Author Archives: alwaysfindingthesilverlining
Now that quarantine is over
I am in an interesting space as we come out of strict quarantine and summer is upon us. Summer definitely looks different with COVID-19 and protesting happening all across the country. I saw tons of memes on my social media about if you didn’t come out quarantine having accomplished something then you were just lazy. I just don’t believe that to be true. Thankfully someone agreed because they changed it. This one makes a lot more sense.
reddit.com
If I am being honest. I have not completed a ton of projects in the 2 months that we were forced to stay. Posting again was one of the things I wanted to accomplish, so Yay me! for getting that done.
I just felt really stuck with not working in the traditional sense, and my baby and husband being here and the days rolling together.
I had been feeling really off spiritually for a while, and that’s another thing that quarantine helped me get on track. I have attended more Sunday school and bible study than I ever would have if we were not in quarantine.
I felt bad though. I was spending too much time on Hulu, social media and reading books. I was having a mini vacation from the world and seeing other people have something tangible to show for their quarantine efforts really bothered me.
In my noon day bible study that I go to, she told us to go back and read your old journals to see where God has brought you from. It wasn’t really a pleasant experience, like I see God answering prayers but I also see a lot of heartache. I also decided to go back and read some of my old blog posts. There are over a 100 so it was more a skim, but I came across this one. Its one of the first posts I did and it talks about the name I picked for the blog. That was three years ago and I am still having this same problem. I talk about being stuck in research mode instead of just taking the leap and doing the thing you said you were going to do.
I sat down about 6 weeks ago and laid out my plan of my hearts desires. I asked God to be with me in those plans because there a lot of things my heart desires. After I wrote them down and prayed some more I put dates that I wanted to accomplish them. I continued to pray about those things in my quiet time until my Pastor preached a sermon on fear. Click the link. It’s really good you should watch it. It had a lot of great points but the one that stuck with me is we need to quit praying and move! I felt like God had slapped me, like, Hey, I’m talking to you! All this research and worrying, you are not going to get anything done. Just do it!
Then I had a conversation with my friends one Sunday after a nature walk (more on that in a later post) about pursing your passions and how much people pay for content, how to get things done and my mind was blown. I left so inspired! So ready to hit the ground running.
My next few posts will be about pursuing your passions and how to ensure you accomplish the goals you set. Stay tuned!
p.s-COVID-19 is still a thing, wear a mask.
This may have been in March but its still relevant.
10 ways to have peace in turbulent times
- Start your day in prayer and devotion. This will set you up for success. You can give anything that you are worrying about to God and thank him for all he has done. You can walk into your day/work with a sense calm and strength. This way you can take on anything!
- Don’t get on social media during the work day. At the very least wait until after lunch.I know this can be hard because social media typically provides an escape but not right now. Too much is happening in the world.
- If you have to go on social media, stay out of the comment section! The comments are were you are going to see the wildest things. People have no chill in the comments and you don’t want to be a part of that. Its going to instantly make you mad.
- Remind yourself that you don’t have to teach everyone. We are dealing with adults on a day to day basis, you don’t have to school everybody. You can provide a list of resources and remind them that Google is free everyday.
- Consider the source. Before you go and get mad at some random person on the internet remember that they probably don’t know you personally and if they do, this the perfect opportunity to block them. I went and unfollowed a bunch of people that didn’t serve me anymore and it has done wonders to my timeline. I very rarely see things that I don’t agree with. I understand that it is important to see views that are different than my own. However, peace of mind is priceless.
- Pray. When do you come across something that makes you angry or frustrated. You don’t have to hold on to it. Release it back into the atmosphere. Ask God to help you get over whatever foolishness you just witnessed.
- Find something else to entertain you besides the news and social media. Ride a bike, walk outside, yoga. In the world of COVID-19 we are not able to be as social as we normally would, so now would be a great time to find a new hobby. If you can find something that is free even better.
- Journal. Writing how you feel about whats going on in the world is a great way to get it out. You can even write it down and burn it later. I talk about how cathartic it is to burn things in this post, Burn it away
- Reach out to a friend or family member to help lift your spirits. Being in a funk by yourself is never a good idea. You may not be able to see them in person but talking things out with someone is better than holding it in.
