Category Archives: Spiritual Growth

Fasting

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I’m not Catholic but with Lent coming up on February 14, I have been trying to think about things to give up for 40 days. I like fasting oddly enough. Even though its hard when I first start, I appreciate the clarity it brings and the focus that I have on God during that time period.

Fasting is something you do for you, not God, it clears your mind so you can focus on him. Often times people believe that fasting has to be food, but from my experience but I don’t believe it has to be food. You can fast anything that is going to be a challenge for you, something that is potentially distracting you from God. Food may not be it for you. I tried to do the Daniel fast once, it was a disaster! With the Daniel fast you can’t eat meat or carbs or drink anything but water. Its pretty restrictive. Check out this website if you want more information.

ttps://draxe.com/daniel-fast/

The problem I had with the Daniel fast is that I was focusing more on the rules then I was on God. I had completely missed the point. I was becoming more frustrated and making the process more legalistic, the exact thing Jesus tells us not to do. Relationship is more important than rules, that’s the whole purpose of the new covenant. My care group, or small group, or bible study group, whatever name works for you, we fast every Monday night from 12 midnight to Tuesday at noon. We do this to draw closer to God before we have bible study on Tuesday evening.

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Fasting is something that I have been doing a lot of lately. I am waiting on God for a blessing and I don’t want the world to distract me and I also don’t want to start worrying about when it is going to happen. To stop myself from doing those things I have cut out distractions.  I just finished a 21 day fast. I fasted secular fiction books. This may not seem like a big deal but I LOVE to read. It is my most favorite pastime. Its how I unwind, cheer myself, distract myself from the world. However, its also a way for me to hide and not explore my feelings or answer tough questions. I’m not reading any books, I’m also not looking at much social media. Its been crazy! I have noticed how much more free time I have and how much more I read the bible.

This is the second time I have done this fast. I also did it for 21 days in September. I have certainly noticed changes and things that I need to watch out for. Fasting can put you in a spiritual bubble, which really is the purpose. I do it so I can show God I am serious about what I am asking for and that I am ready to make a change.

fasting

 

Lord, I want to be closer to you. Amazing things are about to happen and I want to be ready for them. I believe what you told me and I just don’t want to waver. I want to be  desperately be better but I just don’t know how. Help me please! I think that I am a good wife but I want to be better. If I am a better wife then I will be a better daughter, sister, aunt and friend. I want to seek your face and not your hand. I want to be closer to you.  Amen.

Burn it away

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Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight!
Psalms 32:1 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.32.1.NLT

On Dec 30 my husband and I wrote down everything we were feeling guilty about and read them out loud. This wasn’t necessarily a confession but more of a let’s get this off your chest. It also wasn’t something that had anything to do with each other. One of mine was not calling my friends and mom more. After we read each other’s list.I set them on fire and watched them burn in the snow. Fun fact: I love setting things on fire lol. It was theraputic to watch them burn though. Never to be brought up again. No condemnation, no judgement, no nothing. Remember that as you are working on your new self in 2018.

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12 NIV
https://psalm.bible/psalm-103-12

Read this whole Psalm. It is really good. One of my favorites. Sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves when we mess up but God doesn’t. He gives us new mercies everyday

Is God your friend?

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Not until very recently. I used to think that I could do both, do God and do me too. I literally wanted to call this blog, doing God and doing me. I wanted to walk the line between secular and gospel, however the more I read the word, the more I realize that you can’t really do that. Its not really fair to God when you operate that way and I never looked at it before. I used to to think as long as I wasn’t breaking the Big Ten (commandments) that I was good. I went to church, I volunteer, I’m not a terrible person, but that wasn’t enough. God wanted to be my friend. He was definitely my father, my savior, but he wasn’t my friend.

Having God be your friend is a different thing entirely. You don’t tell your parent things that you tell your friends, you don’t invite your parent places you invite your friend. You are less inclined to talk to your parents everyday the way you would a friend. Its hard to imagine God as a friend, but I notice my life goes a lot smoother when I talk to him everyday instead of just on Sundays. I now try to talk to God several times a day and invite Him into everything I do, whether its partying or just chilling in the house. It has made such a difference.

