having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order
(of a person) having given up all hope; despairing.
I used to think I was broken using both definitions. That I was living a lie, that I was going out in the world and acting like everything was ok when it wasn’t. I felt like something inside of me was broken and could not be fixed. I had a hole in my heart that was irreparable. I tried a lot of this but nothing could fill it, not partying, not work, not my friends, not my husband, everything I was trying to do wasn’t working.
So in my last resort I turned to God. I’m glad I did. I learned I’m not broken. God made me this way. He has plans for me that are good. I didn’t always believe that or understand but I stayed in the word. It made a huge difference on my outlook in life. There is beauty in my brokenness. I wouldn’t have grown in my relationship with God if I wasn’t broken. Everyday is practice in reminding myself that I have to meet no one expectations but my own.
If you feel broken just know you don’t have to stay that way. There is a way out. You won’t be able to do it on your own, not long lasting. Getting out of your head and closer to God is the only long term solution and potentially seeing a therapist.
Updated: since I wrote the above words Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have both committed suicide. This has sparked debate about what role does prayer and God specifically play in mental health. I think that God is our first resource in working on our mental health. Getting into your bible, prayer, fasting, meditating, it’s all an important part of the healing process. We can’t do it on our own and believing you can may be a fatal mistake. You need tools to overcome things you have been through. Seek help if you need it.
Fret-be constantly or visibly worried or anxious.
Evildoers is harsher than what I’m thinking however, I’m not excluding anyone. People who cut corners, people who step on other people to get to the top, people who don’t geniuninely deserve the good things they are getting. I am talking about them. Its hard to watch people who just skate by in life get things when you work super hard and don’t get anything. It just doesn’t seem fair.
Looking on social media, you see people get famous for doing nothing, while you have been working your tail off and nobody know’s your name. Don’t feel discouraged. It won’t last though. When you rise fast, sometimes you crash fast as well.
Roots have to be established and when things happen too quickly you can’t set down any roots. Overcoming adversity is what helps you when trouble comes. Trouble will come and those people who are winning won’t be prepared.
God is allowing to them prosper for a little while but it won’t last. Continue to work hard. Hard work will last, not scheming and getting over,so don’t get discouraged.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (added emphasis)
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
It’s easy to say I want God’s will for my life. I want whatever blessings he is willing to give me. It sounds good. Are you ready to put in the work that is required to do that? Are you ready for the sacrifices that it will take to have Gods will? I have been praying about career stuff and different leadership opportunities at church and I see God moving a little bit, which is exciting. However, am I really ready? God wants more for me than I could ever imagine, but is it too much? I know to have God’s will I would have to give up the way I do things, look at things, etc, a lot would have to change.
Sometimes I think we pray in a vacuum. We ask God for things and because it took longer than we anticipated for a response we move on from that prayer but God brings it back full circle. Then it feels like it all happened out of nowhere. It didn’t happen out of nowhere. You planted those seeds 6 months, 1 years, 2 years ago, 5 years ago.
Have you been preparing for what you been praying for? Sometimes I do but sometimes I don’t. One of my favorite sayings is if you stay ready you won’t have to get ready. God always hears our prayers and won’t leave them unanswered. His timing is not ours. My pastor said today at church when you pray that you are either waiting on God or God is waiting on you. You are waiting on God if you know there are things you need to do but haven’t gotten them done yet. You are waiting on God if you did everything and your prayer still hasn’t been answered. Make sure when you pray you are ready for the answer when it comes and ready to do whatever work it takes to accomplish the goal.