Its blooming season

Happy April and Spring to you!

New seasons are for new beginnings and new outlooks.

I’m extra excited for this spring because last spring was so rough. I feel like this spring will be different. I have been planting seeds, (doing the work) fertilizing the soil, (affirming myself) pulling weeds and pruning my garden (letting go of things that don’t serve me).

I’m excited to discuss how to bloom where your planted in this new season of life. Stay tuned in April as we talk about growth work and how to do it.

Instagram 📷 about.the.good.life

Happy blooming,

Dominique

Great Podcasts from Women

All month we are talking about women and how awesome we are, I thought it would be great to share some podcasts that I listen to hosted by women .

Therapy for Black Girls-Dr. Joy

Podcast — Therapy For Black Girls
The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. (from their website)

Jesus Calling-Sarah Young (there is a devotional by the same name. Excellent read! The best devotional I have read to date.)

Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith Podcast - Listen, Reviews, Charts -  Chartable
Every week on this podcast she meets with different guests to discuss faith, courage, encouragement, love and trusting God.

Nona Jones Podcast-Nona Jones

The Nona Jones Podcast – Podcast – Podtail
The Nona Jones Podcast explores how many of the most admired leaders, business executives and public figures turned trauma into triumph and built purpose out of pain to emerge from their greatest struggles undefeated.  from Apple Podcasts

The Suga-Tika Sumpter and Thai Randolph

The Suga – Podcast – Podtail
Each week, listeners can laugh, learn, love and (instead of spilling the tea) share THE SUGA by celebrating sisterhood and motherhood. TheSuga.com

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker

For the Love Podcast - Jen Hatmaker
For the love of … People. Home. Stories. Shoes. Family. Jesus. Community. TV. Accessories. Food. Culture. The New York Times best-selling author and star of HGTV’s “My Big Family Renovation,” invites you to drop by and catch up with her friends as they laugh and share about all the things we love.  From For The Love podcast website

Unlocking Us- Brene Brown

Podcast Recommendation- UNLOCKING US by Brené Brown – MURDERINO READS
Join researcher and #1 New York Times best-selling author Brené Brown as she unpacks and explores the ideas, stories, experiences, books, films, and music that reflect the universal experiences of being human, from the bravest moments to the most brokenhearted. from BreneBrown.com

Brown Ambition-Mandi Woodruff and Tiffany Aliche

Brown Ambition Podcast – Brown Ambition is a weekly podcast about career,  business, building wealth and living in this brown skin.
A weekly podcast helping you unapologetically build wealth by saving, investing and making smart career choices — on your own terms!

Baggage Reclaim-Natalie Lue

The Baggage Reclaim Sessions on Apple Podcasts
Natalie Lue expands her popular blog Baggage Reclaim into podcast form with a weekly show about how to live and love with more self-esteem by unpacking, decluttering and tidying up our excess emotional baggage. It’s time to reclaim yourself and experience more love, care trust and respect. from Apple Podcasts

Enjoy,

Dominique

Are you asking for help?

📷: @luvvie Instagram

I saw this on Instagram the other day and it really spoke to me. Especially the line, “outsource your life”. I have been notorious for not asking for help. I didn’t often want to ask for help because I didn’t want to look like I couldn’t handle whatever situation I was in. I didn’t want people to view me as weak. Asking for help puts you in a vulnerable position. I have mentioned struggles I have had in the past and people have thrown them back in my face. It may not have been intentional, but I certainly don’t want to be reminded of my weaknesses.

As I was reading the book of Numbers it talked about Moses complaining to God that his workload was too large.

I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin. ”The Lord said to Moses: “Bring me seventy of Israel’s elders who are known to you as leaders and officials among the people. Have them come to the tent of meeting, that they may stand there with you.  I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone. Numbers 11:14-17

I took a few things from these verses.

1. God gave 70! people do to the work that Moses was doing. 70! Think about all the work that was on his shoulders that he wouldn’t have gotten assistance with if he had not asked.

2. God didn’t take away anything from Moses when he took away some of his responsibility. He didn’t lose his anointing. He didn’t get demoted. Nobody teased him for asking for help. God wasn’t mad at him for asking and he took care of it right away.

