What should a Christian do?

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I’m an enigma. I can’t be put in a box. I know at some point I may need to make a choice but right now I’m just living the best way I can. I may listen to a Joyce Meyer podcast on the way to work, gospel on my Pandora during work and ride home to Cardi B. I am going on vacation with my girls next weekend. I will be probably go to a few night clubs and have a few adult beverages. Some would say that isn’t appropriate. I disagree. I won’t be scantily clad, grinding on strangers, or overly intoxicated. I like going to parties every now and again. I also think you can relate to other people when you understand the things they like. My bible study group went to see Jumanji and were able to point out the way God moved in the movie. I didn’t notice any of that when I was watching but I don’t think they were reaching. When your mind is always on God you see him in everything.

I can identify with people because I have been where they been. Jesus ate with tax collectors, and all kind of non conventional people. I know you we are supposed to be separated from the world but it’s just not something I can do 100%. Not right now anyway. If I can tell a college kid I went to the club on Saturday night and then went to church and Sunday school the next day they will know they can too.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV
http://bible.com/111/1co.6.12.NIV

I wrote the words above Before I went on vacation. Now that I’m back I’m not sure how I feel. I know I will probably go to the club again and drink alcohol. I think I’m at the end of an era. I was at a women’s retreat this weekend and I asked should Christians go out and most of the women there said yes that it was perfectly ok. They said be cautious because you don’t want to be a stumbling block but the souls you could be saving are more important. I don’t disagree. One woman said she has lost the taste to go out. I think I’m losing my taste for it as well. I don’t know. Part of me feels like it’s a cop out because I’m over 30, I should be partying less. Another part of me doesn’t want to leave my old life behind. The entire basis of spiritual growth is being transformed. I’m more like slowly weaning myself off. I have to ask the question am I still holding on because of other people or is it because of me? I don’t want to shut the door completely, more like cut back some more. Like birthdays and special occasions only. Maybe it’s just this season in my life. It’s about to be summer so party season will soon be upon us.

I am going to take it one event at a time. The other ladies felt pretty casual about the entire thing. I didn’t feel convicted, so this isn’t a strong pull but maybe like I didn’t belong there. I don’t know. I will probably go to a few more parties just to be sure I didn’t misunderstand my feelings.

Brave Vessel

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This weekend was the annual women’s retreat at my church. Even though I have been a member for over 10 years, this is the first one I have attended. I didn’t know what to expect and I was nervous about going. I went for a lot of reason but I didn’t really have any expectations. The theme for the weekend is Brave Vessel based on Proverbs 28:1.

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As I sit here and try to explain all the things going through my head, I can’t. I may still be too close to it since we just ended this afternoon and we still have the sermon to go tomorrow. I know I am tired from the lock-in the night before. I am just in awe of how God spoke to me that I need some time to unpack everything that I experienced.

Feeding my body garbage

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I was feeding my soul with the word, while I was feeding my body with garbage.
I wrote a post a while back about feeding your soul. I am blessed that I have never had a weight problem. I basically eat what I want and only fluctuate between 5-10 lbs of my ideal weight. I didn’t think I ate that bad. I don’t eat a lot sweets, I love juice but I don’t drink it often anymore, I don’t eat bread really, not a lot of dairy, most of the bad habits people have I don’t have. I also don’t eat a lot of vegetables and I only exercise from end of April/May to at the latest Thanksgiving. I do enough to get in a two piece for my annual anniversary trip and cute summer outfits once summer is over I’m about done.

