Tag Archives: faith based bloggers

Stress and Worry

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Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This verse is about your thought life. What dominates your thoughts , what controls your mind. I also read this verse and thought sinful things Paul most be talking about bad stuff, you know the 10 commandment type stuff. However reading it again I don’t think that’s true. The definition of sin means to miss the mark. That sounds ambiguous but if Jesus is our mark anything we do that takes us away from that target is sin.

I’m talking about the sins of worry and stress. If you are constantly worried and stressed you are not pleasing God. God tells us over and over give our worries to him.

I’ve let my sinful nature take over before. Constantly worried about a project at work. When I do that I take my eyes off God and put them on my problem. It was all I would talk about, think about. I read my Bible but I wasn’t focused. My stomach hurt, I was mean and cranky. I might not have been physically dying but I was spiritually dying. I didn’t have much of a life because I was focused on this one thing.

Once I decided to take my eyes off my problem and back on God I was given some help and found a solution. I let the spirit lead me instead of my stress and I did feel peace but it was roller coaster trying to get there. Choose prayer first.

Make a list of what you’re worried about this week big or small and ask God to help you with these problems. Also talk to a trusted friend or prayer partner. They may be able to help you with your problem. Holding it in, is not helping you.

Until next time,

Dominique

New mercies

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”Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There’s are a few different versions of this verse but I like this one because it says we are not consumed because his compassion’s never fail.

Consume in the Hebrew means devour. What is devouring you right now? Is it work? Is it home? Family? Friendships? Anxiety? Stress?

Because God is compassionate nothing can overtake us or devour us. One bad day doesn’t make a bad week. One bad conversation doesn’t make for a bad relationship. Because of his new mercies we can begin each new day with fresh perspective. I know it can be hard to get over a hurt and keep replaying it in your mind but you don’t have to.
Each day is a new opportunity to begin again.
God is not walking around holding on to that hurt, anger, sadness and we don’t have to either.

I’m not saying if someone hurt you it’s instant relief but remembering that you can start the next interaction fresh may be helpful to you.

New mercies count for everything not just for days but bad conversations, hurt feelings, bad choices, regrets, etc

Before you decide to hold on to bad feelings, bad decisions, regret, guilt, grudges, etc remember that Gods

mercies are new every morning.

Are you holding on to something and you need to let go?

Prayer: Father help us not hold on to things we don’t need to. You say give you our burdens and you will give us rest. Thank you that we don’t have to hold on to anything but you. Thank you we are not devoured or consumed and that we have the ability to start fresh.

Internal Enemies

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”My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me.“
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Your enemies are doing their best right now to destroy you but don’t let them. Don’t let the enemy doubt make you forget what God can do. Don’t let the enemy fear make you forget that you can do anything with Christ Jesus. Don’t let the enemy of overwhelmed make you forget that while things and obligations may be surrounding you, you can overcome them all by the authority of the Lord. Don’t let the enemy of insecurity make you forget that you were made in Gods image so you are mighty and strong.

God wants us to be successful. I recently read in Dr. Phillips book, Tending the Garden Within, to ask God for what we needed. I challenge you to do that now. I asked God for a win and he gave me one! Just yesterday. He is always listening, always ready to step in, always willing to help. I know that doesn’t immediately pay a light bill or lessen your to do list but it’s a reminder that he has our back. We are down but not destroyed.

Read all of Psalm 118 if you have time, there is some good stuff in there..

Prayer: Father, thank you for the reminder that you have our back and you will meet our needs. Thank that if you are for us who can be against us. Nothing can stop what you put in motion, not even us. Delay is not denial as everything is for our good. I pray we all can sit down with you and tell you what we need. Thank you for always listening, for being emphatic, for being our friend. Thank you for the wins that are on the way. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Independence Day

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It’s July 4th. That is Independence Day in America. Freedom from Great Britain in 1776. Most people didn’t get freedom that day but that isn’t what this post is about.

How free are you? Truly. What shackles are holding you back from being the person God meant you to be? Are you free to be the best version of yourself?

Freedom isn’t just about political independence or the absence of physical chains. It’s also about mental, emotional, and spiritual liberation. Think about the limitations you’ve internalized. Are there fears or doubts that keep you from pursuing your passions? Do you feel confined by others’ expectations, or trapped in a routine that doesn’t fulfill you?

True freedom means breaking those chains. It’s about having the courage to follow your heart, to live authentically, and to strive for personal growth. It’s about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and believing in your capacity for change and improvement. It’s about embracing your unique journey and the person you are becoming.

