Serving your enemies

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“If you do not serve the Lord your God with joy and enthusiasm for the abundant benefits you have received, you will serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you. You will be left hungry, thirsty, naked, and lacking in everything. The Lord will put an iron yoke on your neck, oppressing you harshly until he has destroyed you.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭28‬:‭47‬-‭48‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When I first read this verse with it being in the Old Testament I thought God was talking about real physical enemies. As I read the Bible and think about it how it applies to us today, I changed my mind. He was making this statement to the Israelites but there are things we can use today.

How are you serving the Lord? Are you serving the Lord at all? Are you doing what he asks you to do? How are you spending your time? How often do you get upset over the things you didn’t get or don’t have? How often do you re-play a problem over and over in your head?

What are your enemies? Not necessarily who. It’s not often I have human enemies. But I battle other enemies like overthinking, comparison, and anxiety. I can also be my own worst enemy. Every time we complain and forget all the blessings that God has given us we are serving our enemies. We will be left hungry for peace, thirsty for hope, lacking in strength.

Our enemies are like a yoke around our neck. These things will continue to weigh us down if we are not careful. When we focus on our problems and not on God we will be destroyed. Destroyed sounds harsh but when you are left with nothing that’s when you truly turn to God. I don’t want to get to that point and you don’t have to either.

Remember to count your blessings when you want to complain. Think of all the things that God has done for you and will continue to do for you if you only trust him. Make a list of all your answered prayers. This is a good reminder that if he did it before he can do it again.

Lessons learned as mom of 2

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I originally wrote this post September 10, 2022. It seems appropriate to post now that my youngest is now 1.

I have (mostly) let perfectionism go. When I had my older son I was still all about making sure my house was clean as possible, that I always looked presentable, that the baby looked presentable. This time around all that is out the window. My in laws came to see the baby and I ran out of time to clean everything, welp you get what you get.

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Babies arent as delicate as you think. This younger one is definitely not being treated with kid gloves like the older one was. He’s good lol

It really is easier the second time. Having the gift of experience did wonders for my anxiety.

People will help if you ask them but you gotta be specific. We’ll talk about this more but telling people exactly what we needed has made a big difference.

Take the time you need. Your partner surely will.

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Mom guilt is 2x stronger. I often feel like there is only so much of me to go around and everyone wants a piece. How do I combat that? Honestly I’m still figuring it out.

You can do hard things. Im breastfeeding this time and it has been going a lot better. Last time was so difficult and I gave up too soon. This time even though he didnt latch in the hospital, I decided to try again once we had been home about a week. He latched! I was so surprised. We just kept working at and we have been more successful.

Trust the process. I used this with breastfeeding. If you have breastfed or seen it happen you know can’t tell how much the baby is getting. When I was pumping before he latched I knew exactly how much he was getting. Now that its straight from the tap its harder to tell. I know there are signs to look out for but that doesn’t really help in the moment. For now I will take it one feed at a time.

Take things one day at a time. I’m a planner by nature and I had all these lists that I wanted to get done while I’m on maternity. I felt better this time sooner so I wanted to be productive. Nope! Keeping this baby alive is all the productivity I need for a while.

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Don’t forget your partner. Now that I have two children, my marriage ended up taking a back seat. My baby is one year and my husband and I went a long time this year without any real dates or consistent quality time. We had to have some hard conversations before we really started being intentional with one another again. Its easy to forget him, not because he isn’t great, but because I am trying to make sure that everything is done well and these kids are still alive, I don’t always prioritize the other adult here. That’s not fair to him. We will definitely talk about this more because its a work in progress.

The jump from 1 to 2 was crazy. I used to want three kids. What was I thinking?! I know people who have 3 or more kids so it can certainly be done. But having those kids out number adults just seems so hard to me. Now that I have two, I’m good. Now that my baby is 1 its easier, but when he was fresh, it was a lot of work.

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Don’t forget the self care. I am the first to admit I didn’t do well with self care this year. I know better. I haven’t read as many books, or had my quiet time, or written like I like too. But I will, I have the second half of the year to clean it up and I have started to. I got a massage, took myself to dinner, spent time with friends. I am getting there.

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You can do things a different way. My quiet time doesn’t look the same and hanging out with my girlfriends doesn’t look the same but that’s ok. As long as its happening, that is what counts.