- Watch, read or listen to something funny or light-hearted that will lift your spirits.
This my son LJ and my dog son Hunter. Don’t they look so peaceful.
I know that these are crazy times. Between COVID- 19 STILL running rampant in the streets and the many injustices facing Black people, its a lot going on right now. You have to choose how much you want to be dialed in. Its perfectly ok to step back, take a break, and re-calibrate. There will always be work to do but you can’t serve if you don’t have peace within yourself. That leads to burnout. We don’t want that. Your voice is needed.
Cover image from The Practical Path
What ways are you taking care of yourself right now? Is there anything missing from this list? Let me know.
Small beginnings
Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin Zechariah 4:10
This is one of my favorite verses in the bible its a little known book in the bible. Zechariah is one of the minor prophets.
This verse applies to so much of what is happening right now. As Black Lives Matters protests continue to happen across the country we are starting to see some changes.
One Instagram account pullupforchange has been having major corporations post their number of employees, executives, to show how diverse they were or not. This may seem like a small thing but its huge! In posting how many black employees they have this not only allowing them to be reflective in their business practices but explore any implicit bias they may have. This move could potentially lead to real change at many of these organizations. Many have already come up with a plan to review hiring practices to allow more black people and people of color to work at the top level of their company.
Corporations having to let people know they have work to do is the first way for us to fight systemic racism. I just read that Aunt Jemima will finally be getting a new logo for its syrup and pancake/waffle mix. This is great. Its about time. I always thought it was weird that a company run by and founded by white people had a old black woman as its “mascot”.
Some people feel that’s it too little, too late. They wonder why these things weren’t done before. This isn’t the first time that people have complained about the lack of diversity. I have read comments online like why does it matter now? Just because something has always been a certain way, doesn’t mean it needs to stay that way.
Change has to start somewhere. Any step towards progress is still a step. Change doesn’t happen overnight and if we turn our nose up at small change then it can become more difficult to make big changes.
Cancel culture
My number 1 choice for tv inspiration would be Joyce Meyer. You guys know she is my favorite. I have read several of her books and I even saw her in person over the summer (for free!). My second choice would be Rick Warren. I would say he is my pastor’s favorite. Lately though I’ve been looking for something else. Just a different voice. I came across Steven Furtnick on YouTube. I really enjoyed the sermon I watched. He was young and fresh. Different than the preachers I’ve watched in the past. So of course I start to research him on Google. I was surprised to find several disparaging articles. Now granted they are 5+ years old but still. Everybody is a critic nowadays and when you are in the public eye it can be even worse. I don’t know what to do.
Should I continue to listen to his message or do I take the critics seriously? In the world of cancel culture its easy to write someone off. What would you do?
I wrote the first two paragraphs back in February before the Black Lives Matter protests starting happening even before COVID-19. Does it feel like there was a time before COVID-19?
Cancel culture has gotten even bigger in the face of Black Lives Matter. People are cancelling celebrities left and right as they come out saying all kinds of things.
Once a person is cancelled do they get to be redeemed? One example would be Kanye West. I LOVED Kanye West when I was younger, his music was great and it spoke to the people. Remember this?
I saw that happen live! It was amazing. It was what a lot of us were thinking at the time and he just said it. However, that Kanye left us and was replaced by this guy.
Kanye has definitely been cancelled by many of his fans. Myself included. I have not listened to a Kanye album in a long time. Recently however, Kanye has donated 2 million dollars to support the families of George Floyd, Breona Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/04/entertainment/kanye-west-two-million-dollar-donation/index.html
How awesome is that?!
It is amazing and I am very proud of him for doing that. The question remains…Is he still cancelled?
I’m still on the fence. I need to see more from Kanye before I make a decision on that or not.
The one thing missing in all my observations is GRACE. When we think about cancelling people, or not listening to their message because of one mistake they make, what kind of person does that make us?
Do we take into consideration what might have been going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about?
As we consume content and products out here in the world, where do we draw the line?
Ask yourself what matters to you as you watch people/corporations make their statements about Black Lives Matter. Do their actions back up with what they are saying? Are they ready to truly change their ways? Have they learned anything? Does the action feel genuine?
Remember that everyone is redeemable. Just as quickly as we cancel someone, remember they can be un-cancelled as well.