So, on this day of independence, reflect on your own journey to freedom. Identify what holds you back and take the first steps toward liberation. Surround yourself with people who support your growth, seek opportunities that align with your true self, and remember that freedom is a state of mind as much as a state of being.

As you celebrate today, think about how you can make every day a celebration of your own independence and growth. Break free from the shackles within and step boldly into the life you are meant to live.

Focus on your strengths

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“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I asked God to do this for me as I was working through and trying to find peace. I focus so heavy on fixing my weaknesses and wanting to be better. If I can work on those then I will be better. That isn’t true though and it wasn’t what God wanted me to do. When I asked him to point out anything in me that offends him.
He said: why do you keep trying to improve on the model that I made?

It’s a fair question and one I hadn’t considered before. If I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Why do I need to fix myself?  There isn’t anything wrong with me. God gave me this verse and it makes a lot of sense.

You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭17‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I like it. From this point forward I’m going to work on building my strengths instead of fixing my weaknesses. As I build on my strengths my weaknesses will have no choice but to get better. Plus focusing on strengths lead with compassion and I don’t always do that with myself. If God can find nothing wrong with me who am I to tell him he’s wrong.

List 3 things you do well. How can you build on those strengths?

Prayer: Father as we work to get better, help us change our mindset. Continue to renew our minds as we fight not to believe the devils lies. Remind us we were made in your image and you make no mistakes. You work everything out for our good because we believe in you. Thank you for clarity and new perspectives. In Jesus name. Amen.

When it rains it pours

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What do you do when it feels like you can’t catch a break? I feel like that right now. My older son just got out of the hospital a month a go. He’s been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that he will fight the rest of his life. He is 3 years old. It doesn’t seem fair that he should have to deal with this at such a young age. But he does.

The Word says God doesn’t make mistakes but it sure does feel like it sometimes. God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. Psalms 18:30 NLT

So what do you when it feels like you take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back?

Pray for strength.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NLT

Remember Gods promises.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Reach out to your community for support.

I have been working really hard on not telling people “I am fine”. I am not. Trying to hold it all together is hard and isn’t getting me anything. I am trying to use my village as much as I can.

Continue your self care.

When you become a caregiver its easy to put yourself last. As a mom, its something I was already used to doing. It has only gotten worse, so I am trying to carve out little sections of time for myself. This is still a work in progress, lol.

Don’t stop praying and talking to God.

This has probably been the hardest of them. I love God but I don’t know if I like him very much right now. I am trying to maintain the relationship though. I know that God will give me strength to get through these hard times.

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 1 Chronicles 16:11 NLT

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalms 73:26 NLT

I hope this helps you when you hit a rough times. Its a good reminder for me. I solicit your prayers as well, because we have a long way to go.

Until next time,

Dominique

Doing the work

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We talked before about doing the work and being intentional. What is doing the work?

I would say doing the work is being intentional about being the best version of yourself everyday. Its hard to do.

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Its hard to decide I’m going to make the best choice for me, not the choice that is easiest or the most comfortable. It is deciding that I am going to make decisions today that my future self will thank me for.

It’s planting seeds now that your future self with harvest later.

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I didn’t know I needed to do any work for a long time. We spend a lot of time in life just moving. Completing tasks, going to work, coming home, having a little fun, repeat. Covid is what made me stop and try to evaluate how I was feeling. I knew something was off but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

I decided to go see a therapist that helped me tremendously. Therapy is not for everyone, but it can be extremely helpful in assisting you in processing your stuff.

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Even though therapy is more common for people to talk about I still felt embarrassed to tell people I went to see one. I don’t see her anymore. I went every week starting last August until January. That was intense.

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I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that for everyone but I needed to get my moneys worth. I was going through Betterhelp and they charge you monthly, and it wasn’t cheap. The gains I got from it were priceless though. I learned how to set boundaries, how to put myself first, how to feel my feelings, how to say no, how not to take responsibility for other people’s choices or try to save folks.

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Stuffing your feelings or numbing yourself is easy. That doesn’t require anything of you. Doing the work, is not easy or for the faint of heart. When I started to do the work, I started noticing more work I needed to do. That wasn’t fun. I also had to remind myself to give myself, grace. I don’t have to have it all figured out.

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Its a process. I know I wanted to work on my baggage so I wouldn’t pass those issues down to my kid. I knew healing from old hurts would make me a better wife, better mom, better leader.

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I knew I wasn’t going to be able to be be the best version of myself if I didn’t open my eyes to what was going on inside of me. Its easier to not notice what is going on in you and just keep pushing. However you owe it to yourself to recognize what is going on and do the work to make it better.

