Category Archives: writing

I’m back

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Hey friends! Its been a while. Much longer than I ever thought I would go without writing a post but a lot of life has happened since my last post 9 months ago…. I had a baby boy!

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For those of you that have been here from the beginning the fact that I can say I have two kids is simply amazing. Five years ago I didn’t think I could have one. God truly does twice the work in half the time.

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My new little boy has been such a pleasure. This year has been one of the hardest I’ve had in a long time. I lost not only the motivation to write but the inspiration.

What inspires me? Typically any and everything. Pop culture, sermons, podcasts, conversations with friends. None of it was doing it for me this time. It doesn’t help that church is still virtual even though its back in person.

I also lost my favorite uncle, and another one less than 6 months later, everyone in my family had Covid and this pregnancy while producing a healthy infant, was much harder this time. That’s just to name a few things that happened… It all got to be too much.

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I love writing. But its also work and I just didnt have it in me to do any more work. You know how you haven’t talked to someone in long time and its gets harder and harder to call them and eventually you’re like, well, out of sight, out of mind.

Thats how it was with writing, although it doesnt really work that way. Writing has always been in the background hovering, waiting patiently for me to get myself together.

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Well I’m back. I think I’ve been on break long enough. I need to do some more self care and writing is one of them. I hope I can persuade you to come back and keep reading.

You’ll definitely notice some changes, one thing I’ve learned while being away is the continued desire to be 100 all the time. I was worried before about how people would perceive what I had to say but now I dont really care anymore. Love me or leave me alone.

Until next time,

Dominique

200th post

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I have reached 200 posts! I am so excited. When I started this blog in 2017, I would have never thought I would reach 200 posts. I did. It was hard, scary, fun, nerve wrecking, I could go on and on but I loved it. Writing is something I always enjoyed since I was a kid but I didn’t know how I was going to pursue that as an adult. It was a dream, I put on a shelf. I am glad that I finally had the courage to pursue my dream and see where it could take me.

I have not had a year since this blog has been in existence that I have a post every month. I posted the second half of 2020. I only did a few posts in 2019 ( I was pregnant and had a baby). 2018 was my best year, 111 posts but I don’t think I posted every month. I don’t typically make resolutions but this year I will. Posting every month is a goal I am setting for myself this year.

I thank each and every one of you for your support. It makes me feel good that the words of my heart are able to impact so many people. People from all over the world read what I write and I am greatly honored by that.

I am excited to see where my writing will take me in 2021 especially because I am starting to take it more seriously.

I appreciate you all,

Dominique

WordPress Help 2.0

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I’m sorry I don’t have a post with fresh new content. WordPress updated its editing on how you post and I don’t know how to use it. I usually use WordPress on my phone, until the day of posting. I write the posts on my phone in my notes app and then I just share them to WordPress. I do the editing on my computer, adding the pictures, gifs, any final thoughts etc.

Think of how I was surprised I was to trying to edit a post this morning, like what is going on. I don’t even know how to add pictures anymore. (Update: I figured this out.)

I was going to try to push through, because you know…perfectionism. I’m not though.

I am going to admit, I don’t know how to do this and hopefully some of my fellow bloggers reading this will offer me some assistance.

I just figured out how to do this fancy quote thing. Definitely will be using ALL.OF.THE.TIME.

I still don’t know how to add links, but I’m figuring it out. I don’t have the time right now to play around with this but by next week, I will be back with fresh new content.

I appreciate your grace,

Dominique

PS- So after playing around with it more, I actually do like it, its just a lot and its going to take me some time to get used to all of it.

How are you using your time?

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For the month of July I have only been working 15 hours a week so you would thought I would have a lot more time to get things done. Not!

The days seem to go by so fast and I’m chasing down a burgeoning toddler so I really need to use my time wisely. I don’t however. I’m off today so you would think I would have been able to accomplish a lot. I didn’t.

When I wasn’t chasing my son down or keeping him from falling off something I essentially scrolled through Instagram. Not a good look.

I watched a video in my leadership class from this movie with Justin Timberlake in the movie In Time.  Here is a summary but watch the clip. The visual is crazy. Time is currency and he is trying to meet up with his mom. His mom doesn’t have enough time so they are within fingertips of each other but she doesn’t make it. She runs out of time.

The facilitator then asked us, what if the mom was your dream?

Shook! 

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So much time has been wasted on frivolous things, on things that don’t matter. When I think about how much writing and research I could get done when I’m just sitting watching the Disney Channel or scrolling through IG, I know I have work to do. I know we all can do better. Or if you already are using your time wisely, tell us how. I think it goes back to be intentional about keeping commitments to yourself. 

Having accountability partners.  A friend and I had this conversation a while ago about being more productive with free time and I told her how I’m going through all the screenshots on my phone and putting them in folders so I can find them quickly when I need them.

Great idea đź’ˇ. When is the last time I did that? We probably had that conversation a month ago or longer. I decided to do it today since I clearly was just sitting here. I didn’t like it much though. It was boring and tedious. I have over a 1000 screenshots on my phone. Its going to take me forever to sort through them all.

