New kid on the block

I have been working in the same job for the last 4 years. I am a college counselor. I love my job and am I good at it. I recently made a move to a new school this year and it completely shook my confidence.

I have only been there a month but I have learned a lot of lessons in the last 30 days.

1. I don’t have anything to prove. I am good at my job and I don’t have to do it the same way the previous person did.
2. I can not be everything for everybody. I was literally running myself ragged trying to make every meeting, do every presentation, sometimes trying to be two places at once. It was unnecessary. I wasn’t giving anything 100% because I was trying to do too much.
3. I can make mistakes. I am not perfect and that is ok. Nobody is putting any pressure on me but me. I just need to relax and do what I’m good at.
4. Trust is a very interesting thing. I’m going to talk more about this in a later post. I don’t really know the team I am working with that well yet. I am used to being excluded from things and being left off emails so I have been just showing up places. I don’t need to, my counterpart hasn’t left me off anything. He hasn’t done anything for me not to trust him.

Being a new person is not easy for me, nor is change. When I first started it was hard. I was lonely and nervous and unsure of myself. 30 days later I feel more relaxed. I have made some friends and I am learning the lay of the land. This change is exactly what I didn’t know I needed. I am so glad that I didn’t block my blessing by being afraid.

Do you Really want his will?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (added emphasis)
Proverbs 3:5‭-‬6 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/pro.3.5-6.NLT

It’s easy to say I want God’s will for my life. I want whatever blessings he is willing to give me. It sounds good. Are you ready to put in the work that is required to do that? Are you ready for the sacrifices that it will take to have Gods will? I have been praying about career stuff and different leadership opportunities at church and I see God moving a little bit, which is exciting. However, am I really ready? God wants more for me than I could ever imagine, but is it too much? I know to have God’s will I would have to give up the way I do things, look at things, etc, a lot would have to change.

Sometimes I think we pray in a vacuum. We ask God for things and because it took longer than we anticipated for a response we move on from that prayer but God brings it back full circle. Then it feels like it all happened out of nowhere. It didn’t happen out of nowhere. You planted those seeds 6 months, 1 years, 2 years ago, 5 years ago.

Have you been preparing for what you been praying for? Sometimes I do but sometimes I don’t. One of my favorite sayings is if you stay ready you won’t have to get ready. God always hears our prayers and won’t leave them unanswered. His timing is not ours. My pastor said today at church when you pray that you are either waiting on God or God is waiting on you. You are waiting on God if you know there are things you need to do but haven’t gotten them done yet. You are waiting on God if you did everything and your prayer still hasn’t been answered.  Make sure when you pray you are ready for the answer when it comes and ready to do whatever work it takes to accomplish the goal.

Inefficient

Inefficient-not achieving maximum productivity; wasting or failing to make the best use of time or resources.

Often times I think about the dreams and goals that I have and want to accomplish and I feel  inefficient. I certainly don’t feel like I am making the best use of my time or resources. I have two degrees that I do not really use and I’m starting to to get the itch that I want to do something else. Am I qualified?  Sometimes I think so, but other days not so much. I am debating on if I want to get an Ed.d, which is a doctorate in education because that is what I have been doing for the last 10+ years but I don’t know. I know to make any real money or move up, a terminal degree would be nice but I want a job that is bigger than money. Do I want to do something totally different? I didn’t get into my field to make a lot of money but I want to be comfortable. I don’t want to put all the financial heavy lifting to my husband. I have two degrees, I want to pull my own weight.

When I got my master’s there wasn’t a lot of asking God or contemplating. I did a little research, asked the higher ups around me and did it. I want to put a little more thought and time into my choice this time around. I don’t think having more formal education is what makes feel inefficient. I have to remind myself that his grace is sufficient. He is strong when I am weak.

his-grace-is-sufficient-erica-hanel

I probably feel this way because what I really want to do I have no formal training at all. I want to be a writer. I want to write books that will be read all over the world and be referenced for years to come. I can’t really imagine that happening in my wildest dreams. Why not? I haven’t even tried yet and I am already talking myself out of it. Nobody can make me feel inefficient but me. I know it won’t be easy but if I take one step, God will take two. I was not made to be inefficient or mediocre. I was created for his purpose. There is something inside of me that is waiting to be revealed and the only person that can stop me from reaching my full potential is me.