Being pregnant

I know I was pretty casual about announcing my pregnancy. I have been that way the entire time. People always think its really funny. I am not trying to downplay anything. I don’t I have been this happy and overwhelmed at the same time in my life. The only other time I can think of is when I was planning my wedding.

One of my bfs said that I am acting way differently then she thought I would about this pregnancy. I am not sure at all what that means. I’m going to ask her before I post this so I can have an answer for all of us. UPDATE:  Still don’t have an answer to this. It will be in the part 2.

When I first found out I was pregnant it literally came out of nowhere. I went to the doctor in August to get some testing done, because I wanted to start trying again. The news I received was not encouraging. The doctor told me that there was no change from last year and that I probably would not be able to get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs. This was two days before my birthday, September 11. I left the doctor feeling pretty bummed but I was going to Toronto for my birthday that weekend so I rescinded to not be bitter. I told the doctor I didn’t want to go the fertility drug route, so even though she wrote me a prescription for Clomid, I never got it filled. A direct quote from my journal….

TMI alert:

We got back from our trip (which was sooo much fun) and life moved on. Fast forward its the first week of October and my period is late. I didn’t think that much of it because I have had false alarms before. Took at test after about a week that was inconclusive. I continued to party and have a good time. Hence my I extended my summer vacation post. Still nothing after another week, so I take another test. Its positive!!

I didn’t think it was real. I thought I had a false positive. I think I walked around the entire first trimester in a state of disbelief. I was sick and felt awful but that was the only evidence I was pregnant. I lost 7lbs, it was not good. I believed God gave me this blessing but I just was so worried that I definitely didn’t enjoy the experience.

I wrote all that to say, its an odd place to be to be pregnant when it took so long to get there. For it to happen out of nowhere still blows my mind. I never doubted it would happen, I just thought it would take a few months, maybe at the end of the year or something.

UPDATE: There will definitely be a Part Two. I have a lot more to say about this subject it ended up getting posted before I was finished. Stay tuned.

New kid on the block

I have been working in the same job for the last 4 years. I am a college counselor. I love my job and am I good at it. I recently made a move to a new school this year and it completely shook my confidence.

I have only been there a month but I have learned a lot of lessons in the last 30 days.

1. I don’t have anything to prove. I am good at my job and I don’t have to do it the same way the previous person did.
2. I can not be everything for everybody. I was literally running myself ragged trying to make every meeting, do every presentation, sometimes trying to be two places at once. It was unnecessary. I wasn’t giving anything 100% because I was trying to do too much.
3. I can make mistakes. I am not perfect and that is ok. Nobody is putting any pressure on me but me. I just need to relax and do what I’m good at.
4. Trust is a very interesting thing. I’m going to talk more about this in a later post. I don’t really know the team I am working with that well yet. I am used to being excluded from things and being left off emails so I have been just showing up places. I don’t need to, my counterpart hasn’t left me off anything. He hasn’t done anything for me not to trust him.

Being a new person is not easy for me, nor is change. When I first started it was hard. I was lonely and nervous and unsure of myself. 30 days later I feel more relaxed. I have made some friends and I am learning the lay of the land. This change is exactly what I didn’t know I needed. I am so glad that I didn’t block my blessing by being afraid.

Summer is coming to a end

The summer flew by as it always does and now its September 1. I can’t believe it. This summer was definitely one of growth. I feel like I did less partying but I didn’t feel bored. The days seemed full. My birthday is in 12 days. It will be my Jesus year so I am excited about that. I’m fasting to prepare for my birthday as well. Get my mind, body and soul into gear. I have more thoughts on the Jesus year that I will get into as I get closer to my birthday.

My boss asked us to three questions that I think would be good for anyone to use as reflection for the end of a season.

What was the highlight of your summer?

Highlight of my summer was traveling, seeing Beyonce’ (twice!) and getting a new puppy.

 

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(Riveria Maya, Mexico June 2018)

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(Chicago, July 2018)

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(OTR II Cleveland, Ohio July 2018)

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(OTR II Columbus, Ohio August 2018)

(OTR II Columbus, Ohio August 2018)

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(Hunter James, July 2018)

His name is Hunter James and he is certainly a handful. He has definitely been a challenge but my husband and I have embraced him.

