Tag Archives: challenges

New kid on the block

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I have been working in the same job for the last 4 years. I am a college counselor. I love my job and am I good at it. I recently made a move to a new school this year and it completely shook my confidence.

I have only been there a month but I have learned a lot of lessons in the last 30 days.

1. I don’t have anything to prove. I am good at my job and I don’t have to do it the same way the previous person did.
2. I can not be everything for everybody. I was literally running myself ragged trying to make every meeting, do every presentation, sometimes trying to be two places at once. It was unnecessary. I wasn’t giving anything 100% because I was trying to do too much.
3. I can make mistakes. I am not perfect and that is ok. Nobody is putting any pressure on me but me. I just need to relax and do what I’m good at.
4. Trust is a very interesting thing. I’m going to talk more about this in a later post. I don’t really know the team I am working with that well yet. I am used to being excluded from things and being left off emails so I have been just showing up places. I don’t need to, my counterpart hasn’t left me off anything. He hasn’t done anything for me not to trust him.

Being a new person is not easy for me, nor is change. When I first started it was hard. I was lonely and nervous and unsure of myself. 30 days later I feel more relaxed. I have made some friends and I am learning the lay of the land. This change is exactly what I didn’t know I needed. I am so glad that I didn’t block my blessing by being afraid.

Summer is coming to a end

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The summer flew by as it always does and now its September 1. I can’t believe it. This summer was definitely one of growth. I feel like I did less partying but I didn’t feel bored. The days seemed full. My birthday is in 12 days. It will be my Jesus year so I am excited about that. I’m fasting to prepare for my birthday as well. Get my mind, body and soul into gear. I have more thoughts on the Jesus year that I will get into as I get closer to my birthday.

My boss asked us to three questions that I think would be good for anyone to use as reflection for the end of a season.

What was the highlight of your summer?

Highlight of my summer was traveling, seeing Beyonce’ (twice!) and getting a new puppy.

 

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(Riveria Maya, Mexico June 2018)

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(Chicago, July 2018)

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(OTR II Cleveland, Ohio July 2018)

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(OTR II Columbus, Ohio August 2018)

(OTR II Columbus, Ohio August 2018)

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(Hunter James, July 2018)

His name is Hunter James and he is certainly a handful. He has definitely been a challenge but my husband and I have embraced him.

What are you looking forward to in the new year?

I’m looking forward to being a better version of myself. My best friend always calls it 2.0. I like that. I definitely want to do that as well. You guys would be so proud of me! I have really stepped out of my comfort zone in the last few months and the results have been amazing.

I want to continue to grow this blog, work on writing better and jazz up my website. My cousin who is working on being a brand ambassador said there is no “me” on my website. Which is true. At first I didn’t want it to be about me per se. I was worried about people wanting to know my business and using it to gossip. I didn’t want my message to get lost in talking about “me” all the time. I can see how the that would be impersonal though, so I added some pics 🙂

What are you happy to leave behind?

I’m happy to leave behind self doubt, self pity, self sabotage.

I doubt myself a lot. I may not say it out loud but I do a lot of second guessing and it can be exhausting. I want to be able to go with my gut, use discernment and be satisfied with a decision. I don’t want to replay conversations over and over again to see if I said something stupid, awkward or random. I want to pick out an outfit and just get dressed. Self pity is harder because it sneaks up on you. I can be moving along nicely and my mind will take me back some place that I don’t want to go or bring up a memory that from the past. Or have me worrying about things that have not happened yet. I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to anyone else to feel sorry for me, so I’m certainly not going to feel sorry for myself.  Self sabotage is sneaky too. I sometimes don’t realize I am doing it until I am in the middle and realized that a better decision could have been made. Like I give up because I don’t see the results in the time frame I want.  Things don’t work that way, so I am just trying to remain focused and be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day and Dominique 2.0 won’t be built in a day either.

HELLO SEPTEMBER

M.I.A

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I know I have been missing in action for a few weeks now. So many excited things have happened and I can’t wait to tell you all about them. I know I said I wouldn’t go a week without posting but it happened.