I have not been treating my body as my temple. I have good genes, no more no less. I thought because I looked ok on the outside I was ok on the inside. Duh! I should know bmmmbetter. I haven’t been to a primary care doctor in years. My mom finally made suggested (made) me go. Her doctor is a young black woman. I never had a black doctor before. She did my blood work and it was discovered I have pre-diabetes. How?! She tells me to limit sweets and complex carbs and I’m like I don’t eat sweets. Lol. I do eat carbs though. I LOVE pasta, rice, potatoes, noodles, white bread (toast), biscuits. I used to have a starch in all my meals as well as meats. I am known for my limited food options. I bragged for years about being a meatatarian. Foolish. I’m disappointed in myself because this isn’t hereditary, I caused it myself. I’ve been eating like a college student for years but I’m not in college anymore. I have no excuses, especially because my husband takes special care with his diet and works out All the time.

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I wrote the above words on April 7. I was pretty much in shock at this diagnosis. I didn’t really do any research though and I hadn’t told anyone. When I finally got out of my funk and I told my mom about it, I felt a lot better. She told that when they test your blood sugar levels it is only checked for the last 3 months. Well that makes a lot sense. I know I was eating terrible at the beginning of the year. This was a wake up call for me for sure. I have never really paid much attention to what I was eating or how I was living because I know I wasn’t doing bad things. That isn’t good enough. God tells us to take care of our temple.

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As I have gotten older, I realize how important it is to pay attention to what I am taking in figuratively and literally. I do not want to pass down bad habits to my children. I am glad I found out this information. I thank God that this is something that is reversible. I know I need to exercise on a more consistent basis, not just when its warm outside. I am getting myself together. It was just such a shock to my system. I wish I could learn lessons the easy way. I don’t seem to be one of those people though. I have to learn everything the hard way. I will keep you guys updated on my progress. Overhauling my diet will not be easy but it is certainly necessary.

Do you like vegetables? Do you eat organic? How would you rate your healthy habits? Leave your recipes for no carb dinners in the comments. I could use all the help I can get.

Putting my suffering on display

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I was in church today and the woman preached about the man in Mark 3:1-5, who had the shriveled hand but was healed on the Sabbath. She made several good points but the one that spoke to me the most was when she talked about Jesus making him come up to the front of the congregation before he healed him. Jesus could have healed him from anywhere, he didn’t even need to talk to the man and the healing would have been done. Why did he make him come to the front of the congregation? She said Jesus made him come to the front because exposure is necessary for victory. God wants to put our suffering on display so he can get the glory from the situation. He wants everyone to see it, so that people will know that it is him.

suffering peter

I have never been one to put my suffering on display. Not at first anyway. I usually suffer in silence. It doesn’t really work that well but its a trained habit. I usually put myself in a bubble, well hidden and insulated until I pull myself together and then I come back out, seemly refreshed, although not healed. God had been telling me to tell my story for years but I didn’t want to put my suffering on display. Most people know at this point about my fertility challenges but its still sometimes feels like a dirty secret.

suffering in silence

While I have been hiding out, people are still living their lives. Another one of my good friends is pregnant and this is a great thing. I am never not happy when someone gets pregnant, a baby is a blessing from God. I was sad for me, but the longer I go through this, the more I see this is not a good way to think either. When someone is sharing their good news, I shouldn’t even be thinking about me. I should be 100% celebrating with them. Joyce Meyer says a sign of spiritual growth is reacting differently to the same situation. This is the first time that I heard someone’s baby news and didn’t first think of myself.

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade. I don’t want people to feel like they can’t talk about their plans just because I am not making the same plans. That is not fair. I was mad at friend because she didn’t tell me when she told everyone else that she was pregnant. Everyone knew but me and that really hurt. She said she didn’t know how. I can understand that. Dealing with someone else’ s infertility can be challenging. I don’t know how I will feel about things. Someone texted me a picture of their positive pregnancy test and I really didn’t like that. Someone else texted me their sonogram pictures. I really didn’t like that either. They didn’t know that and I never told them. I probably never will. They were treating me like a normal person, I shouldn’t be mad. I don’t always feel normal but that isn’t their problem, its mine.

