Someone asked me if I can be more aligned with God, how can I be more aligned with my spouse?

That question hit me differently.

After 15 years of marriage, I’m realizing alignment isn’t about agreeing on everything.

It’s about learning how to keep turning toward each other while God continues shaping both of us.

Because it’s easy to separate the two.
To grow spiritually in private.
To feel grounded in prayer.
To sense God shaping your heart.

And then still feel tension at home.

But real alignment with God doesn’t stay vertical.
It stretches horizontal.

If God is softening me, it should show up in my tone.
If God is refining me, it should show up in my reactions.
If God is leading me, it should show up in how I love.

Alignment with my spouse isn’t about us becoming the same person.
It’s about us facing the same direction.

Alignment in Marriage Looks Like:

• Pausing before defending
• Listening without preparing a rebuttal
• Choosing understanding over winning
• Responding instead of reacting
• Apologizing without a paragraph attached

Sometimes obedience in marriage is quiet.
It looks like restraint.
It looks like humility.
It looks like surrender.

And surrender is not weakness.
It’s strength under control.

When I’m aligned with God, my ego doesn’t need to be fed.
My tone softens.
My timing improves.
My reaction speed slows down.
My need to win decreases.

That’s alignment.

We don’t drift into unity.
We build it.

Not by forcing agreement.
Not by controlling outcomes.
But by inviting God into the in-between moments:

“How do You want me to respond right now?”
“What am I protecting?”
“Is this about being right, or being loving?”

Where in your marriage might God be asking for alignment instead of defense?

Until next time,

Dominique