Getting myself off my mind

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I told my friend I was trying not to pray for myself and she looked at me like I was crazy. I am definitely trying to do that though. I have my quiet time in the morning before I go to work. I read the bible for about 10-15 and then I journal before I get in the shower. Recently in that quiet time I have been trying to limit how much I pray for myself and focus more on praying for others. Some days the prayers are focused like I may pray for my husband all day or one of my friends or my mom or little brother and nephew. I say the same short prayer for myself every morning before I get in the shower. Lord help me have less of me and more of you. John 3:30

That’s it. God already knows what I need and what I desire. If I receive less of me and more of him, then I can handle any situation that comes at me. It will help me keep my flesh at bay and respond to things in a way that He would think is appropriate.

This article on Crosswalk speaks to exactly how I am feeling.

Uncompromising

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Uncompromising-showing an unwillingness to make concessions to others, especially by changing one’s ways or opinions

I haven’t been blogging long I definitely don’t consider myself an expert. I just want to be a moral compass that is being drowned out in the Instagram society that we live in today. I had a blog post all ready to go but I hesitated about posting it. It was controversial and I had concerns about how it would be perceived. I asked my husband and he agreed. I may not get the response that I was looking for. So I decided not to post it right now.

I questioned myself though. Sometimes when you have an opinion that’s not with the majority people may not like it. I’m not taking my thoughts and imposing them on anyone. I didn’t make the standard, God did. If I want to continue to be a person that helps people grow, I have to be uncompromising in my beliefs. Easier said than done though. I don’t want to alienate my readers. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad or condemn them. I also have to draw the line in caring what people think. It is a delicate balance. I heard no matter what you do, you will always get 10%  of people who don’t agree.

stand alone

 

It’s bigger than the post though. It’s hard to have an opinion that in conflict with the world. People start calling you a prude and all kinds of stuff. You start to be left out of things. I know I walk the line between advice giving and being judgmental, at least it is perceived that way. In real life I don’t really care what people do. You have to live with choices you made not me. I’m probably not doing a good job of conveying that though. Which is why when my friend asked me advice I told her what the word says, flee from temptation. However when our other friend told her to do the opposite I walked back a little of what I said. Why? I guess I still wanted to be a part of the group. I didn’t want to be seen as this uber conservative person because I’m not. I just want people to use better judgement when they make decisions and think of the consequences before they do things not after.

It’s scary to be the minority opinion all the time. If your thought process has been in constant difference to the people around you do you need to hang out with different people? Some people would say probably. I think diversity is good though. We all shouldn’t look at the world the same way. We also should be open to different points of view. I am not always right. I don’t always take my own advice or receptive to others people’s advice. I’m trying though.

I’m trying to be 100% Authentic on this blog though and in life. Which is difficult, because its risky.  I will continue to do my best and take other opinions into consideration but not too much.

 

 

Meditation

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Meditation is combination of reviewing, repeating, thinking and analyzing. It’s a physical, intellectual and emotional activity, it involves our whole being.

For some reason people seem to have issues with mediation. I’m not sure why. Jesus mediated. We also are told over and over in the bible to meditate so I’m not sure what the big deal is. I guess when people think of meditating they think of someone sitting cross-legged, with incense lit, going hummmm…I’m not sure where this misconception comes from but it doesn’t have to be that way. I feel like meditation is just slowing down your mind and clearing out the junk to let God in.

One of my biggest problems is that I think to much, so mediating before I go to sleep helps me relax and I often wake up more refreshed when I do it. The most common way I meditate is to repeat a verse over and over depending on what was going on that day. Another thing I like to do is put on soft music while I do my devotional or journal. The music doesn’t have words typically. Its not jazz or classical but soft sounds or waves, things that will slow my thoughts down and allow me to drill down more into God, not into myself. I can block out what happened at work or what I saw on tv and just focus on what I’m trying to do. You know how sometimes when you are trying to pray and or read your bible and your mind keeps wandering to everywhere else than where its supposed to be? Listening to this soft music definitely helps. One album I like is Kim Clement Sweet Moments, another is Dreamy Vibes by Spotify. Meditation is way to add some spice to your prayer life and variety. God doesn’t care how you to spend time with him He just wants you to do it.

