November: The Fruit of the Spirit — Who Are You Becoming?

November is here, and this month we’re going to talk about the Fruit of the Spirit!

When I started planning this series about six months ago, I knew I wanted to do something a little different for November. This is typically the time of year when we focus on gratitude, thankfulness, and giving. And while all those things are important, I wanted us to think about something else, too.

What are we putting out into the world? How are we showing up? And who are we becoming?

Especially with the midterm elections coming up here in America, I think it’s a good time to reflect on how we treat one another, even when we disagree.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about what it really means to follow Jesus. One question that keeps coming up is: Are you trying to be like them, or are you trying to be like Jesus?

Because those are two very different things!

Jesus teaches us to forgive, turn the other cheek, love our enemies, and extend grace. And while that sounds wonderful in theory, putting it into practice can be challenging.

I’m not a particularly petty person, but I’ll admit that always being the bigger person isn’t easy. Sometimes you want to respond with the same energy someone gives you. Sometimes you want to prove your point. And sometimes you know you’re right, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re handling the situation correctly.

I’ve had to confront that in my own life recently.

I’ve had conversations where I had to admit that my ego played a role in how I handled a situation. I’ve had to apologize, take responsibility, and recognize that even when someone else contributed to a disagreement, I still had a responsibility for my own behavior.

That has taught me a lot about practicing what I preach.

It’s one thing to say you go to church, read your Bible, pray, and follow Jesus. It’s another thing entirely when someone is yelling at you, pointing fingers, or challenging you, and you have to decide how you’re going to respond.

Are you going to react like everyone else, or are you going to respond in a way that reflects Jesus?

That’s where the Fruit of the Spirit comes in.

Galatians 5:22–23 (NIV) identifies nine characteristics: love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

These aren’t simply personality traits that some people naturally have and others don’t. They’re characteristics that the Holy Spirit develops in us as we grow in our relationship with God.

We’re called to cultivate all of them, not just the ones that come naturally.

Some may be easier for us than others. You might be a naturally joyful person but struggle with patience. You might be kind but have difficulty exercising self-control. Or you might be faithful but struggle to respond gently when someone pushes your buttons.

That’s part of growing and maturing spiritually.

Throughout November, we’ll explore what these characteristics actually look like in everyday life. We’ll talk about peace, joy, gentleness, and what it means to have strength under control. We’ll also discuss gratitude as we move through this season of thanksgiving.

But more than anything, I want this series to be practical.

I don’t want us to simply know what the Fruit of the Spirit is. I want us to think about how we demonstrate it in our homes, workplaces, relationships, and communities.

Spiritual growth isn’t just about what we know. It’s about how we live.

So as we begin this month, I want you to consider one question:

If someone looked at the way you treated others this past week, what fruit would they see?

Stay tuned. We’re going to grow together this month!

January 28


I actually wrote the post March 29 on Jan 28. It was 60 days in the future. I was prophesying over my own life. Putting in the atmosphere to myself and God how I wanted to feel and here we are almost 6 months later and it’s working. There have been hard times in there but I’m handling them better. I’m becoming stronger, more resilient, more open. We are about to get into the summer season and that’s usually where I get off track but I’m still getting things done. I’m having fun, as you are reading this post I’m at the beach but now I can do both. I’m not letting anything distract me and I am seeing the fruit of my labor. Im proud of me and excited to see what the second half of the year brings.

Until next time,

Dominique

New mercies

”Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There’s are a few different versions of this verse but I like this one because it says we are not consumed because his compassion’s never fail.

Consume in the Hebrew means devour. What is devouring you right now? Is it work? Is it home? Family? Friendships? Anxiety? Stress?

Because God is compassionate nothing can overtake us or devour us. One bad day doesn’t make a bad week. One bad conversation doesn’t make for a bad relationship. Because of his new mercies we can begin each new day with fresh perspective. I know it can be hard to get over a hurt and keep replaying it in your mind but you don’t have to.
Each day is a new opportunity to begin again.
God is not walking around holding on to that hurt, anger, sadness and we don’t have to either.

