Author Archives: alwaysfindingthesilverlining

Traps that will keep you from being successful

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We all want to be successful but sometimes we get in our own way. Pay careful attention of these traps because they can sneak up on you and you not even realize that you’re doing it.

Comparing
Taking time to compare yourself to someone else, even to your old self it gets you off track with your goals. It takes the focus off what you need to be doing and puts it back on you. Comparison has us working backwards when we should be focused on our future. Comparing is often the easiest trap to fall in because it can start off good. You see a person doing better than you and its motivation. However, the longer you compare, the longer you are away from your goals.

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.“
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭4‬ ‭NLT‬

Comparison kills spiritual growth. – John Ortburg

Complaining-this will also keep you stuck. Complaining puts the focus on your problem and not on God. It adds fuel to a fire of destruction. It also keeps you in a pit and nothing productive happens in the pit. You can vacation in the pit because sometimes you need the break to wallow a bit but you can’t live there. Complaining also tells God that he can’t help you. Complaining isn’t solution oriented it’s another form of wallowing. Are you praying about it? God will help you when you’re ready to move.

”Do everything without complaining and arguing,“
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Complacency– this one is more tricky because there is power in standing still and taking in a moment. You can bloom where you’re planted.  There is a season for everything including rest. What season are you in? Have you been there too long? Is it time to shift? Have you been planning and organizing for months? Maybe it’s time to take action. God’s word always compels us to move so if you haven’t in a while you may want to check back in with him.

I’m not stuck unless I stop moving-Steven Furtick

”And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.“
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ ‭

Which of the Three Cs gives you the most trouble?
What’s one way you can move forward?

Prayer: Father, thank you for helping us be successful. Thank you for not only success in a physical sense but mentally as well. Thank you for always helping us. Thank you for grace when we get trapped and helping us find a way out. Thank you for not condemning us and always being patient. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Legacy

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What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

The legacy I want to leave behind is one of significance and impact. My pastor talks all the time about being significant vs being successful. Being successful is often about making a lot of money which is cool but I want to also change lives.

I want to leave behind words that will change people, that will inspire and encourage them to be the best version themselves.

I talk about God a lot on my blog and not because I’m some kind of Jesus freak but because I want people to know that to be the best version of themselves they need God to help them.

It’s not about rules and regulations but relationship with Him.

I hope my legacy is one of empowerment and growth, instilling confidence in people and leading them to God or back to him in a way that seems accessible in folks everyday lives.

I want my legacy to show people that if I can achieve my dreams, then they can too. It’s about knowing that with faith, determination, and the right mindset, anything is possible. My journey hasn’t been easy, but through the highs and lows, my faith has kept me grounded and driven.

Ultimately, I want my life to be a testament to the transformative power of faith and perseverance. I want people to see that true significance comes from positively impacting the lives of others, and that success is not just measured by what we gain, but by what we give. My hope is that through my words and actions, I can leave a lasting legacy that reflects the love, grace, and strength that comes from a life lived with purpose and faith.

Focus on your strengths

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“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I asked God to do this for me as I was working through and trying to find peace. I focus so heavy on fixing my weaknesses and wanting to be better. If I can work on those then I will be better. That isn’t true though and it wasn’t what God wanted me to do. When I asked him to point out anything in me that offends him.
He said: why do you keep trying to improve on the model that I made?

It’s a fair question and one I hadn’t considered before. If I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Why do I need to fix myself?  There isn’t anything wrong with me. God gave me this verse and it makes a lot of sense.

You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭17‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I like it. From this point forward I’m going to work on building my strengths instead of fixing my weaknesses. As I build on my strengths my weaknesses will have no choice but to get better. Plus focusing on strengths lead with compassion and I don’t always do that with myself. If God can find nothing wrong with me who am I to tell him he’s wrong.

List 3 things you do well. How can you build on those strengths?

Prayer: Father as we work to get better, help us change our mindset. Continue to renew our minds as we fight not to believe the devils lies. Remind us we were made in your image and you make no mistakes. You work everything out for our good because we believe in you. Thank you for clarity and new perspectives. In Jesus name. Amen.

Need strength?

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Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.
‭‭1 Chronicles‬ ‭16‬:‭11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Continually seek him. That means try to be in his presence as much as you can. Strength is something that God said he would give us if we ask him. Gods strength is different than ours. His strength will take us further than ours ever will. He wants you to call on him. We are not meant to manage things on our own. If we are in constant communication with God we will get not only his strength, but bonuses of his joy, his peace, his protection. There won’t be room for worry, fear and doubt.