In doing research online these are some things that I saw about meditation. I do most of these activities on a regular basis but there are few that I would like to do more often such as memorizing verses. I have them written on notecards already but I fall short on the memorization side.

-read a verse over and over

-memorize all or part of it

-personalize it by putting it in first person

-write the verse on a notecard and memorize throughout the day

Do you have misconceptions about meditating? Think about what is stopping you. Meditating could vastly improve your prayer life, your sleep, your overall deposition. When you get a spare 10 minutes try it, I think you will like it.

I just discovered this Abide app through the YouVersion Bible App and I really like it. You have to pay for the longer meditation but I found them on Youtube for free! The guys voice is nice and relaxing and he asks insightful questions to really get you thinking about God, the verse and yourself. I am trying to incorporate these into my quiet time every week. Let me know if you try it.

February wrap up

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I like reading other bloggers February wrap up or round up so I decided to do a monthly wrap up as well.

Favorite posts

Borrowing trouble

Conversant

Things I’m watching/reading

Sarah Jakes Roberts-I just discovered her on Youtube after listening to her husband Toure Roberts. I really enjoy her. She is young and fresh and energizing. She is also very transparent. I am excited about going back and watching her videos on Youtube.

John Gray-I just discovered him on Youtube as well. He is super funny. He may be a bit long winded but I really appreciate his story telling and his laid back approach.

Some personal things with me

I started going to Sunday school. I have not been to Sunday school in years. I go to a leadership meeting at church once a month for the caregroup I am in because I am the maturity coach. In the class we talk a lot about leadership and spiritual growth and I really enjoy it. One week in class, when we were discussing leadership, I asked, “what do you consider a leader?” He said, “Great question, you should come to my Sunday school class where I talk all about that.” He mentioned it like 2 more times before the meeting was over, so I felt like I had to go. I am glad I did. It has been dealing directly with some things that I had been praying about. I almost cried the first class. It was uncanny how much of what we discussed, I had previously been to God in prayer about. The class is about how to be a leader when you are not in charge. It has been very insightful to say the least.

I volunteered at the food pantry our church has the other day. It was really good to give back and just get myself off my mind. It also provided good perspective to check my privilege and social bias. I am going to try and volunteer there twice a month.

I also signed up to work in the daycare the church has one Sunday a month. I haven’t started that yet. I did send in my background check paperwork, so that’s a good start. I am hoping that I will be able to start in March.

Things I’m working on

Balance!

In between, work and church activities my past week was hectic. I was asleep before 9 for crying out loud! I didn’t get to hang out with my husband or do any blogging. My two favorite activities. To prevent this from happening again, I need to be more proactive with my blogging. I always have lots of things I want to write about or posts that are started but I need to spend more time scheduling posts. I also need to be more intentional sometimes about spending time with my husband or hitting him up during the work day.

work-life-balance-chart

Fasting part 2

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We have about 30 days left in Lent. How has it been going for you? What did you decide to fast? Interesting enough for me, it did not start off great. I do enjoy fasting but I just wasn’t in the right mind set when Lent started 2 weeks ago. I ended up fasting social media and fiction books, my old faithfuls. I really wanted to fast something else, switch it up in a sense but those are the two things that distract me the most from God. I think because I had just finished fasting in January and turn around in do it two weeks later was difficult. I enjoy the benefits of fasting but not the fasting itself. I was really had an unsettled feeling in my spirit the last few weeks before Lent start and I really just wanted to wallow a little.