I have been trying to get the focus off of myself and on to other people but I still need to do more. I was so depressed at the beginning of the year. I didn’t know though and other people didn’t either. I didn’t realize I was depressed until I took a quiz a few weeks ago and by then I was over the hump.It was recommended by this podcast Therapy for black girls.(Its really good. You should check it out.) I wonder if I could have turned it around sooner if I had said something to someone?

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For all you women out there who are suffering from infertility issues know you don’t have to suffer in silence. Know that God has put a desire in you and he WILL fulfill it. Right now I am pregnant with possibilities, and I am ok with that. I have things that I was put here to do and I am no less a woman because I have not bared any children, YET. If I never birth my own child, I can live with that because I know God has a plan. A plan better than anything I can dream or imagine. I used to never want to say that because it felt like I was giving up hope. I know now that is not the case. It is relinquishing full control to him. I know that I can master any situation because I have winning member on my team, Jesus. I am so thankful, so grateful, that he takes care of me and will fulfill every desire he put in me.

Letter to my followers

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Hi,

I have been gone for a bit. Not terribly long but longer that I intended. I have not posted in 10 days which is unlike me. I typically like to post at least two times a week, sometimes three. Every month, at the end of the month I set goals for how many new followers I want, how many posts, how many viewers, etc and every month I have exceeded those goals. I had a goal to have 16 posts for this month, and I could probably throw together 4 posts and have them up by Monday but I am not going to do that. Well, I actually I probably will have at least 4 posts before the end of the month but they will be organic, not because I am trying to reach some goal.

I can not believe I hadn’t posted in 10 days. I apologize for that. I appreciate so much you all taking the time out to read what I have to say, to comment, to come by this page consistently. I wasn’t in the mood to write though. I wasn’t really hearing from God like I normally do and I didn’t want to force anything. I didn’t want to post for the sake of posting, I owe you and God my best.

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Some of that was my fault for sure.  I went on a girls trip to Orlando last weekend and had a blast but I don’t if I really took God with me. I didn’t do anything crazy but as the days leading up to the trip were coming I was definitely listening to more Cardi B and less James Fortune.  I was taking in more junk food and less soul food. I was just kind of coasting. I really needed to get away and I kind of tuned everything out. I went to a women’s retreat at my church this weekend that really has me fired up. The words are just pouring out of me. I needed a tune up and I got it.

This blog is the springboard for the many other things that I want to do. I need to take it seriously all the time, even when I don’t feel like it. I did not feel right when I wasn’t blogging but I just didn’t want to. I couldn’t get motivated. I know better to trust my feeling because feelings lie, but I couldn’t shake it. I know I am not going to meet all my goals this month and that is ok. I know I didn’t try my best. Thankfully, I have next month. I have so many things to tell you all, there is going to be some changes around here. I am so excited!  I hope you all have been growing over this past six months. I certainly have.

I’m glad to be back, I missed you guys.

Love,

Dominique

I’ll be back

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I have been on vacation for the past 4 days and it was lovely. Stay tuned, I have several posts that will be on the way.

Talk to you soon,

Dominique

Idol making

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The bible describes idolatry as the worship of an image or a created object.

Hair became my idol because I skipped my devotional to do it. Didn’t iron, almost was late to work. All to make sure my hair looked good. It was bigger than hair though. I was listening to Joyce Meyer the other day and she asked, Do you care more about your earthly clothes or your spiritual clothes? Does it take you longer to put on your earthly clothes then your spiritual clothes? I really had stop and think about that. My hair isn’t my idol anymore. We have come to an agreement. I still sometimes take too much time on my appearance and overall look before I walk out the door, rushing to make sure I’m not going to be late. I am getting better but some days it is still a struggle. I never am rushing out the door because my quiet time went too long. Even when my quiet time goes too long, somehow, I am never late for work. Thanks God!

What is your idol? What are you putting in front of your relationship with God? Is it sleep? Is it tv? Is it work? A relationship? Anything you put in front of God is an idol. I never really thought about that before. It’s startling when you get this conviction at first. I know I was shocked but when you start paying attention, it makes a lot of sense.