10 things I’ve learned since becoming a mother
1. Empathy- no one helps. People literally watch you struggle. I never noticed this before. Being a mom has shown me how to express feelings outside of myself and better understand other people’s emotions.
2. Patience- with myself, family, friends, the baby, its crazy. Patience was a big lesson I needed to learn. If I would have become a mother earlier in my life I wouldn’t have gained this skill set. Listening to babies cry or throw their bottle at you, patience is what you need.
3. Dont compare- to my old self, to my husband, to other moms, nobody. I thought the biggest comparison would be to other moms but I was definitely wrong on that. More on this in another post.
4. Be humble. Motherhood is nothing like I expected. I didnt have a ton of expectations but what I thought I knew I definitely was wrong. You can’t find all the answers on Google. It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and judge what you would do when it isn’t your kid but having a kid of your own changes things.
5. I can do more on less sleep than I thought. So little sleep. Its insane. I used to love taking a nap but now I just do without. Nap when the baby naps is really a lie. Lol
6. It’s ok to say I dont know what I’m doing or admit I messed up. Once I started talking to people about my feelings I realised I wasn’t the only person going through that or thought that way. Moms are expected to have all the answers and that’s just not the case. Lots of things are intuitive but not everything and it was nice to admit that.
7. I have to be intentional about my self care. Writing, alone time, spending time with my friends, all of it has to be intentional or it won’t happen. I hate to admit but I’m better about spending time with my friends than with myself sometimes.
8. Water truly does a body good. I have heard this but I never tested it out myself until I was pregnant and after. The rumours are true. I had to drink it when I was pregnant and the results were great. I’m trying to get back to that space.
9. I will receive tons of unsolicited advice and opinions. I most often bite my tongue. Ive gotten much better about this than when he was first born. People are just trying to help. Their intentions are good. More on this in another post.
10. Everything has changed. I am ok with that. I have been trying so hard to be the person I was before but that girl is gone. A new better person is emerging.
I am stronger than I think I am.
My son just turned one. The hardest thing to put into practice is the self care. Its so easy to put yourself on the back burner when you have a kid.
I can expand on just about everything on this list. So much of this can be unpacked. I will in the upcoming months.
Black lives matter
O our God, won’t you stop them? We are powerless against this mighty army that is about to attack us. We do not know what to do, but we are looking to you for help.” 2 Chronicles 20:12 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/2ch.20.12.NLT When I read this verse I immediately thought of Black Lives Matter. I don’t typically get political or overly racial because I want everyone to feel comfortable when they come to my page. The Lord doesn’t see color but we all do. I am not trying to offend anyone and if you are offended you should ask yourself why. Black people are up against a powerful army that is steadily killing us and it is racism. As protests break out across the country we need everyone to join together to fight for justice. We dont all need to protest but we all can do something.
The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective, but as my pastor says put feet on those prayers. Donations are an excellent way to assist without having to be on the front lines.
As all this civil unrest happens ask yourself what can I do? What role do I play as history is being made? What skills has God placed in me that I can use for the betterment of others?
Talk to your friends, family and church members about racism. People try to hide their racism behind biblical rhetoric. Don’t let them. Don’t let people tell you they are color blind. That’s not good either! There is nothing wrong with seeing color, just respect people’s differences. Its ok for us to be different. God made each of us unique.
We each need to ask God how can we contribute to making the world a better. How are you helping in your community? At your church? At your job? Racial conversations can be uncomfortable but we are called by God to be better, to be examples, to be leaders. You may be the only example that someone sees. Don’t feel discouraged if you dont think your message was recieved. We are in the seed planting business, God reaps the harvest. In other words we are not responsible for the consequences only to give the information. So I implore you…
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
Romans 12:9 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/rom.12.9.NLT
Action steps and resources
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/color-blindness-is-counterproductive/405037/
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/support-the-black-lives-matter-movement
Spiritual check
I know that 2020 has kind of had a dumpster fire of a year especially after having such a promising start. So much is happening in the world, it is easy to lose your faith or struggle with God right now. There is a lot happening with Covid-19. We are spending time in our homes much more than we ever intended, people are reading more, watching more, learning more, trying to make good use of this time. These are great ideas! I am trying to do more of these things myself. I would hope that you would take some of that energy and apply it to your spiritual life as well.
