, all that work, I did for nothing. But in the long run does it matter? No. He is a toddler in the making. We will have opportunities to take pictures again. I was more concerned about what picture will we send out for Christmas cards and what will I put on my Facebook page

Perfection is definitely more worried about what others will think than what God will think. Worrying about the opinion of others will be our downfall every time.

The holidays can be a time were perfectionism rears its ugly head. There is a lot of pressure that comes with Christmas, perfectly clean houses, perfectly dressed children, perfect decor, table settings etc. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get it all done. Its not necessary.

I told my friend the other day, I am letting go of perfectionism. I am not taking it into 2021 because it doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t serve you either. All it does it make us more anxious and feel judged. I am over it! The only perfection I am striving for is humility.

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When perfection rears its ugly head, ask yourself these questions:

Is it necessary? Will this matter in the long run? Am I more worried about peoples opinions?

Beyond righteousness

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I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! Philippians 3:8‭-‬11

We are studying Philipians in the Wednesday noon bible study class I go to at church. This verse really spoke to me. I have been thinking about this concept for a while since I started my identity in Christ.

I spoke the other day about being truly Free. Being free is really about going deeper with God than just following the rules.

I used to focus a lot on following the rules. On making sure I was doing everything I was told to do. In some ways that is easier, you have a checklist to follow and you just do it. Relationship doesn’t necessarily play a role in that.

As I learned more about my identity in Christ, I realized its bigger than just following rules. Not just being blameless, but truly unlearning what I thought was right and really pursuing to know who God is and once I know truly who he is, I can better know who I am as well. I’m in a good space, but then I saw this verse and realized I still am missing something.

I am missing power. I know the power is there, waiting to be tapped into. I know God has great plans for me. He gave me the tools to do the things he called me to do. The bible says we have power and authority and victory. I’m not talking prosperity gospel stuff, but just genuine power to change the trajectory of our lives with Jesus help. If Christ was raised from the dead and we have the same power. Is there anything we can’t do?

When you look at things this way, I can do all things through Christ takes on a whole new meaning. Philippians 4:13

Joyce Meyer says that a lot of Christians will make it to heaven but they won’t have much fun on the way. The bible says that God wants us to live life to the full. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

The thief has stolen to much from me already. I never knew what I could really do, because I allowed him to take my past circumstances and use them against me, to limit what God could do because I didn’t realize the power I had.

Don’t let the thief take anything else from you. Tap in the power you have. Use it live life abundantly. If you are doing anything other than living life abundantly, you are short changing yourself and not receiving all God has for you.

How to live a blessed life

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I just finished a study on Psalm 119. Every week I will give you a lesson on what I learned from this psalm. King David wrote Psalm 119 over a long period of his life. I like King David because God once called him a man after his own heart. I want God to describe me in that way. I also like King David because he wasn’t perfect. We see him make some pretty big mistakes in his life but God still blessed him and his children. It sounds like a good example to follow to me.

God wants to bless us, not only with material blessings, but with peace and love and strength.

Psalm 119:1-16

1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
    who walk according to the law of the Lord.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
    and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
    but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
    that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
    in obeying your decrees!
6 Then I would not be put to shame
    when I consider all your commands.
7 I will praise you with an upright heart
    as I learn your righteous laws.
8 I will obey your decrees;
    do not utterly forsake me.9 How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.
12 Praise be to you, Lord;
    teach me your decrees.
13 With my lips I recount
    all the laws that come from your mouth.
14 I rejoice in following your statutes
    as one rejoices in great riches.
15 I meditate on your precepts
    and consider your ways.
16 I delight in your decrees;
    I will not neglect your word

What is a blessed life?

A happy, fulfilled, contented life. As you can see a blessed life doesn’t have anything to do with possessions, or job or where you live.

Characteristics of a blessed life

Maturing in my Christian walk

Knowing I can trust God

Remembering that everything happens for our good

God is always with me

I win, no matter what!

How to live a blessed life

Blameless, walk in the law

seek him with your whole heart

learn his righteous rules

praise with whole heart

Study his word

When we compare what is a blessed life vs what it takes to get a blessed life, it certainly seems more challenging. We should use this list to strive towards these things, its like our shoot for the starts, land on the moon scenario. If we are doing the best we can, we will achieve a blessed life. In our day to day pursuit of a blessed life, we are pointed towards God. We don’t have to do anything on our own, God is going to walk with us every step of the way.

You see living a blessed life doesn’t have as much to do with being a “good person” and more about your relationship with God. Reading this post could potentially lead to more questions. Don’t worry I got you.

You could be saying: Why do I have to praise him with my whole heart? How do I even do that? Come back. I will let you know.

Resources

Idol making

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The bible describes idolatry as the worship of an image or a created object.

