I have reached 200 posts! I am so excited. When I started this blog in 2017, I would have never thought I would reach 200 posts. I did. It was hard, scary, fun, nerve wrecking, I could go on and on but I loved it. Writing is something I always enjoyed since I was a kid but I didn’t know how I was going to pursue that as an adult. It was a dream, I put on a shelf. I am glad that I finally had the courage to pursue my dream and see where it could take me.
I have not had a year since this blog has been in existence that I have a post every month. I posted the second half of 2020. I only did a few posts in 2019 ( I was pregnant and had a baby). 2018 was my best year, 111 posts but I don’t think I posted every month. I don’t typically make resolutions but this year I will. Posting every month is a goal I am setting for myself this year.
I thank each and every one of you for your support. It makes me feel good that the words of my heart are able to impact so many people. People from all over the world read what I write and I am greatly honored by that.
I am excited to see where my writing will take me in 2021 especially because I am starting to take it more seriously.
Happy New Year! Here are the top posts from 2020. Some of these I wrote in 2020 and some of them are old. I thank each and every one of you for your continued support.
2020 is finally ending. Thank goodness! It wasn’t a bad year but I am glad that it is almost over. It has been interesting year for sure. I definitely learned a lot about myself and about other people. Here are some of the lessons that I learned.
Letgo of things that don’t serve me, perfectionism and overthinking, just to name a few.
I am enough.
You can definitely have too much of a good thing.
Pour into people that pour into me.
It’s ok to say no.
I’m not responsible for the choices that anyone else makes.
Self care is not selfish.
Perfectionism is a form of procrastination.
Healing and growth are not linear.
Read the directions on hair and skincare products. It can be helpful.
Trying new things is good even if you suck at it.
Feel my feelings.
Feelings aren’t bad or good, they just are.
Shame is a tool of the devil to keep you from reaching your full potential.
Lean not on my own understanding.
I can break generational curses.
I don’t have to do everything. I can ask for help.
Authentic was my word for 2020. I had a few more as well, but when I sat down to decide what I wanted 2020 to look like, authentic was the first word that came to mind. Joy, fearless, inspired and determined ended up rounding out my top 5. I used these words to guide how I wanted to move in 2020. I wrote a prayer and found scripture to back up what I was trying to do. I like having a word of the year because it gave me something to stay rooted to. When I was frustrated with how things were not moving fast enough or if I had a set back, I would go back to those words and that prayer and it would give me something to lean on.
Instead of a rigid New Year’s Resolution, a Word of the Year is your constant—yet gentle—reminder to focus on creating positive change. Use your Word of the Year to help guide your decisions and continue moving towards what you want. The first step to manifesting anything you desire is awareness and intention.
Elizabethrider.com
In my quest to be more authentic I started learning more about my identity in Christ. Who does God say I am?
The answers to those questions have definitely been mind changing. It also lead the way to more questions. Why do I need to know that? Why does it matter? I am starting to discover the answer to those questions. If I know who God says I am, then I am able to know more of who He is. If I know who He is, then I know what I have access to, what I can accomplish and how I should be living.
You can’t really have anything else or be anything if you are not your authentic self. God is not going to bless who you pretend to be. Being authentic can be difficult because it goes against what the world says, however its easier to just be me than it is to be anything else. I am going to continue to work on this in 2021 because I have just tipped the iceberg.
The word I’m focusing on this week is reflection. 2020 was supposed to be the year of clarity. I remember everybody being so hype about 2020 coming, year of completion, year of clarity. Did those things happen for you? When I asked myself that question I had to say yes they did. 2020 did a lot of things for me that I certainly wasn’t expecting. I didn’t roll into the year feeling great. I didn’t feel grounded, I felt like I was just floating by trying to keep my head above water.
I went back and read my old journal from the beginning of this year and I had a lot of goals which I did end up accomplishing most of them. After reading my old journal, the biggest thing I noticed was that I felt a disconnect from God. I wasn’t feeling his presence. My emotions were very up and down. I also wasn’t going to church as much as I should and I wasn’t doing any bible study. I changed those things in the second half of 2020 for sure.