The first three months of the year have already gone by. Have you thought about any spiritual goals you may have set at the beginning of the year? Are you trying to read your bible more? Extend your quiet time? Pray for not only yourself but your, friends, family and neighbors. These are challenging times and it is very easy to do too much of the wrong thing while trying to cope. There are some great resources on the internet right now. Churches are livestreaming, bible studies are online, Sunday school. I haven’t been to Sunday school in almost a year but since it has been meeting via Zoom, it has been a lot easier to go to. Don’t just use this as an opportunity to binge Tiger King or Love is Blind but take in some good things as well.
Progress over perfection
I’ve been avoiding my blog because since I have become a new mom I really haven’t the time to dedicate to it that I did before I was pregnant. You know how you avoid someone you haven’t talked in a while. Like we don’t have any beef but at this point its kind of awkward if we talk again. What will we talk about?
Several people have asked me and I didn’t want this blog to turn into a “mommy blog”. I don’t feel like I have a enough experience to speak about that, although I know that is the kind of vulnerability people are looking for. I don’t want to alienate any of my readers though. I didn’t read mommy blogs when I wasn’t a mom. Its a new element of my life and it will be featured but I am going to try and not let that dominate my content.
I heard this phrase progress over perfection the other day and it really touched me. I want this blog to be the very best of me and I would like it to reach hundreds of people. To do that I need to dedicate more time into making sure its good. At what cost though?
The writing is never the problem. That’s my passion. The gift that God gave me that I haven’t been using to the fullest. I felt like God gave me the greatest gift of all time, my baby boy but I haven’t been giving him back his gift. I’ve talked about this before, using the gift God gave you. I’m trying. I heard once that Jesus is gentleman, he never pushes you. I have been getting subtle hints for a while now, different verses and confirmation. I saw this on Instagram and just decided to go for it.
Its always the extra stuff, the pictures, the memes, the gifs that I add in to make you want to read and keep coming back. I wrote all summer while I was off on maternity leave but I have posted any of it. That’s about to change.
Content will be coming out, not as often as before. I am thinking once a week or twice a week at first and see how that goes. I appreciate all the followers I have for sticking by me. So we are back on the train again. Funny thing this is when I started posting on the blog when the blog first began. Welp, I’m back at it. Come hang out with me!
Don’t be afraid of your blessings
A girl in my small group said this to me and it has changed my whole outlook on my pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant, I can’t say I was overjoyed or crying or jumping up and down. I was in a state of disbelief. Literally. I thought it may have been a false positive. I went to the drug store to buy another test but God stopped me.
I am a chronic over thinker but I wouldn’t say I was an anxious person. That has changed. I was worried about anything and everything. I was essentially Googling myself into panic. I unfortunately know of too many unhappy endings. Almost everyone of my friends cried when I told them about the baby. It was overwhelming. Then I started to worry about was I hurting God’s feelings by not being grateful. Fear was definitely overriding my joy.
I’m listening to this girls memoir and she talked about not auditioning for Dreamgirls because she was afraid. They asked for her to try out and she never made herself available to audition. Seems like a dumb thing to do, but I definitely understand how she feels.
I am in a much better space now. I appreciate that God allows us to work things out in our own way in our own time. He was never upset with me about how I was reacting, I was upset with myself because I was comparing myself to other people. In my post Being pregnant, I talked about my friend being surprised about how I was treating the pregnancy. Being afraid of my blessing was definitely the reason. Another thing about that is trying to be cognizant of everyone’s feelings around me. I have been the girl that is wanting and waiting and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. I have read articles from being with fertility issues feeling the same way. Its hard because nobody I know personally has been in this situation before.
Anybody can run into this issue. Its called the Imposter Syndrome.
The questions of, do I belong here? Do I deserve these blessings? Am I good enough? I was big on waiting on the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t have to be that way. Something bad is not necessarily going to follow this good thing.
I had to remind myself that I do deserve these blessings and that God is a promise keeper. God wants us to be happy on this side of heaven. Let the good times roll!! I won’t be blocking my blessing by being afraid of them. I will embrace everything that God gives me with joy.
Always finding the silver lining 