If you have been paying attention you would have noticed that I haven’t been doing my post on Fridays in quite a while. I used to feel very guilty about that. I don’t anymore. Times change and that isn’t a realistic goal right now. I still want to make sure I post every month. That’s not something I have accomplished yet in my years of blogging. We are almost half way through the year and I have continued to meet that goal so I feel good about that.
I have been focusing a lot on my mental health over the last year. It has been good. I have made a lot of strides. However as we have often talked about growth is not a straight line and it certainly doesn’t happen on our own time. Over the past few months, I feel like everything I have learned has been put to the test and I can’t say I necessarily passed each test with flying colors.
I will say that I have tried my best. I do recognize that I need to give myself grace. I need to have patience with my own process. Its hard though. My old perfectionist ways just refuse to die!
I had a lot of mental health stuff I wanted to discuss in April but it didn’t really happen. That’s ok. May is mental health awareness month so I will do it now.
It was hard for me to talk about mental health when I know I was sometimes running to my old coping mechanisms. There is space for that though. April was a good reminder that I am not a constant self improvement project. I don’t have to keep striving to the next thing. I can sit in this space and be satisfied with where I am right now.
I am enough, just because, I don’t have to be producing anything, I can just be.
I just want to remind you that, while you are growing and evolving, take time to celebrate that you aren’t what you used to be. Remember that God put everything inside you of that you need to be the best version of you. You are just peeling back the layers so it can be released. You are just fertilizing the soil so the seed inside of you can blossom.
I have been working in the same job for the last 4 years. I am a college counselor. I love my job and am I good at it. I recently made a move to a new school this year and it completely shook my confidence.
I have only been there a month but I have learned a lot of lessons in the last 30 days.
1. I don’t have anything to prove. I am good at my job and I don’t have to do it the same way the previous person did.
2. I can not be everything for everybody. I was literally running myself ragged trying to make every meeting, do every presentation, sometimes trying to be two places at once. It was unnecessary. I wasn’t giving anything 100% because I was trying to do too much.
3. I can make mistakes. I am not perfect and that is ok. Nobody is putting any pressure on me but me. I just need to relax and do what I’m good at.
4. Trust is a very interesting thing. I’m going to talk more about this in a later post. I don’t really know the team I am working with that well yet. I am used to being excluded from things and being left off emails so I have been just showing up places. I don’t need to, my counterpart hasn’t left me off anything. He hasn’t done anything for me not to trust him.
Being a new person is not easy for me, nor is change. When I first started it was hard. I was lonely and nervous and unsure of myself. 30 days later I feel more relaxed. I have made some friends and I am learning the lay of the land. This change is exactly what I didn’t know I needed. I am so glad that I didn’t block my blessing by being afraid.
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
Jeremiah 31:25 NIV
My husband tore his Achilles a few weeks ago. It has turned our lives upside down. We had several things planned for this month that we weren’t able to do. I never realized how many things he does until he wasn’t able to do them anymore. Being nurse for a grown man is not easy or fun. A few nights after the surgery in which my husband can’t sleep because he is in pain which means I can’t sleep. Plus I’m getting up every 30 minutes to change his ice pack. It was a stressful night to say the least.
I open my bibleapp and this is the verse that comes up. How timely! The Lord knew how tired I was and how weary I was feeling.
In reading this verse God was letting me know that I wasn’t alone. He is always there to give encouragement. He won’t ever leave me to figure things out on my own. He is a burden bearer. Check this verse out in different translations. I think I like the ERV ( easy to read version) best, I will give rest and strength to those who are weak and tired.”
That’s exactly what I was. You may be there too or know someone that needs encouragement. Remember that God can handle it. You may not understand why you are in the situation you are in. I certainly don’t understand why my husband will be laid up for 3 months. I do know that I’m not alone in dealing with this situation and that whenever I need a boost that God got me. Please remember he has you too!