I felt like I was growing weary in doing good. I did some Googling to see what to do when you feel that way but I really feel like it was giving me what I needed. I will talk more about that next week. I was moving close to burn out and I was getting nervous. Things were beginning to become routine and I was just going through the motions. My husband gave me some great advice. He said, take a step back and relax. You don’t have to constantly be doing something. The entire purpose of fasting is to draw closer to God. Make sure you are do it for the right reasons. God doesn’t appreciate lip service. You want to end your fasting period energized and refreshed. I just started fasting last week, but already feel more settled in my spirit.

Check out my previous post about fasting if you want more information.

Imagination

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No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

Do you ever let your Imagination run wild? Do you meditate on the awesome things God can do you in your life? Do you stop yourself because the goal is to big, to lofty, it makes no sense right now? God doesn’t think that way. He just wants us to ask him. We have not because we ask not. (James 4:2-3) He knows what you want already, before we put it out there. When we are children we are encouraged to use our imagination, however as we become adults we are told to be realistic. The great thing about God is that he doesn’t want us to be realistic. He wants us to dream big! (Matthew 7:7-12)

Don’t let life weight you down. Give your dreams to God. He wants to bless you. (2 Corinthians 9:8) He wants to see you win, you just have to be willing to be obedient and to trust him.

Check out this sermon from Rick Warren. He knows about using your imagination and dreaming big.

Conversant

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Conversant-familiar or knowledgeable of something

Are you conversant with the character of God? As I work on my spiritual growth and move from just being saved but actually becoming the person that God wanted me to be when he knit me in my mothers womb, I have been studying God’s character. I often worry about disappointing God or sliding back into bad character habits. God reminded of one aspect of his character that I hadn’t given a lot of thought too. Mercy. The lord is merciful in the ways he deals with us. He is slow to anger and merciful. (Psalm 103:8) He doesn’t punish us for all our sins. He isn’t going to come in snatch everything away from me if I make a mistake. He sees my heart and knows my intentions. (1 Chronicles 28:9) I have a great cloud witnesses in heaven that are cheering me on and wanting me to do well. (Hebrews 12:1)

dont be so hard

Psalm 103 is great for getting more information about the character of God.

  • He forgives all my sins
  • Heals all my diseases
  • He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies
  • Fills me with good things
  • He won’t constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever
  • He is tender and compassionate
  • His love remains forever

Those are just the highlights.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20103&version=NLT

Action: Go back and read this Psalm in its entirety. Knowing the character of God allows us to remember the most important thing about our relationship with Him. He loves us, he wants us to win. He is not nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves.

Conversant

Congregate

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Congregate-gather into a crowd or mass

What a great word for Sunday! Did you congregate at someone’s church today? Not online, a podcast or tv, but were you physically in the House of God? There is something to be said about the worship experience. It is designed in the way that it is for a reason. I am typically late to church every week because my husband doesn’t like praise and worship, so our compromise is that we get there in enough time to hear one song and the preacher start his sermon. This works well for the both of us. This Sunday however, he couldn’t attend with me, he wasn’t feeling well, so I actually got to church relatively on time.

I had been feeling an unrest in my spirit and I really didn’t understand why. I prayed about it yesterday but I didn’t feel like I got any clear answers. I wanted to stay home with my husband this morning, but something was telling me, get up and go.  I am so glad that I did. The dance team came out first and the song was “How much longer Lord,” boy did I feel that! It was exactly what I had been asking God the other day. How much longer? What else do you want me to do? When the dancers left, the choir came up and sang, “Hold on just a little while longer”. What?! Now my logical brain tells me that I’m the choir director and praise team got together to decide this line up, it wasn’t just coincidence. However, the spiritual person in me knows that God knew I needed to hear those songs in that order, in that way. If I would have gotten to church at my normal time, I would have missed all of that. If I would have stayed home and listened to the sermon online tomorrow at work, I wouldn’t have gotten any of that, just the sermon. I needed to hear the sermon, but hearing the music, feeling like God wanted me to hear that, settled me in a way that sermon did not.