What are you looking forward to in the new year?

I’m looking forward to being a better version of myself. My best friend always calls it 2.0. I like that. I definitely want to do that as well. You guys would be so proud of me! I have really stepped out of my comfort zone in the last few months and the results have been amazing.

I want to continue to grow this blog, work on writing better and jazz up my website. My cousin who is working on being a brand ambassador said there is no “me” on my website. Which is true. At first I didn’t want it to be about me per se. I was worried about people wanting to know my business and using it to gossip. I didn’t want my message to get lost in talking about “me” all the time. I can see how the that would be impersonal though, so I added some pics 🙂

What are you happy to leave behind?

I’m happy to leave behind self doubt, self pity, self sabotage.

I doubt myself a lot. I may not say it out loud but I do a lot of second guessing and it can be exhausting. I want to be able to go with my gut, use discernment and be satisfied with a decision. I don’t want to replay conversations over and over again to see if I said something stupid, awkward or random. I want to pick out an outfit and just get dressed. Self pity is harder because it sneaks up on you. I can be moving along nicely and my mind will take me back some place that I don’t want to go or bring up a memory that from the past. Or have me worrying about things that have not happened yet. I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to anyone else to feel sorry for me, so I’m certainly not going to feel sorry for myself.  Self sabotage is sneaky too. I sometimes don’t realize I am doing it until I am in the middle and realized that a better decision could have been made. Like I give up because I don’t see the results in the time frame I want.  Things don’t work that way, so I am just trying to remain focused and be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day and Dominique 2.0 won’t be built in a day either.

HELLO SEPTEMBER

M.I.A

I know I have been missing in action for a few weeks now. So many excited things have happened and I can’t wait to tell you all about them. I know I said I wouldn’t go a week without posting but it happened.

I am sorry. Although I don’t have any regrets. Sometimes I have to live life and not just write about it. Its been a good summer but, its about over so time to get back on the normal routine. Plus writing everyday for 31 days is a lot and I needed a break. lol. Don’t worry, come September I will be back on my 3 day a week schedule.

New followers don’t leave. I appreciate you coming. Check out some archives, I have over 100 posts!

Did you ever feel like you needed to take a break after a massive writing project?

p.s- Did WordPress do some updates? I don’t think I like them…

 

Where to next

Finishing a challenge , it makes it hard to see whats next. I really busted my hump to make sure I finished that challenge. I wanted to make sure each post was well written. Each one was not my best post, but I did try and I am proud of myself.

It feels weird to not number my post anymore, lol.

Some one asked me what I was going to do next and its a good question. I have a personal writing goal but I don’t know if I am going to share that one the blog. I want to write 100 pages by December 26. Part of that, is writing like no one will read it to give me the courage to actually finish it. So I don’t know if you all will get to read it or not. I will see once its done.  I will do a few periodic check ins just to keep myself accountable and monitor my progress.

I need a blog goal now. I am cooking a few things up in my mind but nothing solid yet.  I am also going to take a class from Blogging University and work on some of my old posts. Any suggestions? I am looking for ways to grow my writing and my blog so any ideas would be great.

Heres to the rest of the year!

Dominique

 

Lessons from 100 posts (21)

  1. Blogging is more than writing. I have read this a few times from various places. Its not that I forget but writing is already so much that I don’t take as much time out for the other stuff. I’m not writing for money or anything like that. I do want people to read what I write though. I want a website that is pretty to the eye as well as the words being good. People certainly judge a book by its cover.
  2. You also need to consistently read other people’s work and comment on their posts. I have had so much going on that I haven’t been reading much on WordPress. I haven’t been engaging in my blog as much as I was earlier this year. I noticed the visible difference. I noticed that when I read other people posts it drives them to my blog. This sounds like common sense but until I did it myself, I didn’t take it seriously.
  3. Sometimes its better to start something and do research later. This sounds weird as I write it because it goes against the very person I am. I am a classic researcher. I love gathering information. I read a lot of posts about the top ten things to do to get your blog to grow. Lately I have been reading books on how to write, how to start, etc. That research was helpful but it also delayed me. It was a stall tactic and  I didn’t really “get it” though. It is much more clear now that I am in the midst actually engaging in what I am trying to do. I can see the actual real time happenings of this advice.