That’s the beauty in writing things down. January-March (pre-Covid) feels so long ago. I definitely feel differently about it now then I did when I was in it. While I felt a little lost going into 2020, by the time the end of December got here, I recognized I needed to make changes going into 2020. I wrote down all the things I wanted to do and I eventually did them. It just didn’t seem like they were happening fast enough. I didn’t really start implementing the changes I wanted to do until April 2020. I was forced to change because of Covid but it was for my good. Quality takes time.
I also made a vision board and found scripture to match up with the goals that I had. It was super helpful.
As we finally! finish up 2020 this is the time to reflect on what you have done and prepare for what you are doing next.
The great thing about change is that you don’t have to wait until the New Year to do it. You can start right now, today. Even if you only move a centimeter in the right direction. Its movement, it counts.
I pray that you are able to receive the best gifts of all this Christmas. These are gifts from God and cannot be taken away. Gifts of joy, peace, love and grace. I hope your day is great. Enjoy!
No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 NLT
The word I’m focusing on this week ishumility. I’ve talked about humility here before and it’s not something I’m great at. I’m not great at being humble because I don’t do a lot of things I’m not naturally good so it feels like its all me, but it isn’t. God gave me these skills and gifts so if I’m good its because of him not me. When I read this verse what stuck out to me was walk with the Lord.
The non humble person wants to get out ahead of God because they think they have the best plan. Do you come up with a plan and then ask God to bless it after? Doesn’t seem like a big deal but that’s not humility. We talked about being a perfectionist last week. That’s not being humble either. If I’m walking alongside the Lord, I don’t think I have all the answers or everything depends on my abilities. He wants us along side him for a reason so that he can step in when we need him to, so we can make sure we don’t get ahead of him, so that we can actively engage him in our plans.
Humility can be hard. Its having to admit that I don’t have it all together, that I mess up. Humility is being vulnerable. Nobody likes being vulnerable. I don’t anyway. But the benefits to being humble far outweigh the discomfort of being vulnerable.
Prayer: Lord we ask you to help us be more humble as we move into the new year. Help us as we are making our goals for 2021 remind us to talk to you first. Where do you see us going? What gifts and talents do you want us to use? What lessons do you want us to learn? How do we need to humble ourselves before you? Remove any obstacle that may be standing in the way of our being humble and submitting to you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect. Psalms 18:32 NLT
You, therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life], as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:48 AMP
You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You—in both inclination and character], Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]. Isaiah 26:3 AMP
Jesus answered him, “If you wish to be perfect [that is, have the spiritual maturity that accompanies godly character with no moral or ethical deficiencies], go and sell what you have and give [the money] to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me [becoming My disciple, believing and trusting in Me and walking the same path of life that I walk].” Matthew 19:21 AMP
This is four different ways that God looks at being perfect. None of them say never making mistakes, not giving yourself grace, procrastinating because if every thing isn’t just right you won’t do it.
giphy.com
It says make my way perfect which means guide me, show me, take the lead. It says integrating godly values into your day to day life. Are you integrating Godly values? The only perfection that God wants us to have is perfection in character. He want us to be spiritually mature. That doesn’t mean knowing all the answers or making everything just right. Being spiritually mature means you are leaning on God for support. It is recognizing he is in control. It is being humble and allowing him to guide your steps, not you making all the decisions.
giphy.com
These are the things we should be striving towards. Being perfect is all about being in control, not asking for help, not showing weakness but God wants us to want him. He doesn’t expect us to do things on our own.
Perfectionism smacked me in the face this week. There is a reason that that people say God laughs at our plans. My perfectly laid plans just blew up in my face.
My son when we decided to take Christmas pictures. giphy.com
I was trying to take family photos for Christmas and my son did not want to cooperate. At. All. I was so mad, all that work, I did for nothing. But in the long run does it matter? No. He is a toddler in the making. We will have opportunities to take pictures again. I was more concerned about what picture will we send out for Christmas cards and what will I put on my Facebook page
Perfection is definitely more worried about what others will think than what God will think. Worrying about the opinion of others will be our downfall every time.