I am sorry. Although I don’t have any regrets. Sometimes I have to live life and not just write about it. Its been a good summer but, its about over so time to get back on the normal routine. Plus writing everyday for 31 days is a lot and I needed a break. lol. Don’t worry, come September I will be back on my 3 day a week schedule.

New followers don’t leave. I appreciate you coming. Check out some archives, I have over 100 posts!

Did you ever feel like you needed to take a break after a massive writing project?

p.s- Did WordPress do some updates? I don’t think I like them…

 

Where to next

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Finishing a challenge , it makes it hard to see whats next. I really busted my hump to make sure I finished that challenge. I wanted to make sure each post was well written. Each one was not my best post, but I did try and I am proud of myself.

It feels weird to not number my post anymore, lol.

Some one asked me what I was going to do next and its a good question. I have a personal writing goal but I don’t know if I am going to share that one the blog. I want to write 100 pages by December 26. Part of that, is writing like no one will read it to give me the courage to actually finish it. So I don’t know if you all will get to read it or not. I will see once its done.  I will do a few periodic check ins just to keep myself accountable and monitor my progress.

I need a blog goal now. I am cooking a few things up in my mind but nothing solid yet.  I am also going to take a class from Blogging University and work on some of my old posts. Any suggestions? I am looking for ways to grow my writing and my blog so any ideas would be great.

Heres to the rest of the year!

Dominique

 

I did it!!!! (31)

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happy dance black girl

Its a big deal people!! I got it done. I am glad I did it, but I am also glad its over!! So much pressure, lol.

happy dance charlie brown

Thank you for reading every post, good, bad or ugly. I really appreciate it.

Best,

Dominique

Lessons from 100 posts (21)

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  1. Blogging is more than writing. I have read this a few times from various places. Its not that I forget but writing is already so much that I don’t take as much time out for the other stuff. I’m not writing for money or anything like that. I do want people to read what I write though. I want a website that is pretty to the eye as well as the words being good. People certainly judge a book by its cover.
  2. You also need to consistently read other people’s work and comment on their posts. I have had so much going on that I haven’t been reading much on WordPress. I haven’t been engaging in my blog as much as I was earlier this year. I noticed the visible difference. I noticed that when I read other people posts it drives them to my blog. This sounds like common sense but until I did it myself, I didn’t take it seriously.
  3. Sometimes its better to start something and do research later. This sounds weird as I write it because it goes against the very person I am. I am a classic researcher. I love gathering information. I read a lot of posts about the top ten things to do to get your blog to grow. Lately I have been reading books on how to write, how to start, etc. That research was helpful but it also delayed me. It was a stall tactic and  I didn’t really “get it” though. It is much more clear now that I am in the midst actually engaging in what I am trying to do. I can see the actual real time happenings of this advice.

 

Technical difficulties, Help! (17)

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Do you all do your drafts in some place other than WordPress? I am seem to be having trouble sharing them from the notes in my phone, to the WordPress app. It doesn’t really make any sense to me and it didn’t start until I started my 31 posts in 31 days (1)

Do any of you have experience asking for help from WordPress? The website seems pretty daunting to me so I just putter around until I figure out what I am trying to do. I know other sites boast really awesome technical support, do you feel that is true for WordPress? This is getting frustrating because it is slowing up my progress in uploading my posts.

If you have any suggestions for dealing with technical issues that would be great.

ps.-this counts as a post 🙂

Faith over fear (15)

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What are you afraid of? I just realized that I am afraid of change. I never really thought I was a person afraid of change but one of the ladies in my caregroup asked me yesterday if I was of change and after thinking about it I had to say yes. We are doing a bible study on faith in a larger study on the fruit of the spirit by Beth Moore. Beth asks when you are afraid to have faith what is holding you back. Everyone said fear of disappoint, myself included but after we started talking about prayer requests, I realized I am afraid of change. I haven’t had many changes in my life. I worked in the same department at the same company for eight years. I also worked their in Undergrad, so there was no true change for me there. I lived in the same apartment for 3 years before I got married. I hate moving. As I look back over my life, I realized that I don’t take the opportunity to change very often.