I’m not saying if someone hurt you it’s instant relief but remembering that you can start the next interaction fresh may be helpful to you.

New mercies count for everything not just for days but bad conversations, hurt feelings, bad choices, regrets, etc

Before you decide to hold on to bad feelings, bad decisions, regret, guilt, grudges, etc remember that Gods

mercies are new every morning.

Are you holding on to something and you need to let go?

Prayer: Father help us not hold on to things we don’t need to. You say give you our burdens and you will give us rest. Thank you that we don’t have to hold on to anything but you. Thank you we are not devoured or consumed and that we have the ability to start fresh.

Focus on your strengths

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I asked God to do this for me as I was working through and trying to find peace. I focus so heavy on fixing my weaknesses and wanting to be better. If I can work on those then I will be better. That isn’t true though and it wasn’t what God wanted me to do. When I asked him to point out anything in me that offends him.
He said: why do you keep trying to improve on the model that I made?

It’s a fair question and one I hadn’t considered before. If I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Why do I need to fix myself?  There isn’t anything wrong with me. God gave me this verse and it makes a lot of sense.

You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭17‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I like it. From this point forward I’m going to work on building my strengths instead of fixing my weaknesses. As I build on my strengths my weaknesses will have no choice but to get better. Plus focusing on strengths lead with compassion and I don’t always do that with myself. If God can find nothing wrong with me who am I to tell him he’s wrong.

List 3 things you do well. How can you build on those strengths?

Prayer: Father as we work to get better, help us change our mindset. Continue to renew our minds as we fight not to believe the devils lies. Remind us we were made in your image and you make no mistakes. You work everything out for our good because we believe in you. Thank you for clarity and new perspectives. In Jesus name. Amen.

I’m back


Hello! This has been a long time coming. So much life has happened since I made my last post 10 months ago. It’s like I had a new birth of myself. One version of me had to die for this new version to be birthed.

I went back and looked at some of my old posts and they were dark. The interesting thing is that I don’t remember what was bothering me last September or what that was referencing. I was still on maternity leave but who knows.

Going from 1-2 kids was a huge transition. Shout out to all the moms cause whew this is hard work! I used to want three. Yea right! I don’t know how we would have managed that.

I’ve been working on some of the things we talked about, self care and positive self talk, perfectionism and over thinking.

I’ve discovered new things I’m interested in like minimalism. More on that later. I’ve been fine tuning my writing and listening to the LORD’s promptings. I read 100 books last year. Only 12 were non fiction so I’m trying to increase it that number this year.

I’m trying to be more vulnerable and I’m learning that it actually works when you do it.

I’m working on showing myself more compassion and realizing that I can’t solve everyone’s problems.

Im working on the mom wife balance. I don’t want to just be a good mom but a good wife too. We’ll get more into some marriage stuff later on as well.

Writing/blogging has always been on my heart and I’ve missed it but I had to get back to it in my own time in my own way.

I’m excited for what the second half of the year is going to bring and what I will share with you. Come check me out when you have some time.

Until next time,
Dominique

What I’ve been busy doing when I’m not writing. My family. Jesse, LJ, and James.

Confession: I don’t know

This post was originally published on March 14, 2018. As I was looking for something for Throwback Thursday, I saw that this exactly describes how I feel right now. I definitely feel like everything God has had me learn over the past year I am being tested on right now. It feels scary but that is a good thing because if I am being tested, then he thinks I’m ready for the next step.

Not knowing things is not something I’m comfortable with. I like to have a clear plan outlined with action steps. Things don’t always happen that way in a growing season. You only can do some much planting and then you have to sit back and let it grow.

I’m in a growing season right now and growing hurts. The term growing pains is definitely real. It hurts to be stretched more than you thought you could handle. It hurts to let things go that you thought would always be there.

Growing requires more faith than planting. I believe that because you don’t know how the seeds you planted are going to develop. You can’t see on the the outside how the seed is doing or if any growth is happening. You have to trust the process.

