Talking about Joy

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”

Psalms 28:7 NLT

What brings you joy? What gives you strength? In what do you put your trust?

As we talk about joy this week I want you to think about these questions. Write down 50 things that bring you joy, big or small. A few of mine are hot baths, fuzzy socks and reading .

The psalmist is saying he has joy because the Lord is strength and his shield. Strength in giving him power to get things done and shield by giving him protection. God helps him so he is filled with joy.

Joy-feeling of great pleasure and happiness (Webster definition) but biblically it’s bigger than that.

It’s a lasting emotion that comes from the choice to trust that God will fulfill his promises (Bible project.com) https://bibleproject.com/explore/video/chara-joy/#:~:text=It’s%20a%20lasting%20emotion%20that,God%20will%20fulfill%20his%20promises.

That’s why the psalmist can be so hopeful. God is giving him strength, he is protecting him and helping him. Joy can certainly be found in external things like hot baths and fuzzy socks. However long lasting joy comes from the Lord.

It can be hard to have joy when everything feels like a dumpster fire. In those moments you can pull up your verses on joy and let it work down in your spirit. You can also remember all the reasons you have to be thankful. List all the ways the Lord has blessed you this month.

Prayer: Father remind them that joy comes from you, not their circumstances. Help them recall their many blessings and how even when things weren’t going in the way they expected, you were there walking beside them. Help them trust you even when they can’t see all the steps. Thank you for walking beside us so that we can have joy each day.

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”

Romans 12:12 NLT

You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

Psalms 16:11 NLT

I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul.

Psalms 31:7 NLT

I’m back


Hello! This has been a long time coming. So much life has happened since I made my last post 10 months ago. It’s like I had a new birth of myself. One version of me had to die for this new version to be birthed.

I went back and looked at some of my old posts and they were dark. The interesting thing is that I don’t remember what was bothering me last September or what that was referencing. I was still on maternity leave but who knows.

Going from 1-2 kids was a huge transition. Shout out to all the moms cause whew this is hard work! I used to want three. Yea right! I don’t know how we would have managed that.

I’ve been working on some of the things we talked about, self care and positive self talk, perfectionism and over thinking.

I’ve discovered new things I’m interested in like minimalism. More on that later. I’ve been fine tuning my writing and listening to the LORD’s promptings. I read 100 books last year. Only 12 were non fiction so I’m trying to increase it that number this year.

I’m trying to be more vulnerable and I’m learning that it actually works when you do it.

I’m working on showing myself more compassion and realizing that I can’t solve everyone’s problems.

Im working on the mom wife balance. I don’t want to just be a good mom but a good wife too. We’ll get more into some marriage stuff later on as well.

Writing/blogging has always been on my heart and I’ve missed it but I had to get back to it in my own time in my own way.

I’m excited for what the second half of the year is going to bring and what I will share with you. Come check me out when you have some time.

Until next time,
Dominique

What I’ve been busy doing when I’m not writing. My family. Jesse, LJ, and James.

5 things I’ve learned being married 10 years

My 10 year wedding anniversary was in May and I renewed my vows back in June.

People always talk about being able to grow with your partner that is what sustains a long term relationship and I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I think being with someone long term is more about being comfortable with how your partner grows and being able to pivot if need be. My husband and I have been together for 17 years. A lot about a person can change in that amount of time. Things you used to think were cute or funny now get on your nerves.

Here are 5 things I learned in being married for 10 years

1.You have to be willing to grow at different paces. I can recall when I felt like my spiritual walk was stronger than my husbands and that was really hard. I wanted him to be the spiritual head of our household and he wasn’t. I also hadn’t laid out that expectation for him, I just assumed he knew to take on that role.

2. Managing expectations. This is a big one. People always expect themselves out of other people and that isn’t always the case. From what I’ve seen its rarely the case. Your spouse can not read your mind. Are you expecting you things out of your spouse that you haven’t mentioned to them?

Managing Expectations – is it ever too late to do so? | BRS

3. Be supportive. Are your spouses greatest cheerleader? When my husband decides that he wants to start eating healthier its much better for me to get on board with him then just let him eat healthy by himself. When I was more newly married I would sneak and have a burger and fries before he got home from work. He wanted to have salad and baked chicken and I wasn’t trying to have that. Binging in my car certainly wasn’t helping the cause.

Clapping Applause GIF
giphy.com

4. I’ve heard single people say that they hear is marriage is hard but nobody explains why. I think that marriage is hard for a few different reasons. The biggest one being that you have to constantly die to self. Marriage is about compromise and you are not always going to be able to get your way. Sometimes your marriage is hard for external factors that nothing to do with either of you. We had three hard things hit our marriage before we had even been married five years, my MIL was sick and passed away, my husband didn’t like his job and we couldn’t pregnant and there was no reason given as to why. The test of a long standing marriage is being able to get to the other side of these hard times. Are you willing to put in the work when times are tough? Can you be compassionate when your spouse is going through, even when it doesn’t have anything to do with you?