Remember while you are being a mom, that you are also a wife, a friend, a daughter. I have the two children that I prayed for and it hasn’t always been easy but I wouldn’t change anything. Being a mom is the most rewarding and challenging thing I have ever done. Don’t lose yourself in your children, that’s not doing anybody any good.

Are you mom of 2 or more? Any advice or tips? Are you thinking about having more than one kid? Lets chat in the comments.

Until next time,

Dominique

When it rains it pours

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What do you do when it feels like you can’t catch a break? I feel like that right now. My older son just got out of the hospital a month a go. He’s been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that he will fight the rest of his life. He is 3 years old. It doesn’t seem fair that he should have to deal with this at such a young age. But he does.

The Word says God doesn’t make mistakes but it sure does feel like it sometimes. God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. Psalms 18:30 NLT

So what do you when it feels like you take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back?

Pray for strength.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 NLT

Remember Gods promises.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT

Reach out to your community for support.

I have been working really hard on not telling people “I am fine”. I am not. Trying to hold it all together is hard and isn’t getting me anything. I am trying to use my village as much as I can.

Continue your self care.

When you become a caregiver its easy to put yourself last. As a mom, its something I was already used to doing. It has only gotten worse, so I am trying to carve out little sections of time for myself. This is still a work in progress, lol.

Don’t stop praying and talking to God.

This has probably been the hardest of them. I love God but I don’t know if I like him very much right now. I am trying to maintain the relationship though. I know that God will give me strength to get through these hard times.

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. 1 Chronicles 16:11 NLT

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalms 73:26 NLT

I hope this helps you when you hit a rough times. Its a good reminder for me. I solicit your prayers as well, because we have a long way to go.

Until next time,

Dominique

A Birthday Prayer

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I pray that this is my best year yet. Abba, You promise that there is sunshine after the rain. I pray that you continue to walk in front of me and behind me. I pray every hurt while challenging will be for my good and that I see your goodness in the land of the living. I pray that it’s true that each year we grow wiser and that I won’t repeat the same mistakes. I pray that you show me how to tap into your unlimited resources. That I have the strength to walk away from what’s not good for me. I pray for an abundance of love, joy, peace, strength and wisdom. I definitely feel like I have suffered a little while, I am ready to be restored, supported and strengthened. Abba, I trust that each year you are moving me closer to my purpose and that I am walking in the plans you have for me. I thank you for keeping me and your ways being higher than my ways. In your sons name, I pray. Amen.

In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:10 NLT

My birthday as always was great, it just felt like a little black cloud was following me around. I know trouble doesn’t last always. Praise God!

Until next time,

Dominique

Boy mom

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Originally written 3/22/22

I found out on International Women’s Day that I was having a boy. So many emotions went through me and none of them were excitement. Yes I’m happy I’m having another baby. Yes this baby is healthy and strong. But I can’t say I didn’t want a girl. I never pictured myself as a boy mom. I do not like the things traditionally prescribed to boys. I felt like God was thinking I wasn’t a good enough woman to have a daughter. I know logically that isn’t true. But it sure is hard when you’re praying up and down for a girl and that doesn’t happen.

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It’s hard not to take it personal. Gods ways are higher than mine though. I always come back to the verse of those who hope in the Lord won’t be disappointed. When I had my first son I felt a way at first. But he is the light of my life. He is so funny, so energetic, so full of life. He is not afraid of anything. He is always up for an adventure. He is 2 going on 12. I am not disappointed. I know when his brother gets here I’ll love on him too.

Before I knew I was having a boy I was walking around in pink, manifesting things, calling the baby a girl, doing everything to convince God that I knew what was best for our family.

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I’m the kind of person that needs a reason, so I like to believe that I don’t have a daughter of my own so I can pour into other young women and girls. So I can birth a book, so I can mother myself. Knowing that I can still impact a young girls life, does make me feel better.

Raising a black man in these times is hard. I’m grateful that God saw something in me that believes I’m capable of the job. Yes I know my husband will play a role in that but this isn’t about him right now. Lol

The biggest thing for me is adjusting the way I thought my life was going to look. I always imagined one boy and one girl. Girl first because that’s the dynamic I have in my family. I think that’s what gender disappointment is all about, mourning the life you had previously envisioned.

Now that my 2nd son is here I know God made the right decision. He fits into our family perfectly.