I know it seems weird to think about God when you are drinking, partying or participating in other non church like activities, but God is there anyway. It would make it much easier if you just invited him along for the process. God can’t be are part time lover, only around when we need something. That is not fair to him. Do you ever let God talk to you or do you do all the talking? Nobody wants a friend that talks about themselves all the time. Have you asked him what pleases him? Do you ask for his advice (prayer) but then do what you want to do? Spiritual growth is more about memorizing scripture or reading your bible more. Its about growing closer in your relationship with God. Truly being able to call him a friend not only because you talk to him but because he talks back to you. You actually you use the things you he told you and live life in a way that is pleasing to him. I am not saying that is easy. Its not. Its crazy hard. The good thing about Jesus is that he isn’t judging us.  He knows and wants us to keep trying. He just wants to be a part of the process. So invite God in, he is already everywhere you are going anyway.

 

Deleting Facebook friends

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So I started deleting some Facebook friends over the last few weeks. I have mentioned before that while I love writing the subject matter can sometimes be raw for me, I’m revealing my flaws and my most personal thoughts. That isn’t something I necessarily  want everyone to see which is why I haven’t done a lot of advertising on Facebook. I started deleting people if I couldn’t remember how we met, their real name, or if their page had more negative content then positive. Lol

As I was going down the list though I noticed I was hesitating over some names than I probably should have been deleting. I didn’t though because their pages are entertaining. They always have interesting gossip or throwing shade, just all around messy.

God has been convicting me lately of some respectable sins. Respectable sins being sins that we tolerate. These things don’t bring honor to God but they aren’t “that” bad. The respectable sins I have been working on are swearing, gossiping and reading smut. I have gotten the swearing mostly under control. I quit reading smut cold turkey. That’s another post for another day. Gossip is hard though. I have always been fairly good about  not gossiping about people I know. I wouldn’t want people talking about me, so I generally don’t do it. However do celebrities count? If it’s on tv or Instagram does that count? If you are just a spectator are you still gossiping? Like they say on social media, often times I’m just here for the comments.

Mostly, I just want to be in the know. I know that isn’t what God wants though. I just started reading this book Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I definitely feel like he is coming at my neck. I read this book probably almost 10 years in my college bible study group but it didn’t do anything for me then. As I am reading it now has tons of highlights. I will write another post to tell you all about the book and my thoughts. I am working on gossip but I know this going to be hard for me because its so easy to do. I will keep you guys updated on my progress. Spiritual growth is my big thing for 2018. There comes a time in your life when you want to stop asking God so much what can you do for me, and more how can I serve you?  Come join me on this journey, it should definitely be interesting.

Are there accounts that you need to stop following? Things you need to leave behind in 2017. Take this time to really assess where you want to be in 2018 and what is holding you back in your spiritual growth.

WWJD

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Being the bigger person is hard. I guess that’s why its called bigger person in the first place. The bible says, die to self. That doesn’t mean when its convenient or when you want to, or only when the person is being reasonable. Its never convenient to put your own needs to the side especially when someone is being a jerk. Titus 2:12 instructs us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly and godly in the present age. Cussing somebody out or snapping back at them when they say something reckless to us or deciding to not talk to a person because they work our nerves, is not godly. We know this, but sometimes we need a reminder. I know I do. My friend told me to cuss them out and pray for forgiveness later, but that isn’t godly either. I often have to stop and think, what would Jesus do?

Its hard to think of what would Jesus do when the people around you aren’t thinking or acting like Jesus.  I’m always try to weigh out my options and rationalize the situation for my ungodly response. I know God also wants us to be genuine in our dealings. Do I do the right thing because its the right thing? Do I not do it because I truly don’t want to? I really don’t know. I can see both sides. Usually I push myself to do the right thing even when I don’t want to because I don’t want to disappoint God. I want him to feel like I am acting out the things that I read in his word. When you know better you do better.

I know you are thinking that there were times when Jesus would get mad, he even flipped tables in the temples court, (Matthew 21:12) but it was godly anger, not anger based in the flesh. I read this blog post at challies.com that talks about righteous anger. Ephesians says get angry but do not let it cause you to sin. What?! How are we supposed do that? What does that even mean? Righteous anger means you are mad about someone actually sinning not about someone making you angry personally.

I heard a girl on a podcast I listen to say that when someone doesn’t treat us in the way we should be treated that it is an opportunity to come to God and pray for that person. The person doesn’t realize what they are doing or the impact of their words and actions. I will talk more about praying for you enemies in a later post, but I will say it does work. I have to remind myself even when its hard that its important to extend a little grace. Its not up to us to decide when we want to be godly or loving to someone. Its easy to love someone when they are treating you right but the life we are called to isn’t always going to be easy. I will tell you it won’t always be like this. There is something to be said about doing the right thing when everyone and everything is screaming at you to do the opposite. I sleep better knowing I made the right decision.