I don’t feel like I have been in a real season of growth in my life in a long time. I have had seasons of change but nothing to this extreme. I feel like I’m going through a metamorphosis. I feel like God is working on me about a lot of things. Sometimes I feel like it’s too much. Why do I have to go through all of this?

I feel like everything in my life is in transition and I am questioning a lot of things that I thought I knew for certain. I thought I was on a solid career path but where I see myself headed is different that what I originally envisioned. I am afraid. Am I ready for where God is leading me? I don’t know. I do take comfort in knowing that he won’t leave me on this journey and will give me what I need to be successful.

God is working on me to take me someplace but I don’t know where that is. I have to just walk beside him one step at a time. I am not going to run out in front of him or move to fast. I have done that before and the results were not great. I know I sound sad or down but I’m not. I’m restless. I sense something coming but I don’t know what is. I’m going to continue to keep the junk out so I can hear Gods voice and know it’s him. I’m going to pray and I’m going to wait. I’m going to continue to do meet God half way and I know he will make up the rest. I will have to just continue to be patient and trust the process.

Until next time,

Dominique

Being intentional

We have talked before about being intentional, about how we use our time, how we take care of ourselves, how we talk to our signifcant others. Intentionality is important. I set my phone on DO NOT DISTURB for the first time ever last Friday. I had never done that before. It was very freeing.

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While I was figuring out how to put my phone on do not distrub, I noticed how many notifications I get from different apps. I get 44 notifications a day from Google. 44! That is insane. McCaffe Security sends me 41 per day, about what, I have no idea.

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I didn’t even know that I could stop this. I never looked into, never even thought about.

I feel that’s how people go about their day. Just dealing with situations as they arise vs setting aside time to map out how they want their day to look. Are you living out of habit or intention?

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How do you start your day? Are you waking up everyday checking social media or the news? Are you asking God to lead you as you move through out the day? Are you praying or meditating?Are you eating breakfast? Drinking water?

I think a lot about balance and try to be intentional about the choices that I’m making but sometimes I don’t do it. Its harder to be intentional when you are tired, stressed, hungry or bored. What are your triggers? What keeps you from making the best choices all the time? Identifying what keeps you from making good choices can help you in the long run.

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I like this list because if you try you can do these things despite your circumstances. If wake up everyday and decide that nothing is going to disturb your peace you are going to make decisions to ensure that your peace isn’t disturbed. You can do that with anything in your life.

Intentional living is letting God know that you are ready and available for what he needs you to do. Being intentional helps you grow and not be stagnant. It helps you stop for a moment and reflect on how and why things are happening.

Being intentional is waking up everyday and deciding to live on purpose. Not just letting life happen to you but you impacting your life.What choices are you making today that your future self will thank you for?

Until next time,

Dominique

Its on your street

Have you ever heard this saying before? I have only heard it in the church setting, it essentially means when people around you are being blessed then your blessing can’t be too far away.

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Part of me believes that and part of me doesn’t. You all know I have known so many pregnant people in the last few years and I haven’t had a whiff of being pregnant. So I’m not sure. I was talking to someone at work and he reminded me of this concept.

He said I should be blessed to be around so many people who have the direct hand of God on their lives. I never thought about it that way. I guess I was looking at it from a victim perspective. Maybe not a victim but definitely selfish, like, look at all those people getting blessed and not me.

I know so many people, myself included who feel like when other people are being blessed that they need to “catch up”.

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How do you do that exactly? There really isn’t anyway you can do that. I used to think that whenever someone lapped me with a baby who hadn’t been married as long as I have, like sheesh I really need to get to work now, like that makes any difference. Not! Everything happens when it is supposed. We know that, its just easier said than done when you are in the midst.

I wrote those words a few years ago ironically a few months before I found out I was pregnant.

Now that I have had more time to think about it I do believe that its true. It’s God giving us another sign of Hope.