Until next time,

Dominique

I’m back

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Hey friends! Its been a while. Much longer than I ever thought I would go without writing a post but a lot of life has happened since my last post 9 months ago…. I had a baby boy!

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For those of you that have been here from the beginning the fact that I can say I have two kids is simply amazing. Five years ago I didn’t think I could have one. God truly does twice the work in half the time.

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My new little boy has been such a pleasure. This year has been one of the hardest I’ve had in a long time. I lost not only the motivation to write but the inspiration.

What inspires me? Typically any and everything. Pop culture, sermons, podcasts, conversations with friends. None of it was doing it for me this time. It doesn’t help that church is still virtual even though its back in person.

I also lost my favorite uncle, and another one less than 6 months later, everyone in my family had Covid and this pregnancy while producing a healthy infant, was much harder this time. That’s just to name a few things that happened… It all got to be too much.

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I love writing. But its also work and I just didnt have it in me to do any more work. You know how you haven’t talked to someone in long time and its gets harder and harder to call them and eventually you’re like, well, out of sight, out of mind.

Thats how it was with writing, although it doesnt really work that way. Writing has always been in the background hovering, waiting patiently for me to get myself together.

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Well I’m back. I think I’ve been on break long enough. I need to do some more self care and writing is one of them. I hope I can persuade you to come back and keep reading.

You’ll definitely notice some changes, one thing I’ve learned while being away is the continued desire to be 100 all the time. I was worried before about how people would perceive what I had to say but now I dont really care anymore. Love me or leave me alone.

Until next time,

Dominique

It takes a village

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I’ve heard the saying many times that it takes a village to raise a child. Before I had my own child I knew it made sense but I didn’t have an opportunity to put it in practice.

The thing they don’t tell you about in using your village there is a level of vulnerability there. Yall know how I feel about being vulnerable. It makes me nervous, lol.

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I’m everything in this gif when I leave my kid with someone. I’m happy and excited because I’m thinking freedom! lol.

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If I leave my kid with you then I open myself to your opinions, guidance and criticism. People love to give new moms unsolicited advice. I also have to trust that you have my babies best interest in mind just like I do. I have to hope you aren’t judging him and by proxy judging me.

Being a parent is often about second guessing every decision you make.

My village has shrunk quite significantly this year. That’s another place where vulnerability comes in. I’m going to have to ask people I may not normally ask if they can watch LJ. I may have to bother people. I hate bothering people. I don’t want anyone to help me out of obligation as. Ultimately though it’s not about my feelings. Its about what’s best for my kid.

I know that its good that my village has spread out across the country. This has huge advantages for myself and my son.

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I wish I had multiple people around to get opinions from when I was a kid. My son will have that. He will have places to visit, lesson to learn, adventures to be had all over the country. He will have tons of people to pour love into him and see him in a way that sometimes his parents won’t be able to.

I reminded a friend and myself, that a baby is just on loan from God. He trusted me to take care of him but ultimately He is the one helping me provide the best care for my child. I’m not doing it alone.

And so I am sure confident that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it on until it is finished on the Day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

This verse is the perfect reminder that no matter how big or small my village my child will be ok. Not because of me but because of God.

Until next time,

Dominique

Is God tired of my prayer?

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Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. Isaiah 40:28 NLT

God will never get tired of your prayers. He isn’t like us. He is slow to anger. Time to God is not like time to us. He wants us to be persistent. You can ask the same thing as much as you want. Continuously praying keeps you focused on him.

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Is this how you think God is listening to your prayer? Shaq might be irritated but God isn’t.

As you continue to pray your prayers will shift because you can’t be in constant communication with God and not be changed. Its not possible.

If you are going to have peace, you have to stay focused on God. When you stop praying the discouragement sets in. That’s why we are told to pray without ceasing.

Does God say stop praying if we don’t get what we want? From my research I don’t think he does. Maybe you need to change the question. But staying in constant communication with the Lord about your troubles, fears, desires is never a bad thing.

So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for [a]bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:9-13

Somebody once said to me when I was praying for a baby, “maybe God wants you to pray for something else or he is tired of that prayer”. At the time I followed that advice but looking back, I don’t think that was true.