We’ll talk next time about things that keep you from seeing what’s going on.

Until next time,

Dominique

Happy Thanksgiving

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We talked about being grateful earlier in the month and here is the big day to focus on what you are thankful for.

I challenge you to think of three things a day you are thankful for next month. We shouldn’t only focus on our thanks in November or on Thanksgiving but really all year round. I know things are hard as we are into our 8 month dealing with Covid here in the US. If you were like me, you never would have thought we would be going into the end of the year dealing with this with no end in sight.

Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Too often we focus on what do not have, instead of all the things we do have. This Thanksgiving may not be like it was last year, but you are here to celebrate. That counts for something.

Three things I am thankful for today:
1. I still have a job

2. I was able to travel despite most things being shut down

3. No one in my immediate circle of family and friends have Covid.

15 Bible Verses on Thankfulness

Constructive criticism

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If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.
Proverbs 15:31 NLT

This is hard for me. I do it well in my work life but not in my personal life. I’m my own worst critic, so its hard to hear myself be criticized by other people. Often times they are just pointing out things that I already know I need to work on. I’m equal opportunity though. I don’t typically provide people with unsolicited constructive feedback either. I’ve always had a policy where I don’t say anything to people that I don’t want said to me. I’ve never seen this verse in the bible before. Reading it in a different translation definitely opened my eyes.

10 Funny Memes About How You Can GTFO With That Unsolicited Parenting Advice

We talked about self control with not engaging in conversations that aren’t healthy, however constructive feedback can be helpful.

The words of the wise are like cattle prods—painful but helpful. Their collected sayings are like a nail-studded stick with which a shepherd drives the sheep.
Ecclesiastes 12:11 NLT

I think if nothing else the above verse reminds me that constructive feedback is there to make me better. The people around me love and only want to see me at my best. So if someone is at my house and comments on what my son is wearing or eating, or how clean my house is, its because they are really trying to be helpful. Their delivery or timing may not be great but that shouldn’t impact how I respond to them.

crazy eyes advice GIF

Or if I respond at all. I can simply say thank you, I will take that into consideration.

Quotes about Giving unsolicited advice (23 quotes)

This meme was another great reminder. People just want to be helpful. I don’t have to take it as an attack on my parenting or wife skills. Maybe they could be trying to offer me words they wished someone would have said to them. The biggest takeaway is to remember that people intentions are good. Impact matters of course but I can show some grace as well.

Self control

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But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22‭-‬23 NLT

The word I am focusing on this week is self control. As we are getting close to holiday season it made sense for me to focus on self control. The biggest area I need to focus on is my mouth, not just what I put into it but what comes out of it. The delicious food is going to be tempting me as well as the conversations that are being had. Being around family can make self control difficult, sometimes being around the people we love can get under our skin and make us eat or say things we would not normally eat or say.

How is your self control? I am not really an impulsive person so I didn’t think I had a self control issue. As I am trying to eat healthy and truly make a lifestyle change I noticed my self control needs some work. Portion control for me is a definitely a problem. Now I am going to give myself a little slack on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I will feel better about that slack though if I tighten up my eating habits on a regular basis. I certainly don’t follow the national guidelines.

Healthy Eating Plate

I heap food on my plate and almost always go back for seconds unless its something healthy. I thoroughly enjoy the taste of food and have a hard time telling myself no when it comes to food. They don’t call it comfort food for no reason. I spend more money on food then I do on most things. I am not sure why that is. It’s like a little crack and once I open up the floodgates I can’t stop.

fried chicken eating GIF
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Self control with my mouth isn’t much better. Having to always be right is a problem as well as getting the last word. I have gotten better but it is still a problem. Why do I have to be right all the time? I honestly don’t know. It is so hard to hear somebody make a blanket statement and not respond to it. Like, all men do (insert whatever stereotype you want) and it makes me so mad. Or hear someone say something I don’t agree with in general. Or when someone says something I know is not right. Do I have to correct them? What do I get out of these debates? Nothing. What difference does it make what they think? In the grand scheme of things, none. I am probably not going to change their minds and it’s only going to make me upset.

Basketball Wives Bbw GIF by VH1
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Oddly enough, controlling what comes out of my mouth is easier for me than what goes into it. I am only trying to engage in conversations that help me grow, make me think differently, and change my thought process. I need to have this same thought process about food. Its hard though because food is SO good. If I want to be the best version of myself, I know I need to work on it. My next goal is consistent exercise. We’ll work on that in 2021, lol.