Tag Archives: black Christian blogger

Stress and Worry

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Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This verse is about your thought life. What dominates your thoughts , what controls your mind. I also read this verse and thought sinful things Paul most be talking about bad stuff, you know the 10 commandment type stuff. However reading it again I don’t think that’s true. The definition of sin means to miss the mark. That sounds ambiguous but if Jesus is our mark anything we do that takes us away from that target is sin.

I’m talking about the sins of worry and stress. If you are constantly worried and stressed you are not pleasing God. God tells us over and over give our worries to him.

I’ve let my sinful nature take over before. Constantly worried about a project at work. When I do that I take my eyes off God and put them on my problem. It was all I would talk about, think about. I read my Bible but I wasn’t focused. My stomach hurt, I was mean and cranky. I might not have been physically dying but I was spiritually dying. I didn’t have much of a life because I was focused on this one thing.

Once I decided to take my eyes off my problem and back on God I was given some help and found a solution. I let the spirit lead me instead of my stress and I did feel peace but it was roller coaster trying to get there. Choose prayer first.

Make a list of what you’re worried about this week big or small and ask God to help you with these problems. Also talk to a trusted friend or prayer partner. They may be able to help you with your problem. Holding it in, is not helping you.

Until next time,

Dominique

New mercies

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”Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There’s are a few different versions of this verse but I like this one because it says we are not consumed because his compassion’s never fail.

Consume in the Hebrew means devour. What is devouring you right now? Is it work? Is it home? Family? Friendships? Anxiety? Stress?

Because God is compassionate nothing can overtake us or devour us. One bad day doesn’t make a bad week. One bad conversation doesn’t make for a bad relationship. Because of his new mercies we can begin each new day with fresh perspective. I know it can be hard to get over a hurt and keep replaying it in your mind but you don’t have to.
Each day is a new opportunity to begin again.
God is not walking around holding on to that hurt, anger, sadness and we don’t have to either.

I’m not saying if someone hurt you it’s instant relief but remembering that you can start the next interaction fresh may be helpful to you.

New mercies count for everything not just for days but bad conversations, hurt feelings, bad choices, regrets, etc

Before you decide to hold on to bad feelings, bad decisions, regret, guilt, grudges, etc remember that Gods

mercies are new every morning.

Are you holding on to something and you need to let go?

Prayer: Father help us not hold on to things we don’t need to. You say give you our burdens and you will give us rest. Thank you that we don’t have to hold on to anything but you. Thank you we are not devoured or consumed and that we have the ability to start fresh.

Internal Enemies

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”My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me.“
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Your enemies are doing their best right now to destroy you but don’t let them. Don’t let the enemy doubt make you forget what God can do. Don’t let the enemy fear make you forget that you can do anything with Christ Jesus. Don’t let the enemy of overwhelmed make you forget that while things and obligations may be surrounding you, you can overcome them all by the authority of the Lord. Don’t let the enemy of insecurity make you forget that you were made in Gods image so you are mighty and strong.

God wants us to be successful. I recently read in Dr. Phillips book, Tending the Garden Within, to ask God for what we needed. I challenge you to do that now. I asked God for a win and he gave me one! Just yesterday. He is always listening, always ready to step in, always willing to help. I know that doesn’t immediately pay a light bill or lessen your to do list but it’s a reminder that he has our back. We are down but not destroyed.

Read all of Psalm 118 if you have time, there is some good stuff in there..

Prayer: Father, thank you for the reminder that you have our back and you will meet our needs. Thank that if you are for us who can be against us. Nothing can stop what you put in motion, not even us. Delay is not denial as everything is for our good. I pray we all can sit down with you and tell you what we need. Thank you for always listening, for being emphatic, for being our friend. Thank you for the wins that are on the way. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Independence Day

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It’s July 4th. That is Independence Day in America. Freedom from Great Britain in 1776. Most people didn’t get freedom that day but that isn’t what this post is about.

How free are you? Truly. What shackles are holding you back from being the person God meant you to be? Are you free to be the best version of yourself?

Freedom isn’t just about political independence or the absence of physical chains. It’s also about mental, emotional, and spiritual liberation. Think about the limitations you’ve internalized. Are there fears or doubts that keep you from pursuing your passions? Do you feel confined by others’ expectations, or trapped in a routine that doesn’t fulfill you?

True freedom means breaking those chains. It’s about having the courage to follow your heart, to live authentically, and to strive for personal growth. It’s about forgiving yourself for past mistakes and believing in your capacity for change and improvement. It’s about embracing your unique journey and the person you are becoming.

So, on this day of independence, reflect on your own journey to freedom. Identify what holds you back and take the first steps toward liberation. Surround yourself with people who support your growth, seek opportunities that align with your true self, and remember that freedom is a state of mind as much as a state of being.