Its like he is saying hey I haven’t forgotten about you. I know its confusing to see people around you getting the things you want. Its confusing being happy for them and sad for yourself. You don’t have to stay in that space. You can look at it as God was just sending me a reminder that my turn is coming.

I’ve had that happen to me a few times. We have to trust God at his word. You’re waiting anyway so why not have a better mindset about it.

I know this way of thinking sounds bogus. Somebody else being blessed is supposed to make me happy when I’ve been waiting?

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It definitely works to shift your mindset. If you have to wait anyway, you might as well make the wait time as enjoyable as you can.

Hope

The word I am focusing on this week is hope. Hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

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I spent so much of my life waiting on things. I had to wait 7 years to get married. I had to wait 7 years to have a baby. I see now why I had to wait on those things but I certainly didn’t understand it at the time.

The bible talks a lot about hope. A few of my favorites:

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD.” Jeremiah 17:7

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

This Hebrew verse is one that I relied on a lot when I was trying to get pregnant. It talks about holding on to hope because he who promises is faithful.

I can remember month after month waiting on God and not knowing why it was taking so long. What did he want me to do? I would start on the downward spiral of losing hope. What if this never happens? Maybe I don’t deserve a baby.

Something would always stop me though. As bad as I felt I never stayed that far down for too long. I knew if I lost hope I would have nothing to cling to. There would be no where else to go.

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I felt like I couldn’t lose hope because I knew even though it had not happened yet that God could do it. I didn’t come by this feeling overnight. I did a lot of research. I asked God to take this desire away if he didn’t want me to have it. If it wasn’t in his will, then take it away because it hurt to bad to continue to be disappointed month after month.

Feeling like you are losing hope?

Ask God to grow your faith in the places of doubt. Have him show you in little ways how he has been faithful.

Make a list of all the things God has done for you this year.

Ask Him if your dream or desire needs to be tweaked.

Find verses about your situation in the bible to build your hope back up. There is nothing new in the world your situation is in there. I have written down so many verses about infertility and being a mother.

Michelle Obama Hope GIF by Obama
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Hope is powerful. It doesn’t have to be big. When you feel your hope fading just ask God to help you in your unbelief. He understands. He wants you to reach out. Anything is possible even if you only have a sliver of hope, hold on to it. Remember what God has done for you before and know that he can do even more than you could ever imagine.

barack obama hope GIF by Obama
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Resources

https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/hope/

Gratitude and Thankfulness

As everyone starts talking about Thanksgiving now that we are in November I feel like they use these two words thankful and grateful interchangeably. I used to do this as well. I even started a post about being thankful. In the midst of writing it though I came across this article that says that thankful is a feeling and gratitude is an action.

I never looked at those words that way before. I think it makes a lot of sense. Its cool to feel thankful, that’s inward. You feel all warm and fuzzy. Grateful is the outward expression of that thanks. It’s an action word.

How do we show thanks and appreciation to someone who does something nice for us? Get them a card, write them a note, take something off their to do list, tell other people how awesome they are or that great thing they did for you.

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How do we show God we’re thankful? I believe its the same way.

Praise. Thank God for all he has done. Listen to praise music, dance, sing, shout.

Share your testimony. Tell people about the awesome thing/(s) that God has done in your life. You don’t go through things just for yourself and when you come out on the other side and our blessed, let people know!

Give generously. I don’t always do this but I saw it online and thought it was really nice. If God blesses you with a check, spread the wealth! We don’t receive anything just for us. I’m sure it makes God smile to see you sharing what he blessed you with.

Serve. I also saw this online when researching. I think its fair. I know going out and sharing the gifts that God gave me, makes me feel good. I also like helping do His work, with the church, food pantry. Giving to others is a great way to show your gratitude for the things you have received.

Live right. Do the things that God asks you do, read your word, and spend time with Him.

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Verses

As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! Psalms 119:7 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.119.7.NLT

I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. Psalms 56:12 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.56.12.NLT

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Psalms 105:1 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.105.1.NLT


Resources

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/turning-gratitude-into-a-verb_b_7898888