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There are no examples in the bible of God telling people to stop praying. Or pray about something else. Joyce Meyer says get yourself off your mind. I don’t think that is a bad idea. Getting myself off my mind definitely helped me stop feeling sorry for myself. But I wouldn’t say stop asking God for that thing but make sure you add in other peoples prayer requests as well.

Here is a story of in the bible a persistent widow. Jesus told this story in Luke to remind us to be persistent. If that terrible judge didn’t care about anyone gave that woman what she wanted, what would our father in heaven do?

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

1Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:1-8

Remember to not put human characteristics on God. Keep talking to him, keep persisting, just remember to pray for other people in your situation as well.

Until next time,

Dominique

Resources

https://bible.com/bible/116/isa.40.28.NLT https://www.gotquestions.org/pray-repeat.html

3 Reasons to Keep Praying About the Same Thing

How to remember God’s promises

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I have this picture on my phone as the lock screen saver.

Dominque and Jesse, May 2018, photo by Marcus Jackson

This is one of the maternity pics from when I was pregnant with my son. Secondary infertility is something that makes me really nervous. I try not to worry but now that my son is almost three and people continue to ask when are we having the next one, not being able to get pregnant lingers in the back of my mind. I know in theory I can get pregnant, I have been before but circumstances can make you feel different. Even other peoples circumstances make me nervous. I also unfortunately know several people who have had miscarriages. I know their situation isn’t mine, but it doesn’t help me feel any better.

Putting that picture on my phone and seeing it every time I pick my phone up has helped me feel much better. It made start thinking about other things I could do to remember God’s promises to me.

  1. See if you can find a visual image to use as a screen saver on your phone. Maybe its a picture of a house you plan to buy, maybe its a car, it can be anything that serves as a reminder to what God told you.
  2. I started looking through my journal for other times God has answered my prayer. Rather big or small. If he is faithful in small things, he will be faithful in big things too. If you don’t keep a journal start making a list daily of all the prayers God has answered. Its a great reminder of what he can do.
  3. I pulled up verses in the bible app on trust.
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There were a ton of verses, so I try to read those every morning before I get out of bed and every night before I go to sleep.

4.I put a reminder on my phone of the promise. This is a great idea that I got from bloomingboldly.blogspot.com. One of my alarms says God loves me.

5. Read/Listen to books, devotionals, podcasts, sermons, songs. Anything that can remind you of the promise. You know my go tos right now. Sarah Jakes Roberts, Steven Furtnick. I put two examples below. Check them out, they always encourage me.

I have mentioned many times that God is not going to play you. Constantly reminding yourself of the promise that he made to you, is great way to stop a worry spiral, a whatif parade. He loves you and knows the desires of your heart. Never forget that.

Until next time,

Dominique

Resources

https://bloomingboldly.blogspot.com/2017/07/5-ways-to-remember-gods-promises.html

Is God Mad at Me?

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The short answer is NO.

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I know it may feel like that sometimes, or even a lot of times depending on what you may be going through. I know when I couldn’t get pregnant, I thought God was mad at me for being selfish, or mad at me for not following instructions, or mad at me for not doing enough.

I have friends who think God is holding a grudge against them from some sin they committed years ago but that isn’t true either.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Those verses are from Psalm 103. This was written by King David. A man after God’s own heart. He also committed adultery and killed a man to try and cover it up. Not exactly the actions of a person who is in favor with God. It’s true though. Even after the terrible things he did, God continued to bless him.

David points out some things we need to remember.

  1. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, SLOW to anger, abounding in love. The thing you think is mad at he probably isn’t. It takes him a long time to get mad. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 2 Peter 3:8
  2. He does not treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities. God isn’t petty.
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One of my favorite verses is God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? Numbers 23:19 We put human attributes on God so we can better understand his greatness but sometimes that gets blurry. God isn’t trying to get you, he doesn’t want you to feel bad. There are consequences for your actions but they don’t last forever.

3. As far as the heavens are from Earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. If you know nothing else know that God loves you, a lot, a lot. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can separate us from God’s love, nothing!

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4. As far as east is from west, he has removed our transgressions. Think about how far east is from west. You can’t measure it. Its not possible. If you have asked for forgiveness, then you are forgiven.

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Don’t let your circumstances have you doubting God’s character. Keep praying, keep believing, remember the promises he made to you.

We’ll talk next about how to remember God’s promises.

Talk to you soon,

Dominique