Hair became my idol because I skipped my devotional to do it. Didn’t iron, almost was late to work. All to make sure my hair looked good. It was bigger than hair though. I was listening to Joyce Meyer the other day and she asked, Do you care more about your earthly clothes or your spiritual clothes? Does it take you longer to put on your earthly clothes then your spiritual clothes? I really had stop and think about that. My hair isn’t my idol anymore. We have come to an agreement. I still sometimes take too much time on my appearance and overall look before I walk out the door, rushing to make sure I’m not going to be late. I am getting better but some days it is still a struggle. I never am rushing out the door because my quiet time went too long. Even when my quiet time goes too long, somehow, I am never late for work. Thanks God!

What is your idol? What are you putting in front of your relationship with God? Is it sleep? Is it tv? Is it work? A relationship? Anything you put in front of God is an idol. I never really thought about that before. It’s startling when you get this conviction at first. I know I was shocked but when you start paying attention, it makes a lot of sense.

Don’t let anything become an idol. In the end nothing is as important as your relationship with God. He just wants to spend time with us. I talked about that in this post, Is God your friend? Anything can become an idol, especially when you aren’t paying attention. Stay diligent, the devil always wants you to get your eyes off God and on to yourself. Spending time with God is something you are going to have to be intentional about, just like spending time with your friends or your spouse.

A routine isn’t necessary, he just wants a some of your time. Take some time this week and pray to God to remove anything that is getting in the way of spending time with him.

For more information:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/08/17/what-does-idolatry-mean-a-biblical-definition-of-idolatry/

https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/idolatry/

SOAP bible study method

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Do you feel like you do enough bible study? I know I don’t. I have been trying to do 30 minutes a day 5-6 days a week. The struggle is definitely real. Its hard. There are so many methods out there. I am going to be trying a few of them out and letting you guys know how they work. The SOAP method is one I found on Pintrest a few years ago and I really like it. Its so simple, it can easily be done in 15 minutes. Its a great way to get some time in with God and it helps you dig deeper into the word. If you want to longer than 10-15 minutes you could do longer passages but when I first started out, I did one verse everyday. I wrote them down all in the same place, so when I when I needed that encouragement later it was handy.

SOAP-Bible-Study-Method

S: I do believe, help me overcome my belief! Mark 9:24

O: I do believe; I’m just scared it wont happen. I do believe, I just don’t want to be disappointed.

A: This verse is instruction. God is telling me to ask Jesus to help me with my unbelief. God made me a promise that I am waiting to be fulfilled and I believe but its hard. Jesus went through the same thing I am going through which is why he wants me to ask him for help.

P: Jesus please help me with my unbelief. I am trying so hard but I have wanted this baby for so long that I don’t think I can take another disappointment. Please help me pray without ceasing. You say ask and we shall receive. Please intercede on my behalf. I know you have been were I have and you didn’t let your circumstances change how you feel about your father. You were able to keep your faith. Please tell me what to do to be all more like you. I’m ready and willing to do whatever it takes. Thank you for being an intercessory for me. With you I know I can do all things because you give me strength. Thank you. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.

Meditation

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Meditation is combination of reviewing, repeating, thinking and analyzing. It’s a physical, intellectual and emotional activity, it involves our whole being.

For some reason people seem to have issues with mediation. I’m not sure why. Jesus mediated. We also are told over and over in the bible to meditate so I’m not sure what the big deal is. I guess when people think of meditating they think of someone sitting cross-legged, with incense lit, going hummmm…I’m not sure where this misconception comes from but it doesn’t have to be that way. I feel like meditation is just slowing down your mind and clearing out the junk to let God in.

One of my biggest problems is that I think to much, so mediating before I go to sleep helps me relax and I often wake up more refreshed when I do it. The most common way I meditate is to repeat a verse over and over depending on what was going on that day. Another thing I like to do is put on soft music while I do my devotional or journal. The music doesn’t have words typically. Its not jazz or classical but soft sounds or waves, things that will slow my thoughts down and allow me to drill down more into God, not into myself. I can block out what happened at work or what I saw on tv and just focus on what I’m trying to do. You know how sometimes when you are trying to pray and or read your bible and your mind keeps wandering to everywhere else than where its supposed to be? Listening to this soft music definitely helps. One album I like is Kim Clement Sweet Moments, another is Dreamy Vibes by Spotify. Meditation is way to add some spice to your prayer life and variety. God doesn’t care how you to spend time with him He just wants you to do it.

In doing research online these are some things that I saw about meditation. I do most of these activities on a regular basis but there are few that I would like to do more often such as memorizing verses. I have them written on notecards already but I fall short on the memorization side.