How do we do that? How do we search for the Lord? I try to see God in everything I do. In the music I listen to, the movies and shows I watch, the books I read, the places I go, in everything. I ask the age old question of What would Jesus do? I try to have dedicated quiet time with him 3 to 4 times a week. I attend a weekly Bible study. I read my bible everyday.  I go to church, not just watch it online. I try to talk to him several times a day.

It’s work to continually seek the Lord. But When you are looking for him, you are missing the other stuff. The stuff that makes you stressed or leaves you afraid or distracts you.

Where in your life do you need the Lord’s strength? Are you still trying to power through by yourself? Ask him to step in and help you. Take a few minutes and write down where you need the Lord to give you strength this week.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭28‬:‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Prayer: Father we ask for your strength. Strength that knows no bounds.Your strength leads us to peace, freedom, joy. You say you will go before us so we do not have to dismay. You will bring us victory. With you, we are more than conquerors. Remind us without you, we can do nothing. Thank you for making our ways perfect. Thank you for protection. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

To my educators in the final stretch

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Hey there!

I know you are tired. I know you have been working hard. I know it feels like the kids are more aphathetic than ever. I get it. It’s hard to care about wanting them to succeed more than they do. It’s hard to go over the same information over and over again to fall on death ears.

When times get rough and burnout seems eminent, try to do this. Remember your why. I know that seems simple but take a few minutes and think of your successes.
Of that kid who you had to drag across the finish line but they come back now and see you and they are a functioning member of society. You helped do that. Think of that student that hated school but now has a college degree. You helped do that. Think of that student who got out in the real world and decided they might want to make some different decisions about college and career. You helped do that too.

It may feel like what you are saying is falling on deaf ears but the seeds you plant now will harvest later. One of my old students came back five years after graduation so I could help them. You are a now a trusted resource for years to come. Take pride in that.

Less than 2 weeks and seniors across the country will be graduating. When is the last time you had a day off? Spring break? When is the last time you had some self care? Have you had a minute to breathe?

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take some time to yourself and reflect on all the good you have done. I know the bad things stick out but you wouldn’t do what you do if there was more bad than good. When a kid asks you the same question you already answered for the 30x take solace in the fact that he will probably be running some cooperation one day.

If you can, take the summer rest, relax and recharge. The work you do matters, the students you serve matter, you are doing a job that not everyone can or wants to do. Your hard work will pay off even if you can’t see it right now. Who know’s maybe someone will name a fictional school after you.

Until next time,

Dominique

Answers for an overwhelmed mom

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Happy Mother’s Day

I once read a devotional called overwhelmed by my blessings. I can’t recall a more true statement for moms. On this Mother Day’s I wanted to reflect on the fact, that this is the hardest job that you have ever had that you don’t have a manual for. It doesn’t matter how many kids you, ever kid is different so it feels like you are starting over every time. A new mama reached out to me about how to deal with being overwhelmed and I thought it would be a good conversation to share.

Q: What helped your perspective when you were overwhelmed as mom and wife? Is it true that time really does help ? 

A:For me it was a combination of things.

Time definitely helps. Each day will eventually get easier. You and your baby will catch a rhythm so it will become to feel like second nature.

Prayer I literally had to tell God I was I struggling and stop trying to push through. Often times we put our heads down and just do, but that only works for so long.

Talking to like minded people. I had to be a little vulernable. Hearing that other moms were dealing with similar issues helped a lot. It made me feel less like I was doing a bad job or couldn’t hack it. 

Finding things that poured into me or bring me joy . I follow accounts on social media that make me laugh. I also learned in leadership class to have mini kit that you can pull out when you need a pick me up. Mine is the favorites album on my phone. I love looking at pictures of nature and clouds and that instantly lifts my mood. I also put my favorite songs on a playlist so I can get to them quickly. 

Taking some time for myself I am still working on this. But its something I will continue to prioritize. It is hard but necessary. I hate not being there with my boys but they have another parent and some times I have to tap out. I can’t do everything and I have to learn to be ok with that. 

Moving through grief

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I wrote this post in August 2022

I started and stopped this post several times, but this time I finally finished. I’m sharing this so you may have some insight in why I have been so sporadic in my posting over the last few years.

Grief is such a hard emotion to process. It was especially hard for me to process because I had no experience. I have never lost anyone before who wasn’t old. Losing those people was hard but I found solace in the fact that they lived long lives and it was time for them to go home.