As you celebrate today, think about how you can make every day a celebration of your own independence and growth. Break free from the shackles within and step boldly into the life you are meant to live.

Talking about Joy

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The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”

Psalms 28:7 NLT

What brings you joy? What gives you strength? In what do you put your trust?

As we talk about joy this week I want you to think about these questions. Write down 50 things that bring you joy, big or small. A few of mine are hot baths, fuzzy socks and reading .

The psalmist is saying he has joy because the Lord is strength and his shield. Strength in giving him power to get things done and shield by giving him protection. God helps him so he is filled with joy.

Joy-feeling of great pleasure and happiness (Webster definition) but biblically it’s bigger than that.

It’s a lasting emotion that comes from the choice to trust that God will fulfill his promises (Bible project.com) https://bibleproject.com/explore/video/chara-joy/#:~:text=It’s%20a%20lasting%20emotion%20that,God%20will%20fulfill%20his%20promises.

That’s why the psalmist can be so hopeful. God is giving him strength, he is protecting him and helping him. Joy can certainly be found in external things like hot baths and fuzzy socks. However long lasting joy comes from the Lord.

It can be hard to have joy when everything feels like a dumpster fire. In those moments you can pull up your verses on joy and let it work down in your spirit. You can also remember all the reasons you have to be thankful. List all the ways the Lord has blessed you this month.

Prayer: Father remind them that joy comes from you, not their circumstances. Help them recall their many blessings and how even when things weren’t going in the way they expected, you were there walking beside them. Help them trust you even when they can’t see all the steps. Thank you for walking beside us so that we can have joy each day.

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”

Romans 12:12 NLT

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

Psalms 16:11 NLT

I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.

Psalms 31:7 NLT

I’m back

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Hello! This has been a long time coming. So much life has happened since I made my last post 10 months ago. It’s like I had a new birth of myself. One version of me had to die for this new version to be birthed.

I went back and looked at some of my old posts and they were dark. The interesting thing is that I don’t remember what was bothering me last September or what that was referencing. I was still on maternity leave but who knows.

Going from 1-2 kids was a huge transition. Shout out to all the moms cause whew this is hard work! I used to want three. Yea right! I don’t know how we would have managed that.

I’ve been working on some of the things we talked about, self care and positive self talk, perfectionism and over thinking.

I’ve discovered new things I’m interested in like minimalism. More on that later. I’ve been fine tuning my writing and listening to the LORD’s promptings. I read 100 books last year. Only 12 were non fiction so I’m trying to increase it that number this year.

I’m trying to be more vulnerable and I’m learning that it actually works when you do it.

I’m working on showing myself more compassion and realizing that I can’t solve everyone’s problems.

Im working on the mom wife balance. I don’t want to just be a good mom but a good wife too. We’ll get more into some marriage stuff later on as well.

Writing/blogging has always been on my heart and I’ve missed it but I had to get back to it in my own time in my own way.

I’m excited for what the second half of the year is going to bring and what I will share with you. Come check me out when you have some time.

Until next time,
Dominique

What I’ve been busy doing when I’m not writing. My family. Jesse, LJ, and James.

When it rains it pours

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What do you do when it feels like you can’t catch a break? I feel like that right now. My older son just got out of the hospital a month a go. He’s been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that he will fight the rest of his life. He is 3 years old. It doesn’t seem fair that he should have to deal with this at such a young age. But he does.

The Word says God doesn’t make mistakes but it sure does feel like it sometimes. God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. Psalms 18:30 NLT

So what do you when it feels like you take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back?

Pray for strength.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NLT

Remember Gods promises.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Reach out to your community for support.

I have been working really hard on not telling people “I am fine”. I am not. Trying to hold it all together is hard and isn’t getting me anything. I am trying to use my village as much as I can.

Continue your self care.

When you become a caregiver its easy to put yourself last. As a mom, its something I was already used to doing. It has only gotten worse, so I am trying to carve out little sections of time for myself. This is still a work in progress, lol.

Don’t stop praying and talking to God.

This has probably been the hardest of them. I love God but I don’t know if I like him very much right now. I am trying to maintain the relationship though. I know that God will give me strength to get through these hard times.

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 1 Chronicles 16:11 NLT

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalms 73:26 NLT

I hope this helps you when you hit a rough times. Its a good reminder for me. I solicit your prayers as well, because we have a long way to go.

Until next time,

Dominique

Boy mom

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Originally written 3/22/22

I found out on International Women’s Day that I was having a boy. So many emotions went through me and none of them were excitement. Yes I’m happy I’m having another baby. Yes this baby is healthy and strong. But I can’t say I didn’t want a girl. I never pictured myself as a boy mom. I do not like the things traditionally prescribed to boys. I felt like God was thinking I wasn’t a good enough woman to have a daughter. I know logically that isn’t true. But it sure is hard when you’re praying up and down for a girl and that doesn’t happen.