Music Video Good As Hell GIF by Lizzo
giphy.com

5. Find other married friends. Our married friends have helped us so much. Its not even that they have said anything but just seeing their example has helped me a lot. Being inside of a marriage is different and while your single friends can certainly offer you advice, its nice to have a married person who may be able to potentially understand better what you are going through. My favorite are married moms. They are able to remind me that I am not doing as badly as I think. Is your friend group diverse? Are their people in a similar relationship space as you? Do you have people you can use as an example?

Los Angeles Lol GIF by NBA
giphy.com

Stay tuned I will give you another 5 tomorrow.

Until then,

Dominique

Have you noticed?

If you have been paying attention you would have noticed that I haven’t been doing my post on Fridays in quite a while. I used to feel very guilty about that. I don’t anymore. Times change and that isn’t a realistic goal right now. I still want to make sure I post every month. That’s not something I have accomplished yet in my years of blogging. We are almost half way through the year and I have continued to meet that goal so I feel good about that.

I have been focusing a lot on my mental health over the last year. It has been good. I have made a lot of strides. However as we have often talked about growth is not a straight line and it certainly doesn’t happen on our own time. Over the past few months, I feel like everything I have learned has been put to the test and I can’t say I necessarily passed each test with flying colors.

I will say that I have tried my best. I do recognize that I need to give myself grace. I need to have patience with my own process. Its hard though. My old perfectionist ways just refuse to die!

I Refuse Ayanna Pressley GIF
giphy.com

I had a lot of mental health stuff I wanted to discuss in April but it didn’t really happen. That’s ok. May is mental health awareness month so I will do it now.

It was hard for me to talk about mental health when I know I was sometimes running to my old coping mechanisms. There is space for that though. April was a good reminder that I am not a constant self improvement project. I don’t have to keep striving to the next thing. I can sit in this space and be satisfied with where I am right now.

I am enough, just because, I don’t have to be producing anything, I can just be.

I just want to remind you that, while you are growing and evolving, take time to celebrate that you aren’t what you used to be. Remember that God put everything inside you of that you need to be the best version of you. You are just peeling back the layers so it can be released. You are just fertilizing the soil so the seed inside of you can blossom.

Until next time,

Dominique

200th post

I have reached 200 posts! I am so excited. When I started this blog in 2017, I would have never thought I would reach 200 posts. I did. It was hard, scary, fun, nerve wrecking, I could go on and on but I loved it. Writing is something I always enjoyed since I was a kid but I didn’t know how I was going to pursue that as an adult. It was a dream, I put on a shelf. I am glad that I finally had the courage to pursue my dream and see where it could take me.

I have not had a year since this blog has been in existence that I have a post every month. I posted the second half of 2020. I only did a few posts in 2019 ( I was pregnant and had a baby). 2018 was my best year, 111 posts but I don’t think I posted every month. I don’t typically make resolutions but this year I will. Posting every month is a goal I am setting for myself this year.

I thank each and every one of you for your support. It makes me feel good that the words of my heart are able to impact so many people. People from all over the world read what I write and I am greatly honored by that.

I am excited to see where my writing will take me in 2021 especially because I am starting to take it more seriously.

I appreciate you all,

Dominique

Productivity is the thief of joy*

I make this statement tongue in cheek but follow my logic here.

I say this because on one hand productivity is great. We were made to get stuff done, not lay around all the time surfing Netflix and Instagram. On the other hand the constant need to be producing and getting stuff done can be a hinderance. Its a hinderance to rest, to enjoying the Sabbath, to enjoying your family and friends.

Last week was the first week in 6 months that I didn’t post at least one blog post. The work week I had was insane! Insane. I had a massive project that I needed to finish and I only had a week to get it done. So every night I was working late making sure everything was going to be complete by the deadline. It was! I finished with a little bit of time to spare. Unfortunately that spare time didn’t go to the blog. I need to celebrate the small win. Win: I set a goal back in June to post everyday and I was able to exceed that goal. That’s a good thing. I’m going to silence my inner critic. I’m going to give myself some grace for not meeting my goal this week and move on.

I talked about rest a few weeks ago. Toxic productivity knows nothing about rest. How often do you push yourself to get something done? How often do you feel that this thing just can’t wait? Do you enjoy your days off or are you rushing to complete to-do list items? A day off should be a day off. Even the Lord rested one day of the week and He certainly didn’t have to do.

Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.  By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.  Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done. Genesis 2:1-3

Being a creative and this concept of always producing, always putting out content, it makes the work more difficult. I want to make sure what I give to you is the best of me every time. Not perfect, but my best. That sometimes gets lost in translation, in trying to hit goals, deadlines, get more followers, sell more product or this urge to get stuff done.

@thenapministry Instagram

As we get close to the end of the year think about this: Did you spend more time producing or enjoying? Is there a way to do both? Do you believe you get enough rest? If not, this is the time to make those adjustments so you can go in the new year with a new habit in place.