3. Many people were anointed based on Moses asking for help. Nobody complained about helping Moses. I bet they were glad to be able to contribute and help God as well. How many people could be blessed by you asking for help?

I have started outsourcing my life in the last several months and it has been extremely helpful. I have a house cleaner come once a month and it has changed my life. It has taken a ton of stress off my shoulders. I felt so bad when I was initially considering it. I didn’t want people questioning what kind of mother I was if I had to pay someone to clean my house. I have since let go of that idea!

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Remember you don’t owe anyone anything. You want to make decisions that help your life go easier. You will be doing you yourself a favor. Don’t feel bad either, its not necessary and it will only slow you down.

You Dont Have To Do This Ego Nwodim GIF by Saturday Night Live
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How relevant is the Proverbs 31 woman today?

I told yall I had beef with this Proverb. It just seemed so unattainable.

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However, after reading it again it doesn’t focus on the work of a woman as much as I thought, it more so focuses on her character.

I guess we get caught up in her actions more because most of us want some kind of action plan. Tangible steps that we can do in our day to day lives to live better. Its much easier to change when you give me a checklist of things to do. However, God doesn’t really work that way. He want’s us our hearts to be right. Once our hearts in the right place, our actions will follow.

How can I apply this today?

Reminder: This isn’t a checklist of things to do but more so a guide to let you know how to live.

We shouldn’t take this literally. Most of us don’t live in places where we can go inspect fields and plant vineyards. I am not sewing any clothes nor do I have a ton of servants I can give housework. I believe this is a stance on not being lazy and trying to make good use of your time. This is a good reminder not to use your free to time to binge Netflix and surf Instagram.

Most bible scholars would say that this is a compilation of many women not just one. This proverb was written by a king named Lemul. He was just writing what he saw his mom, and probably her friends doing. When I start looking at it that way, it changed my perspective. Its bogus to expect one woman to do ALL of the things in this Proverb.

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10‭-‬12

To me these are some of the most important lines in this proverb. I think any woman can get behind this. I certainly want to enrich my husbands life.

It also was not written to women, it was written to men to know what to look for when they go find a wife. People get mad all the time (and I agree with them) that you hear a lot in church about people preaching to women about how to be a good wife but not to men about how to be a good husband. I think knowing that this Proverb was really written to men makes sense. The bible tells us that a man that finds a wife finds a good thing.

What would I want my son to say about me? I want my son and my husband to be proud of me. I want to provide a good example so my son knows what kind of woman to look for. I want him to know what values are important. I want my son to know that beauty on the inside is more important than beauty on the outside. I want to greatly enrich the life of my husband.

The Proverbs 31 woman is very relevant, if we use her (them) as a guide I believe we can get something good out it. If we use it as a checklist, its only going to make us angry and frustrated.

Birthday reflections

Rainbows are a sign of Gods promises. He put up the first one after he flooded the Earth and saved Noah and his family.

on my drive to work

My birthday was Sunday and it also reminds me of Gods promises. I got pregnant around my birthday two years. On this day as I’m writing this (9/10) I was told I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on my own. So every year since then it all comes back and reminds me that God is a promise keeper. He does what he says he will do. He doesn’t lie or change his mind. I know that in theory but its nice to have a reminder.

My birthday has always been a big deal to me even from when I was a little kid. Its at the tail end of summer so it could be blazing hot, last year it was 90 degrees! Or it could be cool and chilly. It has always signified new beginnings for me, even more so than the beginning of the year.

real housewives birthday GIF by Slice
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I remember my 33 birthday that was supposed to be my Jesus year and that didn’t happen. Last year was just survival mode in learning how to be a new mom. 35 though…will this be my year?

I dont want to say so and it isn’t but this year feels different. I think the biggest change is consistency. I have been exercising 5 days a week consistently since August 3.

Cbs Love GIF by LoveIslandUSA
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I have been going to noon day bible study on Wednesday at church since May.

I’ve been doing the work to make lifestyle changes that I can sustain. Sustainability is key. I used to start off super hard but I couldn’t maintain that momentum.

I used to worry about what I could do to keep the momentum going. I was so worried about the something disturbing the joy I was feeling that I wasn’t enjoying it.