Justgirlproject

It’s hard not to take it personal. Gods ways are higher than mine though. I always come back to the verse of those who hope in the Lord won’t be disappointed. When I had my first son I felt a way at first. But he is the light of my life. He is so funny, so energetic, so full of life. He is not afraid of anything. He is always up for an adventure. He is 2 going on 12. I am not disappointed. I know when his brother gets here I’ll love on him too.

Before I knew I was having a boy I was walking around in pink, manifesting things, calling the baby a girl, doing everything to convince God that I knew what was best for our family.

Giphy.com

I’m the kind of person that needs a reason, so I like to believe that I don’t have a daughter of my own so I can pour into other young women and girls. So I can birth a book, so I can mother myself. Knowing that I can still impact a young girls life, does make me feel better.

Raising a black man in these times is hard. I’m grateful that God saw something in me that believes I’m capable of the job. Yes I know my husband will play a role in that but this isn’t about him right now. Lol

The biggest thing for me is adjusting the way I thought my life was going to look. I always imagined one boy and one girl. Girl first because that’s the dynamic I have in my family. I think that’s what gender disappointment is all about, mourning the life you had previously envisioned.

Now that my 2nd son is here I know God made the right decision. He fits into our family perfectly.

Until next time,

Dominique

Doing the work

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We talked before about doing the work and being intentional. What is doing the work?

I would say doing the work is being intentional about being the best version of yourself everyday. Its hard to do.

Giphy.com

Its hard to decide I’m going to make the best choice for me, not the choice that is easiest or the most comfortable. It is deciding that I am going to make decisions today that my future self will thank me for.

It’s planting seeds now that your future self with harvest later.

Giphy.com

I didn’t know I needed to do any work for a long time. We spend a lot of time in life just moving. Completing tasks, going to work, coming home, having a little fun, repeat. Covid is what made me stop and try to evaluate how I was feeling. I knew something was off but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

I decided to go see a therapist that helped me tremendously. Therapy is not for everyone, but it can be extremely helpful in assisting you in processing your stuff.

Giphy.com

Even though therapy is more common for people to talk about I still felt embarrassed to tell people I went to see one. I don’t see her anymore. I went every week starting last August until January. That was intense.

Giphy.com

I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that for everyone but I needed to get my moneys worth. I was going through Betterhelp and they charge you monthly, and it wasn’t cheap. The gains I got from it were priceless though. I learned how to set boundaries, how to put myself first, how to feel my feelings, how to say no, how not to take responsibility for other people’s choices or try to save folks.

Giphy.com

Stuffing your feelings or numbing yourself is easy. That doesn’t require anything of you. Doing the work, is not easy or for the faint of heart. When I started to do the work, I started noticing more work I needed to do. That wasn’t fun. I also had to remind myself to give myself, grace. I don’t have to have it all figured out.

Giphy.com

Its a process. I know I wanted to work on my baggage so I wouldn’t pass those issues down to my kid. I knew healing from old hurts would make me a better wife, better mom, better leader.

Giphy.com

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to be be the best version of myself if I didn’t open my eyes to what was going on inside of me. Its easier to not notice what is going on in you and just keep pushing. However you owe it to yourself to recognize what is going on and do the work to make it better.

We’ll talk next time about things that keep you from seeing what’s going on.

Until next time,

Dominique

Are your actions matching your prayers?

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We talked this time last year about feeling like God left you on read. I was able to give you 10 reasons.

Just a few reasons:

1. Are you spending time with God? 2. Are your motives good? 3. Did He already answer and you didn’t like what he said?

As I have been praying for things this summer another one came to my attention.

Giphy.com

Have my actions aligned with what I’ve been praying for? When I was praying for a baby I was doing everything to show God I was ready.

My pastor says we have to show God we are serious. I wanted a baby but the babies room was my closet. I was partying every weekend and eating terribly. That’s not going to work. I needed to get some things in order.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:24 NIV

Do you want a new job and your applying a lot of places but no hits yet? Have you mentally checked out of your current position? Are you still doing your best or just going through the motions?

Your praying for a spouse but have you done your own work to be ready for them when God sends them your way?

You want to write a book but have you set time assign to make sure you get it done?

Giphy.com

Don’t read this as manipulation because it’s not. Its putting yourself in the best position possible. It goes back to bloom where you’re planted

Gods timing is always best but we can show him we are ready. Faith without works are dead. We play an active role in our lives. The choices we make big or small make are all impactful.

Until next time,

Dominique