via Daily Prompt: Awkward
awkward-causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience
Why is everyone so scared to be awkward? Issa Rae had a book and YouTube series about being an Awkward Black Girl. (the language is pretty bad, but its also pretty funny) I can identify with some of how she felt. I don’t think I am super socially awkward but I am human, so I am sure I have my moments. I think a lot, so I make sure I avoid it at all costs. Sometimes I avoid being awkward so much that I let things linger that probably shouldn’t. How long is to long to not talk to someone? How long is too long to not hang out with them? There is no beef but so much time has passed it feels awkward to make the call.
My friends say you don’t have to explain your absence, people just want to be reached out, thought about. Which in theory makes sense, but that initial conversation, what if its weird? What if the person is mad? What if the magic is gone?
I wrote a while back about spiritual growth being about reacting differently to the same situation and I want to, but then the whole issue of being awkward comes up and I start to think is it worth it? Embarrassment is a hard thing to get over and vulnerability is too. How do you tell someone its not you, its me? Would they even accept that? Can we go back to being what we were before? Do we want too? Can you trust me again? They say time heals all wounds but I just don’t know about that.
I try to look at it if one of my friends came back to me after a long hiatus like hey whats up we should hang out. Would I be upset? Probably not, but things don’t necessarily bother me like they bother other people. I am going to take the plunge real soon and see how it goes. I have held this off for too long. God doesn’t want me holding on to anything. I could be blowing this situation up in my mind and making it worse than what it is. I won’t know until I pick up the phone. I will let you know my progress.
We are a little over 100 days in to 2018. How have things been going so far? I have had my share of ups and downs and the year has just got started. I have definitely learned some lessons and if I wouldn’t have went through those things, I wouldn’t have gain these new experiences.
Its ok to be vulnerable with people. I don’t typically do this but I have gotten really good results when I do. I have gotten recommendations for recipes, doctors, books to read, all things that I needed. Once I wasn’t worried about what the person thought about what I was going through, it opened up a lot of doors for me. In being vulnerable, I realized that people are having the same problems I am having. I am not alone in my thoughts or views and this can come from the people I didn’t expect.
Its ok to not know everything. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. It is so hard for me to not know everything. I want to who, what, where and why, all the time. If I know what the problem is I can work on a solution. I am realizing I don’t need to do that. I have to take things one day at a time. If I focus on doing the best I can, things will fall into place.
Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed, even when it feels like it does. Integrity matters. Even when people are not patting you on the back and saying good job, the work you do matters. Getting up, going in and doing your best will make a difference. You can not work hard and nobody notice it.
Prayer still works. I know this in my head but it’s harder to put into action. When I decide to pray first, things always work out so much better. I don’t feel as anxious or stressed when I decide to pray first instead of worry or rant.
Knowing like minded people is important. Knowing people who think like you, just encourages you to keep going. Its nice to know that idea you had was not crazy and it makes sense. Like minded people can build you up and even push you to the next level.
It’s only April. You still have time to turn 2018 around. How is your year going so far? Do you need to make any changes??