Parenting yourself as a parent

As I think about Mother’s Day, I keep thinking about how important it is to parent yourself too.

Because parenting is not just about how you engage with your kids.

It’s also about how you engage with yourself.

It’s about how you speak to yourself after a hard morning.
How you recover after you lose your patience.
How you respond when you don’t measure up to the standard you created in your head.

Being somebody’s mom is hard.
Honestly, it’s the hardest role I’ve ever had.

Harder than being a wife.
Harder than being a daughter.
Harder than leading a team.
Harder than any title attached to a paycheck or applause.

Because motherhood exposes you.

It exposes your impatience.
Your need for control.
Your exhaustion.
Your expectations.
Your childhood wounds.
Your humanity.

And this is where walking with God daily matters.

Not just so you can parent your children well
but so you can parent yourself well too.

So you can give yourself grace.
So you can steady your emotions.
So you can take motherhood one day at a time instead of projecting ten years ahead.

So you can step back from:

All the expectations.
All the comparisons.
All the “shoulds.”
All the “this is how my parents did it.”

Walking with God daily reminds you that you are still being formed too.

You are not just raising a child.
God is raising you.

And sometimes the most mature thing you can do as a mother is:

Pause.
Pray.
Forgive yourself.
And try again tomorrow.

Parent yourself the way you parent your children.

With patience.
With correction and compassion.
With consistency instead of condemnation.

Because the grace you give yourself will overflow into the way you love your family.

Happy Mother’s Day to the women who keep showing up, growing, learning, repenting, loving, and trying again.

Until next time,

Dominique

Connecting with God

Connecting with God doesn’t usually fall apart because we don’t care, it falls apart because we think it requires more time, more quiet, more discipline than we actually have.

We wait for the perfect routine. The uninterrupted morning. The ideal version of ourselves who isn’t tired, distracted, or already behind.

But connection isn’t built by adding more to our schedule. It’s built by inviting God into the life we’re already living.

Sometimes that looks like a walk where your prayers are unfinished and your thoughts wander and God is still there. Sometimes it’s worship music playing while you clean, drive, or sit in traffic, turning ordinary moments into holy ones.

It might be the few quiet minutes in the shower where you finally exhale and tell God what you’ve been holding in all day. Or the drive to work when you turn everything off and let the silence say more than words.

Spiritual life doesn’t have to be rigid to be real. If it starts to feel stale, it may not be because you’re doing it wrong, it may be an invitation to try something new. Writing things down. Praying differently. Letting curiosity replace pressure.

The goal isn’t intensity. It’s attentiveness.

Faith grows through small, repeated moments of choosing to notice God and respond again and again even imperfectly.

So don’t overhaul your life this week. Just choose one small way to make space. Try it without overthinking it.

God meets us in small, faithful moments.
And those moments add up.

Until next time,

Dominique

What’s your coping mechanism?

My default coping mechanism was to freeze.

To burrow.
To hide.

And because I do, things take longer than they need to.

So how do you change a fixed mindset?

You move.

Inch by inch. Step by step. You move before you feel ready. You move without answers. You move when it doesn’t make sense.

Victory in life isn’t perfection — it’s the ability to reset, to pivot, to embrace what’s next.

We often overestimate the power the past has over us and underestimate our freedom to leave it behind. God only asks us to do the next right thing.

But movement doesn’t happen in isolation.

As your mindset shifts, your environment has to shift too.

That may mean changing:

  • who you spend time with
  • what you listen to
  • what you watch
  • what you consume

Anything that doesn’t feed what God is nurturing in you has to go.

When we remove unhealthy habits or thought patterns, we have to be careful not to replace them with busyness or different distractions. Scripture warns us that an empty, unguarded space will always be filled.

That’s why we have to be intentional, not just about what we remove, but about what we add.

We have to guard the vulnerable place where growth is happening.

Nothing not fear, not failure, not other people can take what God placed inside of you. But it does need protection.

Sometimes growth doesn’t look like bold leaps.
Sometimes it looks like quiet movement.
Sometimes it looks like choosing not to freeze.

Move anyway. God will meet you there.

Until next time,

Dominique


What Have You Believed About Yourself?

What have you believed about yourself based on your current circumstances or past experiences?
What have those beliefs stopped you from doing?

We all carry quiet conclusions about ourselves. Some are obvious. Others are so familiar we don’t even question them anymore. But those beliefs shape what we attempt, what we avoid, and how we respond when things don’t go as planned.

One line that keeps coming back to me is this:
You make plans, but God makes paths.

That matters, because mindset determines whether we trust the path when it doesn’t look like the plan.

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

A fixed mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence are innate and largely unchangeable. People with a fixed mindset often see failure as a reflection of who they are, not something they did.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence.

That difference sounds subtle — but it changes everything.

Signs of a Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset often shows up as:

  • Avoiding challenges
  • Resenting or ignoring feedback
  • Feeling threatened by others’ success
  • Hiding flaws to avoid judgment
  • Viewing failure as permanent

Reading that list can be uncomfortable. Many of us recognize ourselves in it — even if we don’t want to.