1519604237954_image.jpg

I talked before about going to church and I know a lot of people have issues with church. I look at church like going to the gym. When you go to the gym even when you don’t feel like it, you always feel better after the experience. I believe church is the same way. In all the times I have been to church, I never left thinking, wow, this was a waste of time. Don’t worry so much about the people who are there. It’s not about them. Its about you, growing your relationship, being obedient to God, getting everything He has planned for you.

Question: If you don’t go to church, why not? How long has it been? Could this be the year that you start going again?

Action: Try to go to church next weekend and the weekend after and just see how you feel. Let me know if you notice a difference between listening at home and being in the building.

Congregate

How to wait well

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I did not always wait well. I was angry at God and didn’t talk to him for a while. I was sad, bitter and jealous. I tried to bargain with God and as you can see none of that worked. I tried a lot of things but I never fully 100% threw my cards in with God. I finally decided that all the things I was or wasn’t doing, I wasn’t getting anywhere. I didn’t feel better and really I felt worse. Self care helped me a lot because it helped me narrow down how I was feeling and what I was going to do to change it.  I don’t look at self care as finding myself per se and more about being intentional about my relationship with God. I did need to block out somethings that were a distraction and start making different choices.

I had to really drill down and pay attention to the things God was telling me. Often times I feel like we have the answers but we are ignoring them because we want the answer to be something other than what it is. I read a lot of books. Two that were super helpful to me were, How to hear the Voice of God by Joyce Meyer and Wait and See by Wendy Pope.

wendy pope         joyce meyer how to hear

 

I wanted to make sure that the promise I heard from God was from Him and not from me. Knowing his voice is really key. We can put things on God that aren’t really from him. I started to read my bible more so I could find stories of situations that were similar to mine, that helped too. I also wanted to read my bible more so that I could recognize Gods voice. You know a person when you spend time with them, reading or listening to your bible is the easiest way to spend time with God. I started to notice some changes in how I felt, random verses would start popping in my head. I listened to more gospel music, so random songs would pop in my head but they would make sense. The verse or song would be relevant to what I was going through.

If you have been reading this blog you see that I have been trying to do more of what pleases God and less of what pleases me. I spent so many years begging God for a baby and not being content in the space that I was in, I’m sure he was tired of me. I am so glad that God is not like man.  I was sick of myself! I didn’t want to pray about it anymore especially when I knew that there were things I needed to work on. Recently, I have been working on getting myself off my mind as much as possible. If I am not thinking about me, then I am not thinking about what I don’t have. There is no room to complain or be sad if I am putting my energy towards something else. I have found things to fulfill me in the mean time, which has helped a lot. This blog has made a big difference. I have been volunteering at church more, something I haven’t done in years.

numbers 2319

 

I believe God’s word is true. I know that this will happen, but I don’t know when. I understand that faith is not about what you can see, that wouldn’t be faith. Hebrews 1:1. I know that God isn’t trying to hurt me by making me wait but trying to grow me into the person he wants me to be. 2 Peter 3:9.  I also know that is desire is from him because I have also asked him to take this desire away if it isn’t what he wants from me. His word backs all this up. I am so glad I have a reference I can look back on to make sure I am not crazy.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, it could be a job, a man/woman, a house, a new car, insert your thing. I’m not going to tell you its not going to suck to wait because that would be a lie. I will tell you that it will get better. If you decide to go in with God 100% you will not be disappointed. You will feel better but you have to stick with it. Just when you get tired and you don’t think you can do anymore, God will give you a boost. I know that to be true because I have been there. You don’t have to suffer alone..

Assay

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Assay-testing of a metal or ore to determine its ingredients and quality

noun

Synonyms: evaluation, assessment, appraisal, analysis, examination, testing

 

trials

God wants to test our ingredients, essentially see what we are made of and what we have been taking. He also wants quality assurance.

As you work on your spiritual growth know that testing will come. God will assay you. He will test you to make sure you are ready for the next level. Before you have success you will have stress. The testing is what is being done to make you better. When you are in the purification process it can be challenging but you know there is a reward at the end if you don’t lose faith.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/constant/