-read a verse over and over

-memorize all or part of it

-personalize it by putting it in first person

-write the verse on a notecard and memorize throughout the day

Do you have misconceptions about meditating? Think about what is stopping you. Meditating could vastly improve your prayer life, your sleep, your overall deposition. When you get a spare 10 minutes try it, I think you will like it.

I just discovered this Abide app through the YouVersion Bible App and I really like it. You have to pay for the longer meditation but I found them on Youtube for free! The guys voice is nice and relaxing and he asks insightful questions to really get you thinking about God, the verse and yourself. I am trying to incorporate these into my quiet time every week. Let me know if you try it.

Waiting, Part 2

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My foundation was weak. I never thought about that before. I was doing all these things to show God I was ready for a baby but my walk was weak. I was rooted in the world. I wasn’t rooted in God. I was worshiping the promise but not the promise giver. I had made having a baby my idol because I put it before God. I had put it before God and I didn’t realize it. What is on your mind constantly? Is it finding a man? Is it a new job or promotion? Making more money, buying a new house? Be careful you could be making that thing an idol.

Self-care-dino-Resize

That is when I started my journey of self care. It was definitely a challenge. Self examination is a long process. I had to learn how to be content in the mean time. I didn’t want to do that because to me that meant that I was happy not getting what I wanted. That isn’t what it means though. I had to learn how to approach life differently. Would I continue to be happy and sad every 30 days, ruled by my menstrual cycle or would I get over myself? My friend often reminds me, everybody is waiting for something. This is a challenge I still deal on with on a regular basis. Six people I know had babies in 2017. I already know 3 or more pregnant women in 2018 and its only February! None of those women are me. I really do not understand why, the only thing I can say is that its not yet. Just like the captured Israelites in Babylon, I have to be ok because I could be in this space for a while. Jeremiah 29:5-14.

My pastor says, God doesn’t waste a hurt. You go through things so that you can encourage others that are in your situation or in a similar situation. I know this is a story that God wanted me to tell others. I always thought that it would After I was pregnant and had overcome this that I would share.

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However I see now that isn’t the case. God wants people to see me as I go through, not on the other side. God wants me to work on my image problem. I was ashamed. You are made to believe that women are put here on Earth to reproduce and if you can’t do that then something is wrong with you. In my telling the story after it happened I can control what people think of me. They can’t pity me or feel sorry for me, if its after the fact. That is what has taken me so long to say anything because when people ask why we don’t have kids yet and I say we are having trouble, I often feel pity from them. That’s my perception anyway. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I am blessed. I actually had a person tell me my life sucks, which is definitely not the case.I have also gotten a lot of basic advice that I didn’t ask for, lol. This story is bigger than me though. If even one person is able to take something away from this then it was worth it.

Now that I got that out, in my next post I will talk in more detail about what to do in the meantime. How do you handle waiting on God? Essentially, how do you wait well?

Deleting Facebook friends

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So I started deleting some Facebook friends over the last few weeks. I have mentioned before that while I love writing the subject matter can sometimes be raw for me, I’m revealing my flaws and my most personal thoughts. That isn’t something I necessarily  want everyone to see which is why I haven’t done a lot of advertising on Facebook. I started deleting people if I couldn’t remember how we met, their real name, or if their page had more negative content then positive. Lol

As I was going down the list though I noticed I was hesitating over some names than I probably should have been deleting. I didn’t though because their pages are entertaining. They always have interesting gossip or throwing shade, just all around messy.

God has been convicting me lately of some respectable sins. Respectable sins being sins that we tolerate. These things don’t bring honor to God but they aren’t “that” bad. The respectable sins I have been working on are swearing, gossiping and reading smut. I have gotten the swearing mostly under control. I quit reading smut cold turkey. That’s another post for another day. Gossip is hard though. I have always been fairly good about  not gossiping about people I know. I wouldn’t want people talking about me, so I generally don’t do it. However do celebrities count? If it’s on tv or Instagram does that count? If you are just a spectator are you still gossiping? Like they say on social media, often times I’m just here for the comments.

Mostly, I just want to be in the know. I know that isn’t what God wants though. I just started reading this book Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I definitely feel like he is coming at my neck. I read this book probably almost 10 years in my college bible study group but it didn’t do anything for me then. As I am reading it now has tons of highlights. I will write another post to tell you all about the book and my thoughts. I am working on gossip but I know this going to be hard for me because its so easy to do. I will keep you guys updated on my progress. Spiritual growth is my big thing for 2018. There comes a time in your life when you want to stop asking God so much what can you do for me, and more how can I serve you?  Come join me on this journey, it should definitely be interesting.

Are there accounts that you need to stop following? Things you need to leave behind in 2017. Take this time to really assess where you want to be in 2018 and what is holding you back in your spiritual growth.