The hardest part isn’t admitting we’ve had a fixed mindset.
It’s realizing how long it’s been quietly making decisions for us.

Reflection

What belief about yourself have you accepted without questioning?
And what might be possible if that belief isn’t the full truth?

Sometimes growth begins not with effort — but with awareness.


Until next time,

Dominique

A Growth Mindset Rooted in Faith

The difference between a typical growth mindset and a biblical one is faith.

A typical growth mindset is centered on the belief that I can improve, I can progress, I can figure it out.
A biblical growth mindset is rooted in something deeper. It says:

No matter what — success or failure — my Heavenly Father is not disappointed in me.

That truth changes everything.

Oftentimes, the greatest roadblock to a growth mindset is fear — fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of imperfection, fear of letting God down.

I once wrote in my journal:
Lord, I know what You want me to do, but I don’t want to let You down.

In that moment, the words of a song came to mind:

I’ll never be more loved than I am right now…
So there’s nothing I can do to let You down.

That line stopped me.

I can’t let God down — not because I always get it right, but because my performance was never holding Him up in the first place.

Can God be disappointed in us? Scripture gives us language, but it helps to be precise. In the Bible, disappointment is a word used of people toward people, not of God toward humanity. God’s response is better described as displeasure, not disappointment.

Disappointment comes from unmet expectations.
Displeasure is dissatisfaction with a situation and a desire to move it toward what is good.

God has no false expectations of you.
No illusions.
No surprises.

God knows you fully and loves you completely. God delights in you — and grieves when you live beneath who you truly are, not because He expected more, but because He knows what’s possible.

God is never disillusioned by you.
He never had any illusions about you in the first place.

A fixed mindset keeps us stuck. One setback becomes a sentence. One failure becomes a forecast: This is how it will always be.

Faith interrupts that story.

A typical growth mindset says, “I can change.”
A biblical growth mindset says, “God will change me.”

And that truth gives us freedom to move forward without fear.

Faith doesn’t remove the work — it removes the fear


Easter Reflections

This time of year can feel strange.

Easter reminds us of resurrection and new life, yet many of us quietly feel stuck—tired, restless, or dulled by routines we once prayed for. It’s easy to get used to our blessings. Familiarity settles in. Gratitude fades. And without realizing it, joy and peace feel harder to access.

The disciples knew that feeling.

They didn’t expect to lose Jesus the way they did. What they thought was secure was suddenly gone. Grief, confusion, and fear took over. And yet, what felt like loss became the doorway to something deeper. They didn’t just get Jesus back; they encountered Him in a new way.

Easter reminds us that what feels lost isn’t always gone forever. Joy can be recovered. Peace can be restored. Perspective can be renewed—often by remembering all that God has already done.

It’s possible to be surrounded by answers to prayer and still feel unsettled.

Not because something is wrong—but because time, pressure, and familiarity have a way of shifting our perspective.

What once felt sacred can quietly become assumed.

And without realizing it, we move from gratitude to restlessness.

Questions help us notice when that shift happens.

Have the goalposts moved without us naming it?

Have circumstances started to define whether what we prayed for is still “good”?

Have we mistaken the weight of responsibility for dissatisfaction?

Sometimes the ache we feel isn’t a signal to want more.

It’s an invitation to return.

Not to a moment, but to a posture.

To the trust we had when we asked.

To the gratitude we felt before outcomes were visible.

The way forward may not require something new.

It may simply ask us to pause, remember, and re-align our hearts with the God who already came through.

This might be the moment to pause, remember, and let gratitude lead again.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Until next time,

Dominique

God Rejoices to See the Work Begin

I feel good right now — mentally and spiritually.

I’m operating in my gifts.
I’m being obedient.
My house is clean.
I’m drinking water.
I don’t feel stressed.

That in itself feels like a small miracle.

And yet, there’s another voice underneath it all — quieter, but familiar — whispering, What if the other shoe drops? What if I mess this up?

I’ve lived long enough to know that good seasons don’t always stay. Discipline can fade. Focus can slip. Peace can feel fragile. So even in a good place, part of me stays alert, bracing for impact.

But lately, God has been gently correcting that posture in me.

Not with pressure.
Not with warnings.
With reassurance.

“The Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”
— Zechariah 4:10

That verse stopped me in my tracks.

God doesn’t rejoice only at the finish line.
He rejoices at the beginning.

Not perfection.
Not completion.
Obedience.

And that’s what I’m doing.

Again — but this time with renewed focus and purpose — I’m doing what He told me to do.

I’ve also stopped trying to plan my whole life at once. Instead, I’m living in three-month increments. Looking too far ahead tends to make me anxious — not inspired — and I’ve learned that peace often comes from staying present.

God is not surprised that I’m starting again. He built renewal into the rhythm of faith.

Scripture reminds us that His mercies are new every morning. Renewal isn’t evidence that we failed — it’s evidence that God is still working.