Blogger Recognition Award

Thank you so much! I have never been nominated for a blogger award. I feel so seen. I was nominated by clear-reveal.com

The Rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you and give a link to their site.
  2. Do a post to show your award.
  3. Give a summary of how your blog started.
  4. Give two pieces of advice for any new bloggers.
  5. Select at least 15 other bloggers for this award.
  6. Let each nominee know you’ve nominated them and give a link to your post.

My blog started because I was running from what God was telling me to do. I was dealing with infertility at the time and God was telling me to tell my story and I didn’t want to do. I was too nervous, too embarrassed, too ashamed to share my story. I was starting to feel miserable because I wasn’t doing what I was told to do that finally I just got on WordPress and started writing. I got good feedback, so I kept going.

I wanted to write to a blog to help people grow in their relationship with God. I didn’t see anything that I really wanted to read, so as the quote says, I wrote it myself. I got over my fear and just decided to do it.

Write What You Want To Read – Kit Dunsmore's Blog

Two pieces of advice for new bloggers.

  • Don’t worry about numbers. The people who are supposed to read what you write will come. Continue to put in the work
  • Be consistent and intentional. Your readers want to hear from you. Even if its only 2x a month, be consistent in that. Writers write, so be intentional about sitting down and just doing it.

15 Bloggers that I am nominating.

Home Page

Home

How To Increase Your Blog Traffic Without Using Social Media

https://desirayl.wordpress.com/

https://writing-reading-living.com/

https://inspirelifee.com/

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/103904259/posts/2957058860

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/84443719/posts/2886708228

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/102350914/posts/2959969898

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/91993602/posts/2856793914

WordPress Help 2.0

I’m sorry I don’t have a post with fresh new content. WordPress updated its editing on how you post and I don’t know how to use it. I usually use WordPress on my phone, until the day of posting. I write the posts on my phone in my notes app and then I just share them to WordPress. I do the editing on my computer, adding the pictures, gifs, any final thoughts etc.

Think of how I was surprised I was to trying to edit a post this morning, like what is going on. I don’t even know how to add pictures anymore. (Update: I figured this out.)

I was going to try to push through, because you know…perfectionism. I’m not though.

I am going to admit, I don’t know how to do this and hopefully some of my fellow bloggers reading this will offer me some assistance.

I just figured out how to do this fancy quote thing. Definitely will be using ALL.OF.THE.TIME.

I still don’t know how to add links, but I’m figuring it out. I don’t have the time right now to play around with this but by next week, I will be back with fresh new content.

I appreciate your grace,

Dominique

PS- So after playing around with it more, I actually do like it, its just a lot and its going to take me some time to get used to all of it.


I thought I had a better plan

By nature I am a planner. However when I get an idea in my head I jump.

 parks and recreation idea parks and rec rob lowe lightbulb moment GIF

I immediately get into planner and execution mode. I pray but I don’t always wait for God to answer. I look for signs of what I want to do not necessarily what God wants me to do.

Earlier in quarantine I was feeling promptings from God but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it is. I thought I should start a podcast. So I immediately found a co-host.

positive do it GIF

A girl at church that I know from leadership classes who is funny and smart, young but most definitely a bible scholar. We discussed names, themes, etc.  I even did research  on how to start a podcast but I wasn’t feeling quite right about but I didn’t know why.

In bible study we were studying Jonah and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I knew better than God. If you are doing what God wants, there will be peace. God is not a God of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33   Jonah thought he knew better than God, that’s why he didn’t want to go Tarshish like God wanted him to. Jonah 1-2

Just like Saul in 1 Samuel 15. God told Saul to go kill everyone, leave nothing behind.  Saul thought he knew better and decided to save the king and all the best animals. He said he was going to give the best animals to God as a sacrifice. Sounds good, but that wasn’t his instruction from God.

I like this girl from church but I don’t know her that well. I didn’t know if we would vibe hosting a podcast.

Hip Hop Vibe GIF by FanmioDance Dancing GIF

I should have probably asked her to teach a Sunday school class with me first to see how we play off each other on a consistent basis. I should have done a lot of things differently but I wanted to start things right away. Its that microwave growth syndrome. I was supposed to call her a week later to discuss our research but I forgot, which isn’t like me at all. Forgetting to call her was a clear sign that I needed to rethink some things. It wasn’t meant to be right now. I know that because even though a podcast is a great idea and I am not opposed to doing one later, that isn’t what God told me to do. 

I know I you’re probably thinking that this isn’t that serious. What’s the big deal with starting a podcast? The big deal isn’t about the podcast. Its about not doing what God told me to do. Its thinking I knew more than God

Tv Land I Know Everything GIF by YoungerTV

I was really avoiding getting back into my blog. I can’t even say I had a good reason I was just scared. I was worried again about what people would think of me. I was worried that they would reject me the messenger because things I’ve done or things I have said. I am definitely not a holy roller. I felt having a co-host would take some of the heat off of me and my shortcomings.

I didn’t start the podcast instead I prayed. I asked God to give me strength and help me overcome my fear of what people think. Its always better to pray, first and move later.

all gifs from giphy.com

Resources

Jonah 1-2

1 Samuel 15

Making bible study interesting