Is there an app for that?

UPDATE: I did discover that I can tag the pictures and put them in different categories then I can search when I need them later. Super helpful.

Use your time wisely. With us STILL being in at home its easy to just waste time because all the days seem the same. Don’t do it! Try anyway to push through. Time feels infinite but its not. We aren’t behind. However we could probably be doing more. 

Don’t just chase your dreams, do the work to catch them.

 

Going off the beaten path

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I went on a nature walk with some of my friends that quickly turned from just a walk into a lost in the woods adventure. It was very interesting because we moved off the trail very quickly and did so without hesitation. As we started to walk we ran into some really random things in the woods that we would not have seen otherwise. My friend said if we would have stayed on the path we would see things we would not have expected. When she said that to me, it really struck me. God used her to give a message to me and I don’t even think she realized it.

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How often do we want to follow the the path of least resistance? How often do we think we have to go the same way everyone else went to accomplish a goal? Getting to your dream might not be linear. It probably won’t be. There will be hills to climb and creeks to jump over. You may even get lost. How often when you are in pursuit of your passion do you lose sight of the vision? How often do you go back and check on the goal to insure your moving in the right direction?

I often get caught up in the  how to accomplish the goal that I miss the actually accomplishing of the goal. I get bogged down in the research and laying out the plan. How often do we get caught up in the work that we lose sight of where we’re going? 

We need to embrace the times when we go off course. I get so focused on things have to be done in this order or in this fashion, that I miss the inspiration. This post wouldn’t even exist if I had not have stopped working on another post to start it. I didn’t use to do that. If I sat down to write I had to finish that piece before I started working on another. I would never stop in the middle of something to write an idea down. 

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I’m beginning to shift my thinking and I am excited about where the road will take me. Don’t put yourself in a box as you are pursuing your passions. Remember that there is no one path to success. Someone told me that we should celebrate the steps, not just the destination. Its hard to do that when we are so focused on the goal. Being willing to go off course, could open you up to a world of possibilities. 

Now that quarantine is over

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I am in an interesting space as we come out of strict quarantine and summer is upon us. Summer definitely looks different with COVID-19 and protesting happening all across the country. I saw tons of memes on my social media about if you didn’t come out quarantine having accomplished something then you were just lazy. I just don’t believe that to be true. Thankfully someone agreed because they changed it. This one makes a lot more sense.

lacked discpline reddit

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If I am being honest. I have not completed a ton of projects in the 2 months that we were forced to stay. Posting again was one of the things I wanted to accomplish, so Yay me! for getting that done.

I just felt really stuck with not working in the traditional sense, and my baby and husband being here and the days rolling together.

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I had been feeling really off spiritually for a while, and that’s another thing that quarantine helped me get on track. I have attended more Sunday school and bible study than I ever would have if we were not in quarantine.

I felt bad though. I was spending too much time on Hulu, social media and reading books. I was having a mini vacation from the world and seeing other people have something tangible to show for their quarantine efforts really bothered me.

In my noon day bible study that I go to, she told us to go back and read your old journals to see where God has brought you from. It wasn’t really a pleasant experience, like I see God answering prayers but I also see a lot of heartache. I also decided to go back and read some of my old blog posts. There are over a 100 so it was more a skim, but I came across this one. Its one of the first posts I did and it talks about the name I picked for the blog. That was three years ago and I am still having this same problem. I talk about being stuck in research mode instead of just taking the leap and doing the thing you said you were going to do.

I sat down about 6 weeks ago and laid out my plan of my hearts desires. I asked God to be with me in those plans because there a lot of things my heart desires. After I wrote them down and prayed some more I put dates that I wanted to accomplish them. I continued to pray about those things in my quiet time until my Pastor preached a sermon on fear. Click the link. It’s really good you should watch it. It had a lot of great points but the one that stuck with me is we need to quit praying and move! I felt like God had slapped me, like, Hey, I’m talking to you! All this research and worrying, you are not going to get anything done. Just do it!

Then I had a conversation with my friends one Sunday after a nature walk (more on that in a later post) about pursing your passions and how much people pay for content, how to get things done and my mind was blown. I left so inspired! So ready to hit the ground running.

My next few posts will be about pursuing your passions and how to ensure you accomplish the goals you set. Stay tuned!

p.s-COVID-19 is still a thing, wear a mask.

 

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This may have been in March but its still relevant. 

10 things I’ve learned since becoming a mother

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1. Empathy- no one helps. People literally watch you struggle. I never noticed this before. Being a mom has shown me how to express feelings outside of myself and better understand other people’s emotions.

2. Patience- with myself, family, friends, the baby, its crazy. Patience was a big lesson I needed to learn. If I would have become a mother earlier in my life I wouldn’t have gained this skill set. Listening to babies cry or throw their bottle at you, patience is what you need.