Don’t let anything become an idol. In the end nothing is as important as your relationship with God. He just wants to spend time with us. I talked about that in this post, Is God your friend? Anything can become an idol, especially when you aren’t paying attention. Stay diligent, the devil always wants you to get your eyes off God and on to yourself. Spending time with God is something you are going to have to be intentional about, just like spending time with your friends or your spouse.

A routine isn’t necessary, he just wants a some of your time. Take some time this week and pray to God to remove anything that is getting in the way of spending time with him.

For more information:

What Does Idolatry Mean? A Biblical Definition of Idolatry

https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/idolatry/

Fret

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href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fret/”>Fret</a&gt;

Fret-be constantly or visibly worried or anxious.

Evildoers is harsher than what I’m thinking however, I’m not excluding anyone. People who cut corners, people who step on other people to get to the top, people who don’t geniuninely deserve the good things they are getting. I am talking about them. Its hard to watch people who just skate by in life get things when you work super hard and don’t get anything. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Looking on social media, you see people get famous for doing nothing, while you have been working your tail off and nobody know’s your name. Don’t feel discouraged. It won’t last though. When you rise fast, sometimes you crash fast as well.

Roots have to be established and when things happen too quickly you can’t set down any roots. Overcoming adversity is what helps you when trouble comes. Trouble will come and those people who are winning won’t be prepared.

God is allowing to them prosper for a little while but it won’t last. Continue to work hard. Hard work will last, not scheming and getting over,so don’t get discouraged.

My Hope

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I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word.
Psalms 119:81 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.119.81.NLT

You all know these past few months have been trying but I am over the hump. Praise God! I never want to forget no matter how tired I am or frustrated from a situation that I can put my hope in God because he does not lie and his word is true. Even on my worst days I remember that and all the awesome things he had done for me.

I don’t want to offer any cliches. I know life can throw some pretty crappy stuff at us. I know it can feel like God isn’t hearing our prayers but he is. As long as I’m still breathing God can I intercede. The improvement of my mood wasn’t over night. It was constant prayer and crying out and mindset shifting.

I always had hope though that my good days would outweigh my bad days and eventually they did. If you are in a bad way, stay in constant communication with God, find like minded people and find something to get yourself off your mind. It will make a world of difference. Good luck!

Things I learned first quarter of the year

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We are a little over 100 days in to 2018. How have things been going so far? I have had my share of ups and downs and the year has just got started. I have definitely learned some lessons and if I wouldn’t have went through those things, I wouldn’t have gain these new experiences.

Its ok to be vulnerable with people. I don’t typically do this but I have gotten really good results when I do. I have gotten recommendations for recipes, doctors, books to read, all things that I needed. Once I wasn’t worried about what the person thought about what I was going through, it opened up a lot of doors for me. In being vulnerable, I realized that people are having the same problems I am having. I am not alone in my thoughts or views and this can come from the people I didn’t expect.

vulnerability

brene brown vulernabilty

Its ok to not know everything. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. It is so hard for me to not know everything. I want to who, what, where and why, all the time. If I know what the problem is I can work on a solution. I am realizing I don’t need to do that. I have to take things one day at a time. If I focus on doing the best I can, things will fall into place.

not knowing everything

knowing God

Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, even when it feels like it does. Integrity matters. Even when people are not patting you on the back and saying good job, the work you do matters. Getting up, going in and doing your best will make a difference. You can not work hard and nobody notice it.

determination

Prayer still works. I know this in my head but it’s harder to put into action. When I decide to pray first, things always work out so much better. I don’t feel as anxious or stressed when I decide to pray first instead of worry or rant.

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Knowing like minded people is important. Knowing people who think like you, just encourages you to keep going. Its nice to know that idea you had was not crazy and it makes sense. Like minded people can build you up and even push you to the next level.

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It’s only April. You still have time to turn 2018 around. How is your year going so far? Do you need to make any changes??