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My fear of change could potentially be blocking me from my blessings. An opportunity came up at work and I was thinking of all the reasons that it could be bad. I never thought for a moment of the positives that could come from the change. There is growth in change. I realized that if I let my fear of change hold me back, then I am telling God he can’t be with me wherever I go or whatever situation I face. Its a control issue. The longer you stay in a situation, the more you have control over, you can anticipate the variables. I say God is in control of my life, but if I let fear rule me then truly, I am saying I control my life and not God. That’s not the life I am trying to lead.

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One of the girls in the group said that I was just creating a lot of this in my mind. I created a story. It doesn’t have to end that way. I am projecting my feelings onto a situation that had not happened yet. What if it was good? I have never even considered that. I chose to focus only on the negative. What if I chose to focus on the positive instead? I also made a pros and cons list. After looking at the list, the pros were definitely outweighing the cons.

Change is something that is inevitable. I am working hard to embrace change and not run from it. I don’t want to block any blessings because I am afraid. I trust God to work everything out for my good.

How much do you invest in yourself? (10)

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I am not talking about spiritually or emotionally investing in yourself which is important but how much money do you spend on your well being? I never really paid that much attention before to that kind of thing. I don’t spend a lot of money on myself per se but what I do spend tends to be on experiences then something that gives tangible dividends.

I know I need to work on my writing if I ever want to write books that people will want to read and buy. How much do I invest in my writing? Business owners how much do you invest in your business? How do you determine if its worth it or if you have spent enough? People always say it takes money to make money. Another saying is you get what you pay for, so if I am putting out a product that I didn’t really invest any money, what is the quality of that product?

Writing is multilayered you are first and foremost selling yourself before you are selling a product. I have to be comfortable with the world knowing my business. I think I have more or less gotten over people knowing my business. I have moved on to level 2. How bad do I want it? What are my writing goals? What am I willing to sacrifice and invest?

It’s been almost a year since I published my first post. I need to start thinking about what’s next. If I put money into myself, into my writing and I don’t succeed, did I waste my money?

Spending money on my writing is taking the step to take it more seriously. A way to be held accountable and get some good constructive criticism.

Bloogers/Writers have you taken classes? Were they helpful? Do you have any recommendations?

Generational curses (4)

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Do you believe in generational curses? They are rampant in the old testament. God tells the Hebrews over and over again I will punish your children for your bad behavior. That seems a little bogus and contradictory to the character of God that we know. He also says that no one is responsible for anyone else’s debt. So this seems confusing.

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Numbers 14:18 ESV 

‘The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’

Ezekiel 18:20 ESV 

The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

I have always been interested in generational curses because I couldn’t figure out why the things happening to me where happening. Was I being punished for the sins of my parents or grandparents or great grandparents?

In my research I discovered that wasn’t really the case.

Each person is responsible for his or her actions. It may be harder to not do something if everyone in your family does it but not impossible. You can break the cycle. God says if we repent and come to him we are forgiven and we can start new. It doesn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t do. I don’t have to be like them.

Isn’t that refreshing? You may seem like you are stuck in a endless cycle but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can decide today, right now to do something different. After you decide you then have to be intentional about making those changes. Fight everyday and speak positivity over yourself and your situation. Once you start changing and breaking the cycle you may influence others in your family to change too.

Prayer:

Father help me do the best I can not to pass down bad habits to my future children. Help me be open to changing through you and not my own willpower. Help me a blessing to someone else and stop this curse from impacting anyone else. Break these strongholds the past has on me and my family and show me something different can be done. In Jesus name. Amen.

Research used and further reading:

Are Generational Curses Biblical?

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-and-a/faith/understanding-the-generational-curse-of-exodus-347

https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2004/may/beth-moore-breaking-free-generational-curse-sin.html