3. Dont compare- to my old self, to my husband, to other moms, nobody. I thought the biggest comparison would be to other moms but I was definitely wrong on that. More on this in another post.

4. Be humble. Motherhood is nothing like I expected. I didnt have a ton of expectations but what I thought I knew I definitely was wrong. You can’t find all the answers on Google. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and judge what you would do when it isn’t your kid but having a kid of your own changes things.

5. I can do more on less sleep than I thought. So little sleep. Its insane. I used to love taking a nap but now I just do without. Nap when the baby naps is really a lie. Lol

6. It’s ok to say I dont know what I’m doing or admit I messed up. Once I started talking to people about my feelings I realised I wasn’t the only person going through that or thought that way. Moms are expected to have all the answers and that’s just not the case. Lots of things are intuitive but not everything and it was nice to admit that.

7. I have to be intentional about my self care. Writing, alone time, spending time with my friends, all of it has to be intentional or it won’t happen. I hate to admit but I’m better about spending time with my friends than with myself sometimes.

8. Water truly does a body good. I have heard this but I never tested it out myself until I was pregnant and after. The rumours are true. I had to drink it when I was pregnant and the results were great. I’m trying to get back to that space.

9. I will receive tons of unsolicited advice and opinions. I most often bite my tongue. Ive gotten much better about this than when he was first born. People are just trying to help. Their intentions are good. More on this in another post.

10. Everything has changed. I am ok with that. I have been trying so hard to be the person I was before but that girl is gone. A new better person is emerging.

I am stronger than I think I am.

My son just turned one. The hardest thing to put into practice is the self care. Its so easy to put yourself on the back burner when you have a kid.

I can expand on just about everything on this list. So much of this can be unpacked. I will in the upcoming months.

Black lives matter

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O our God, won’t you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help.” 2 Chronicles 20:12 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/2ch.20.12.NLT When I read this verse I immediately thought of Black Lives Matter. I don’t typically get political or overly racial because I want everyone to feel comfortable when they come to my page. The Lord doesn’t see color but we all do. I am not trying to offend anyone and if you are offended you should ask yourself why. Black people are up against a powerful army that is steadily killing us and it is racism. As protests break out across the country we need everyone to join together to fight for justice. We dont all need to protest but we all can do something.

The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective, but as my pastor says put feet on those prayers. Donations are an excellent way to assist without having to be on the front lines.


As all this civil unrest happens ask yourself what can I do? What role do I play as history is being made? What skills has God placed in me that I can use for the betterment of others?

Talk to your friends, family and church members about racism. People try to hide their racism behind biblical rhetoric. Don’t let them. Don’t let people tell you they are color blind. That’s not good either! There is nothing wrong with seeing color, just respect people’s differences. Its ok for us to be different. God made each of us unique.

We each need to ask God how can we contribute to making the world a better. How are you helping in your community? At your church? At your job? Racial conversations can be uncomfortable but we are called by God to be better, to be examples, to be leaders. You may be the only example that someone sees. Don’t feel discouraged if you dont think your message was recieved. We are in the seed planting business, God reaps the harvest. In other words we are not responsible for the consequences only to give the information. So I implore you…

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Romans 12:9 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/rom.12.9.NLT

Action steps and resources

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/color-blindness-is-counterproductive/405037/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/support-the-black-lives-matter-movement

https://www.ted.com/playlists/250/talks_to_help_you_understand_r?utm_source=instagram&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=social&utm_term=social-justice&utm_content=later-7575732

M.I.A

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I know I have been missing in action for a few weeks now. So many excited things have happened and I can’t wait to tell you all about them. I know I said I wouldn’t go a week without posting but it happened.

I am sorry. Although I don’t have any regrets. Sometimes I have to live life and not just write about it. Its been a good summer but, its about over so time to get back on the normal routine. Plus writing everyday for 31 days is a lot and I needed a break. lol. Don’t worry, come September I will be back on my 3 day a week schedule.

New followers don’t leave. I appreciate you coming. Check out some archives, I have over 100 posts!

Did you ever feel like you needed to take a break after a massive writing project?

p.s- Did WordPress do some updates? I don’t think I like them…

 

Where to next

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Finishing a challenge , it makes it hard to see whats next. I really busted my hump to make sure I finished that challenge. I wanted to make sure each post was well written. Each one was not my best post, but I did try and I am proud of myself.

It feels weird to not number my post anymore, lol.

Some one asked me what I was going to do next and its a good question. I have a personal writing goal but I don’t know if I am going to share that one the blog. I want to write 100 pages by December 26. Part of that, is writing like no one will read it to give me the courage to actually finish it. So I don’t know if you all will get to read it or not. I will see once its done.  I will do a few periodic check ins just to keep myself accountable and monitor my progress.

I need a blog goal now. I am cooking a few things up in my mind but nothing solid yet.  I am also going to take a class from Blogging University and work on some of my old posts. Any suggestions? I am looking for ways to grow my writing and my blog so any ideas would be great.

Heres to the rest of the year!

Dominique