I think sometimes we fear beginning again because we assume God is disappointed. That He’s watching with crossed arms, waiting to see if we’ll finally get it right this time.

But that’s not the God revealed in Scripture.

God is patient.
God is steady.

God is faithful.

He is not asking me to carry the weight of completion — only the courage to obey today.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”

That means my responsibility is not perfection.
It’s participation.

Hope plays a big role here.

Scripture says those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed. It also says those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. That tells me hope is not fragile optimism — it’s an anchor. It doesn’t deny difficulty; it keeps us grounded through it.

So if I feel peace right now, it’s not because I finally got everything right.

It’s because my life is aligned — even imperfectly — with the Spirit of God.

And alignment produces peace.

This season isn’t about holding everything together out of fear that I’ll lose it. It’s about trusting that God is strong enough to sustain what He asked me to begin.

God is not disappointed that I’m beginning again.
He is rejoicing that I’m beginning at all.

And that truth is enough to keep me moving forward — one obedient step at a time.

Until next time,

Dominique

Choosing peace over control

For a long time, I lived in my head.

Not in a thinking-deeply kind of way—but in a going-back-and-forth-with-myself kind of way.


I revisited the same choice over and over, as if something new would appear if I just thought harder.

It was exhausting.

Sometimes it showed up in small things—like my hair or what to do for the evening.
Other times it was bigger—direction, timing, next steps.

But the pattern was always the same: mental gymnastics.

I told myself I was being thoughtful. Responsible. Wise.

But it wasn’t clarity I was after.

It was control.

Mental gymnastics was how I tried to manage the discomfort of uncertainty. I wanted to feel settled before I actually was. I kept my mind moving because stillness felt too vulnerable.

Control kept me busy.
Peace asked me to be quiet.

And for a long time, peace wasn’t the goal.

Certainty was.

But I learned something: peace doesn’t come from making the perfect decision.

If it did, the most anxious people would be the most peaceful.

Peace came when I released the need to get everything right.

When I chose with the light I had and trusted God with what I didn’t.
When I let decisions land instead of renegotiating them ten times in my head.
When I accepted that faith doesn’t eliminate uncertainty—it teaches us how to live inside it without spiraling.

I stopped asking myself only What’s the right choice?

And started asking, What choice lets me breathe?

I stopped asking, What if I regret this?

And started asking, What if I stop carrying this so tightly?

That shift changed everything.

I realized mental gymnastics wasn’t wisdom.
It was fear dressed up as responsibility.

And I was tired of being tired.

So I gave it up.

I chose peace over control.
Trust over overthinking.
Stillness over endless internal debate.

Not because life became clearer—but because I did.

And I learned this:
If a decision costs me my peace, it’s already too expensive.

Until next time,

Dominique

How Do I Get Peace? (Choosing and Practicing It Daily)

Peace doesn’t just happen. Scripture is clear—it’s something we seek.

“Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

Psalm 34:14 (NIV)

That word pursue matters. It implies movement, intention, and choice.

Sometimes pursuing peace means turning away from thought patterns, habits, or conversations that steal our clarity. Other times it means choosing obedience before our emotions catch up.

Peace is active.

Peace Thrives Where the Spirit Leads

When we choose what feeds our spirit, peace follows.

That might look like:

Shifting our attention from what’s wrong to who God is Filling our minds with worship, Scripture, sermons, and truth Talking to God honestly instead of holding everything in

Prayer isn’t about sounding put together. It’s about staying connected.

Peace Grows in Joy and Community

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”

2 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV)

Peace is nurtured in encouragement, unity, and joy. Isolation often fuels anxiety, but shared faith makes room for the God of peace to dwell among us.

The Practice of Peace

Peace doesn’t come from fixing every problem.

It comes from fixing our gaze.

When we keep our eyes on Him—again and again—our hearts slowly learn how to rest.

Until next time,

Dominique

How Do I Get Peace? (Where Your Mind Lives)

How do I get peace?

It’s a question I return to often, especially in seasons when my thoughts feel loud, my emotions feel fragile, and my circumstances won’t slow down.

Scripture gives a clear answer, even if living it out takes practice:

Keep your eyes stayed on Him.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.”

Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

But how do we actually do that?

Peace Begins With a Steadfast Mind

This verse doesn’t promise peace to people with easy lives. It promises peace to people with fixed minds—minds that return to God again and again.

A steadfast mind doesn’t mean we never feel anxious or overwhelmed. It means we notice when our thoughts drift and choose to bring them back to God.

Peace grows when trust becomes our default posture.

What’s Governing Your Thoughts?

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”

Romans 8:6 (NIV)

This verse invites an honest check-in.

When my mind is governed by the flesh, I’m led by fear, control, comparison, and emotion. When my mind is governed by the Spirit, I experience life and peace, not because everything is resolved, but because my focus has shifted.

Peace doesn’t come from controlling outcomes.

It comes from surrendering authority.

Part 2 will explore how peace becomes something we actively pursue and how it shows up in daily practice.

Until next time,

Dominique