I have suffered two loses in 2021 and 2022, less than a 6 months apart and it has been difficult. My favorite uncle passed away right before my birthday unexpectedly. It was awful. I can’t even drive to my hometown without thinking about him. ( this has gotten better) He taught me how to drive. I think about him randomly all the time. I didn’t even manage to get through this post without crying and I hate crying. (Didn’t make it this time either lol)

My mother in law passed away when she was young. I was even younger and she was the first, “young” person I knew that had passed away. I wasn’t caught in my own grief though I had to help my husband in all the practical ways that come when someone dies. She died in November and I don’t think I felt the pain of her death until her birthday in February, which was months later. It will be ten years this year and sometimes it still feels like it just happened.

I tried to write this months ago but I couldn’t. It’s wild because in the time it took me to stop and start this another one of uncles passed away. He was sick but I know plenty of people who have cancer and get better right? He didn’t. We went from a family of 4, down to 2 in 5 months.

I didn’t think I had the right to be sad, not like my mother who lost 2 of her older brothers or my brother who lost the only father figure he knew. Or my grandma who lost 2 kids back to back. But we had our own special relationship too and that should honored. Its so hard losing someone in pandemic times. Everyone is losing or lost someone. I didn’t want to burden anyone because it’s been hard on everybody. I feel better now. Mostly. (Even better now)

I haven’t really been able to write and I was wondering why? It has been a very hard year. Some ups but it feels like a lot of downs. Through all of this I have been grateful because God has kept me.

I try to write posts that are informational or encouraging or motivating but today I dont have any of that. I will say if you are grieving you will eventually feel better. (I do feel better)

What gives you direction in life?

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”The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.“

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT

Two things give me direction in life, one is the Lord, two is my purpose or my why.

The Lord seems like an obvious choice but sometimes I feel like he is a background character in people’s lives or a relative they only see on Sundays. If they do that.

He gives me direction because we talk everyday. I consult him before I make decisions. Not in the middle, of after things go wrong but before, during the planning process.

I allow time for him to give me ideas and I’m also open to his feedback. I do that by reading my Bible and not feeling my head with things that could take up space and crowd out what God is trying to say.

My why keeps me grounded when things get are hard. When I’m in a tough season, I know the work I’m doing isn’t fruitless because it will eventually pay off. The seeds I’m planting now are falling on fertile ground.

When I tap into my why it helps me prioritize what’s important and what’s not. Is this decision getting me closer to my goals? Will this action help future me or hinder her?

I know you probably see godly in that verse and think oh I’m not good enough for God to direct my steps but that isn’t true. If you are open to Him, he takes you as you are. He just wants you to accept the invitation.

Do you feel like you don’t know your purpose? Read this post I wrote about finding your purpose.

If you feel like you don’t know God very well just ask him to come in. He is always there, waiting for you.

Do you really believe it will happen?

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Then Jesus said to the disciples, “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.“
‭‭Mark‬ ‭11‬:‭22‬-‭24‬

Do you? What are you asking God for, a relationship, a job, a business plan, a book? Do you truly believe that he will help you or are you allowing past experiences to color your experience with God? Has God ever not come through? I know I’ve been disappointed by some of His decisions. However I could see the good in them. I know his no was for my protection. I know God isn’t setting me up to fail and I know he won’t play me.

Who are you going to believe? Your doubts and circumstances? Or are you going to believe the One that cannot fail? We talked about telling God what you need. Have you asked him to increase your faith? Ask him to help you in your unbelief. He doesn’t get angry when we do that.

Prayer: Father I pray for all of us who struggle to believe your promises. I pray that you help us in our unbelief. Help us wait on you and trust tour timing. Help us remember everything is for our good because you love us. Remind us there is a time for everything and hard seasons don’t last. Please lighten our load so we can focus on you. We thank you for having good plans for us and wanting us to prosper. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭23‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Even there

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Even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. Psalm 139:10

When David wrote this Psalm he said if he went to the depths of the sea or top of the mountains God would be with him. It sounds lovely, poetic even but not exactly practical.

Even though we are focusing on verse 10. David is telling us we can have comfort in Gods strength, presence, steadfastness. Read the entire Psalm when you get some time. It’s really good.

How do I make this verse more practical for me? I find a way to insert myself into the verse by creating a fill in the blank. This one is perfect because he isn’t talking about a specific place, it’s vague enough to apply to anyone.

Even there.

Fill in your word. Even at work your hand will guide me, even in a presentation your hand will guide me. Even in a difficult conversation your hand will guide me. Even in uncertainty your hand will guide me. Even receiving bad news, your strength will support me. His strength not ours. God is always with us, there is no person, place or thing that can change that.

What’s your there?

Prayer: Abba remind us that promise to always be with us, no matter the circumstances. You promise to guide us, strengthen us and bear our burdens. Thank you for never being far away. You surround us with your presence. Thank you for being in control and answering our prayers. In Jesus name I pray amen.