Not anymore. I am making sure to take each day one at a time and that has helped tremendously. I am learning how to stop my negative thoughts in its tracks. I am exploring new things and becoming open to new ideas and thought processes. I am learning how to be 100% me, 100% of the time.

I set that goal in December but I didn’t start working on it really until we were forced to stay in the house. The last six months have been a lot of work but I have definitely reaped the benefits.

10 things I’ve learned since becoming a mother

1. Empathy- no one helps. People literally watch you struggle. I never noticed this before. Being a mom has shown me how to express feelings outside of myself and better understand other people’s emotions.

2. Patience- with myself, family, friends, the baby, its crazy. Patience was a big lesson I needed to learn. If I would have become a mother earlier in my life I wouldn’t have gained this skill set. Listening to babies cry or throw their bottle at you, patience is what you need.

3. Dont compare- to my old self, to my husband, to other moms, nobody. I thought the biggest comparison would be to other moms but I was definitely wrong on that. More on this in another post.

4. Be humble. Motherhood is nothing like I expected. I didnt have a ton of expectations but what I thought I knew I definitely was wrong. You can’t find all the answers on Google. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and judge what you would do when it isn’t your kid but having a kid of your own changes things.

5. I can do more on less sleep than I thought. So little sleep. Its insane. I used to love taking a nap but now I just do without. Nap when the baby naps is really a lie. Lol

6. It’s ok to say I dont know what I’m doing or admit I messed up. Once I started talking to people about my feelings I realised I wasn’t the only person going through that or thought that way. Moms are expected to have all the answers and that’s just not the case. Lots of things are intuitive but not everything and it was nice to admit that.

7. I have to be intentional about my self care. Writing, alone time, spending time with my friends, all of it has to be intentional or it won’t happen. I hate to admit but I’m better about spending time with my friends than with myself sometimes.

8. Water truly does a body good. I have heard this but I never tested it out myself until I was pregnant and after. The rumours are true. I had to drink it when I was pregnant and the results were great. I’m trying to get back to that space.

9. I will receive tons of unsolicited advice and opinions. I most often bite my tongue. Ive gotten much better about this than when he was first born. People are just trying to help. Their intentions are good. More on this in another post.

10. Everything has changed. I am ok with that. I have been trying so hard to be the person I was before but that girl is gone. A new better person is emerging.

I am stronger than I think I am.

My son just turned one. The hardest thing to put into practice is the self care. Its so easy to put yourself on the back burner when you have a kid.

I can expand on just about everything on this list. So much of this can be unpacked. I will in the upcoming months.

Progress over perfection

I’ve been avoiding my blog because since I have become a new mom I really haven’t the time to dedicate to it that I did before I was pregnant. You know how you avoid someone you haven’t talked in a while. Like we don’t have any beef but at this point its kind of awkward if we talk again. What will we talk about?

Several people have asked me and I didn’t want this blog to turn into a “mommy blog”. I don’t feel like I have a enough experience to speak about that, although I know that is the kind of vulnerability people are looking for.  I don’t want to alienate any of my readers though. I didn’t read mommy blogs when I wasn’t a mom. Its a new element of my life and it will be featured but I am going to try and not let that dominate my content.

I heard this phrase progress over perfection the other day and it really touched me. I want this blog to be the very best of me and I would like it to reach hundreds of people. To do that I need to dedicate more time into making sure its good. At what cost though?

The writing is never the problem. That’s my passion. The gift that God gave me that I haven’t been using to the fullest. I felt like God gave me the greatest gift of all time, my baby boy but  I haven’t been giving him back his gift. I’ve talked about this before, using the gift God gave you. I’m trying. I heard once that Jesus is gentleman, he never pushes you. I have been getting subtle hints for a while now, different verses and confirmation. I saw this on Instagram and just decided to go for it.

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Its always the extra stuff, the pictures, the memes, the gifs that I add in to make you want to read and keep coming back. I wrote all summer while I was off on maternity leave but I have posted any of it. That’s about to change.

Content will be coming out, not as often as before. I am thinking once a week or twice a week at first and see how that goes. I appreciate all the followers I have for sticking by me. So we are back on the train again. Funny thing this is when I started posting on the blog when the blog first began. Welp, I’m back at it. Come hang out with me!