The holidays can be a time were perfectionism rears its ugly head. There is a lot of pressure that comes with Christmas, perfectly clean houses, perfectly dressed children, perfect decor, table settings etc. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to get it all done. Its not necessary.
I told my friend the other day, I am letting go of perfectionism. I am not taking it into 2021 because it doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t serve you either. All it does it make us more anxious and feel judged. I am over it! The only perfection I am striving for is humility.
giphy.com
When perfection rears its ugly head, ask yourself these questions:
Is it necessary? Will this matter in the long run? Am I more worried about peoples opinions?
I make this statement tongue in cheek but follow my logic here.
I say this because on one hand productivity is great. We were made to get stuff done, not lay around all the time surfing Netflix and Instagram. On the other hand the constant need to be producing and getting stuff done can be a hinderance. Its a hinderance to rest, to enjoying the Sabbath, to enjoying your family and friends.
Last week was the first week in 6 months that I didn’t post at least one blog post. The work week I had was insane! Insane. I had a massive project that I needed to finish and I only had a week to get it done. So every night I was working late making sure everything was going to be complete by the deadline. It was! I finished with a little bit of time to spare. Unfortunately that spare time didn’t go to the blog. I need to celebrate the small win.Win: I set a goal back in June to post everyday and I was able to exceed that goal. That’s a good thing. I’m going to silence my inner critic. I’m going to give myself some grace for not meeting my goal this week and move on.
I talked about rest a few weeks ago. Toxic productivity knows nothing about rest. How often do you push yourself to get something done?How often do you feel that this thing just can’t wait?Do you enjoy your days off or are you rushing to complete to-do list items? A day off should be a day off. Even the Lord rested one day of the week and He certainly didn’t have to do.
Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2:1-3
Being a creative and this concept of always producing, always putting out content, it makes the work more difficult. I want to make sure what I give to you is the best of me every time. Not perfect, but my best. That sometimes gets lost in translation, in trying to hit goals, deadlines, get more followers, sell more product or this urge to get stuff done.
@thenapministry Instagram
As we get close to the end of the year think about this: Did you spend more time producing or enjoying? Is there a way to do both? Do you believe you get enough rest? If not, this is the time to make those adjustments so you can go in the new year with a new habit in place.
Have you ever heard this saying before? I have only heard it in the church setting, it essentially means when people around you are being blessed then your blessing can’t be too far away.
giphy.com
Part of me believes that and part of me doesn’t. You all know I have known so many pregnant people in the last few years and I haven’t had a whiff of being pregnant. So I’m not sure. I was talking to someone at work and he reminded me of this concept.
He said I should be blessed to be around so many people who have the direct hand of God on their lives. I never thought about it that way. I guess I was looking at it from a victim perspective. Maybe not a victim but definitely selfish, like, look at all those people getting blessed and not me.
I know so many people, myself included who feel like when other people are being blessed that they need to “catch up”.
Giphy.com
How do you do that exactly? There really isn’t anyway you can do that. I used to think that whenever someone lapped me with a baby who hadn’t been married as long as I have, like sheesh I really need to get to work now, like that makes any difference. Not! Everything happens when it is supposed. We know that, its just easier said than done when you are in the midst.
I wrote those words a few years ago ironically a few months before I found out I was pregnant.
Now that I have had more time to think about it I do believe that its true. It’s God giving us another sign of Hope.
Its like he is saying hey I haven’t forgotten about you. I know its confusing to see people around you getting the things you want. Its confusing being happy for them and sad for yourself. You don’t have to stay in that space. You can look at it as God was just sending me a reminder that my turn is coming.
I’ve had that happen to me a few times. We have to trust God at his word. You’re waiting anyway so why not have a better mindset about it.
I know this way of thinking sounds bogus. Somebody else being blessed is supposed to make me happy when I’ve been waiting?
Giphy.com Giphy.com
It definitely works to shift your mindset. If you have to wait anyway, you might as well make the wait time as enjoyable as you can.
Always finding the silver lining 