Who is helping you grow? (27)

The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them!

Psalms 16:3 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.16.3.NLT

I came across this the other day and it was a great reminder. Who are the godly people you look up to? I’m not talking about just surrounding yourself with godly friends but actually having people around that help you grow. Do you have a Christian mentor? Do you go to Sunday school or attend a bible study? Who is helping you in your spiritual growth? Do you read books or listen to podcasts that help in your growth?

No person is an island and we all need help. The small group I am in, has changed my life for the better. These women have challenged me, inspired, informed me. They have made me a strong prayer warrior and Christian women. They have encouraged me when I didn’t think I could go forward.

If you are the smartest person you know, then you need a new circle. If you are the only person praying over your life, then you may want to get some new friends.

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Who is your enemy? (26)

I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me.

Psalm 41:11 NIV

Who is my enemy? I used to read this literally, that this was talking about a actual enemy doesn’t triumph over me. For a long time I didn’t think it applied to me. I was well liked, it sounds nice but I don’t need this actual piece.

When you start asking questions like who is my enemy then you notice it is saying something deeper. If the world is my enemy then I have some work to do.

How can the world triumph over me? By making me think things of this world are acceptable to God. TV, social media, movies, magazines, etc.

People get mad because the bible doesn’t explicitly say you can’t do certain things. Children need you tell them exactly what they want you to do.God is your parent he wants you to start figuring things out for yourself. He kind of was of literal if you think about it. He said don’t be transformed by the things of this world. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

James 4:4

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

I deal with this on a daily basis. Trying to not to conform. I don’t always do so well. I don’t want to be a nun. What is the balance? Have you found it? I think the older I get the easier it is, but it is still difficult. The method is easy, closer you are to God easier it is to be like him. The action is what is harder.

Saints walked with Jesus. You can’t cut up when you standing right next to the person who knows your intention. You can’t run or hid from. God he is compassionate. We don’t have to be saints,  he will be with you any situation if you invite him in.

 

 

Quick and dirty (24)

I am reading this book right now called The Gifts of Imperfections, by Brene’ Brown. In the book she has 10 guideposts to life. Her whole approach is not how to but why you make the decisions you make. They were so many nuggets in her book. It has been a long time since I connected with a book in the way I connected with hers. I saw myself in those chapters. I was really surprised.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by [Brown, Brené]

One of the many things she said that stood out to me was when she said there is no fast way to do the work. She couldn’t give people a how to because it was a quick list of steps is not going to help you with long lasting change. A blogger that I follow, Aqua,  brought up this same topic in her post. She talked about why blogs with headlines like 10 Ways to Happiness got more likes than Christian blog posts that basically said the same thing.

I get it. Putting in the work is hard. I talked about in a previous post as well. I would much rather get a top ten things to do, or avoid instead of doing soul searching work that is difficult and takes a long time to show results. Most people don’t run marathons for a reason. We want Microwave Growth. I know at times I do. Brene’ talks about in her book, how that just doesn’t work, even when we want it to. I will be talking more about her book because it was so life changing to me. I think its great that other people are starting to get this concept as well. The more of us that talk about it, maybe more people will be willing to put in the work to change themselves and not go for the quick fix.

Doing the work (23)

This summer is going by fast. I don’t feel like I have done as much partying as I did last summer. I had quite a breakthrough last summer in focusing on my self care and really doing the work to be a better person. I came out of that experience refreshed. I just start writing for my blog. I had good the goals or things I wanted to accomplish. God did all of them but one. You could probably guess which one that was. I was very pleased. I must admit though that list was pretty surfacey, superficial. It was mostly about partying and hanging out, having fun with my husband and my friends. I knew this year I would do the same thing. Make this list to God and ask him to help me do things that I wanted to accomplish. It was much harder for me to write it this time though.

I started this list in April, but every time I would sit down to write it, I just couldn’t do it. I would stumble and stutter and end up talking to God about random stuff, not what I really what I wanted to do. I couldn’t understand what was taking me so long why i just couldn’t spit it out. Part of that was because if I really asked God for something and worked on it and he didn’t do it I would be faced with disappointment yet again.

I just didn’t think that I could do that again. God’s track record is proven. So I decided to go for it. Knowing that I need to put the work in. I always thought that if I put the work in that I would be trying to help God.

That just isn’t true. He doesn’t need my help, he needs effort. Effort can be difficult when you aren’t seeing results, but that is where true perseverance comes in.

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I gave God my list and I started putting the work in. It has certainly been harder but also more rewarding. I am making long lasting changes. Changes that aren’t just a change in action but a change in thought process, with action to back it up. Its been a challenge but I feel good. I have definitely grown this summer and taken some steps back. Change is not a linear process. I couldn’t always say that.  Growth is also recognizing that things take time.

What-success-looks-like

100th post (20)

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I can’t believe I’m here. I thought it would take me longer but 31 posts in 31 days (1) helped get that done. I never thought I would get a 100 strangers to read my story or anything that I write down. I have big writing goals. I have been listening to books on how people write and when they got started. I don’t feel so behind. I have so many ideas, I just need to pick one and start writing. I’m all over the place, fiction, non-fiction. I haven’t found an idea I really wanted to start.

I wrote 87 of my posts in 2018, which is crazy to me because I published my first post in October. I count that as my true anniversary not June when I purchased the domain.

I asked about classes or training and I got some good info that I will be checking out. I’m excited to take the next step. It’s comforting to hear writers you really respect say, “I threw away 4 books before I had one good enough to publish”. – Janet Evanovich

I know that I’m on the right track. I just need to do it. Failing is so hard and not something I do often. I don’t fail often because I don’t like to do things I where I am not great. I hate to be one of those people that talk about writing a book but never do it. I don’t want fear to hold me back. What’s the worst that could happen? If nobody wants to read it, at least I finished it. That is a big deal. It doesn’t have to be perfect and I am ok with that.

Faith over fear (15)

What are you afraid of? I just realized that I am afraid of change. I never really thought I was a person afraid of change but one of the ladies in my caregroup asked me yesterday if I was of change and after thinking about it I had to say yes. We are doing a bible study on faith in a larger study on the fruit of the spirit by Beth Moore. Beth asks when you are afraid to have faith what is holding you back. Everyone said fear of disappoint, myself included but after we started talking about prayer requests, I realized I am afraid of change. I haven’t had many changes in my life. I worked in the same department at the same company for eight years. I also worked their in Undergrad, so there was no true change for me there. I lived in the same apartment for 3 years before I got married. I hate moving. As I look back over my life, I realized that I don’t take the opportunity to change very often.

fearofchange

My fear of change could potentially be blocking me from my blessings. An opportunity came up at work and I was thinking of all the reasons that it could be bad. I never thought for a moment of the positives that could come from the change. There is growth in change. I realized that if I let my fear of change hold me back, then I am telling God he can’t be with me wherever I go or whatever situation I face. Its a control issue. The longer you stay in a situation, the more you have control over, you can anticipate the variables. I say God is in control of my life, but if I let fear rule me then truly, I am saying I control my life and not God. That’s not the life I am trying to lead.

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One of the girls in the group said that I was just creating a lot of this in my mind. I created a story. It doesn’t have to end that way. I am projecting my feelings onto a situation that had not happened yet. What if it was good? I have never even considered that. I chose to focus only on the negative. What if I chose to focus on the positive instead? I also made a pros and cons list. After looking at the list, the pros were definitely outweighing the cons.

Change is something that is inevitable. I am working hard to embrace change and not run from it. I don’t want to block any blessings because I am afraid. I trust God to work everything out for my good.