We all fall short, everyday, but the more you do the right thing when you don’t want too, the easier it will become to continue to do the right thing when the choice comes to you again. What would Jesus do? He would extend grace, he would pray for the person, he would correct them in love. He would turn the other cheek every single time, even if he did not want to. The next time you don’t want to be the bigger person, stop and ask yourself, what would Jesus do. Hopefully, that will change your response. If not, you know you can always ask for forgiveness later.

For more information:

3 Marks of Righteous Anger

Scriptures reference:

Titus 2:12

Ephesians 4:26

Matthew 18:22

Matthew 5:44

 

 

 

Encourage Yourself

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Talk to yourself how you talk to other people

I heard a sermon today where the preacher said watch your self talk. It really struck me. You would never talk to other people how you talk to yourself. We beat ourselves down with self doubt, self pity, and a host of other terrible things to keep us from living our best lives. If a friend came to you and said they had a great idea about something, even it is seemed a little outlandish, you would still encourage them right? I encourage people all the time. I typically am a glass half full person, but not when it comes to my own hopes and dreams. Its very easy to talk myself out of things.

Why don’t we talk to ourselves like that? Why are we are own worst critic? Remember that we are made in Gods image. He knit you together before you were born. Is that a hard concept to understand? Sounds good in practice but hard to do in real life. I used to do that, still do, build other people up but tear myself down with worry, doubt and insecurity. Then I decided to start telling myself all the things I say to other people. I’m the bomb.com, I can do anything I put my mind too, people want to hear what I have to say. I also went back and read who God is. I reminded myself that I was his child, made in His image, He certainly had enough power to help me if I tapped into it. How often do we rely on our own power and not on God’s and then wonder why our plans don’t succeed? Its not because we suck or it was never going to happen, but because we forged ahead without Him. So if you are reading this and want to stop downing yourself remember that you are a child of God and He wants nothing but for you to be happy, successful, content. You don’t have to beat yourself up there are enough people in the world to do that, the media, the president, don’t do it to yourself. Every time a negative thought pops in your head, replace it with a positive one. Put positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror, your screen saver on your phone, your desk at work, anyplace that you will see it. Only play music that builds you up, same thing with the tv shows and movies you watch. Change your thought life, change your real life. Joyce Meyer wrote a book Battlefield of the Mind. It helps deal with negative self talk. Joyce can be a bit wordy but she makes some excellent points. Some of my favorites are “The mind is the leader or forerunner of all actions.” “If our thoughts are going to affect what we become, then it should certainly be a priority that we think right thoughts.

Try to make sure you always build yourself up, you are the only one who truly has to deal with you. The only person you need to impress is yourself. God made you so He already knows how great you are, and nobody else really matters.

 

Is everything ok?

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I get that question a lot. My husband probably asks me that, at least once a day, just to check in. Sure, I’m OK. Google dictionary lists the definition of OK as satisfactory but not exceptionally or especially good. Sounds decent right? No one is opposed to be ok. If you asked someone how they were doing and they responded ok, you probably wouldn’t probe further. OK suggests satisfaction.

Yes it is but I want better than ok. What’s better than be ok? I’m not great but I’m lot closer… I want to feel great everyday and I don’t every day but I’m close. With God I feel great everyday and that’s why I started this blog. He doesn’t seem so far away. He doesn’t seem like I need help as much like I’m drowning. I am still in disbelief, because I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough for his blessings, but you don’t have to work hard for blessing. I didn’t know that before we weren’t friends. He was my father but he wasn’t my friend. There is definitely a difference. I can remember conversations we had when I was struggling. If I couldn’t remember what He said I could go back to it cause I wrote it down. Its really the reason that I started writing. I wanted to make sure that I was hearing God’s voice and not my own. Reading the bible is truly the easiest way to hear Gods voice. I was searching all over in books. Getting advice from other people. Best advice that works exactly for you is to just spend with God. Read the bible, listen to gospel music, meditate, be still.  This seems contradictory to everything I essentially thought I wanted to blog. That’s why God wouldn’t let me put it out before. There wasn’t enough Dominique. I hadn’t spent enough time with Him to be a true representation of Him and the message he wanted me to convey and the way he wanted to convey. It wasn’t from God that’s why it was going to fail.

The more time I spent with God the better person I’m becoming. Less scared. Less concerned about what people think about me. More concerned what He thinks about me. If God is in it, it will not fail. He will lead you exactly where He wants you to go. I’m excited to see where my writing will take me. Whether its read by 1 person or 100 people, hopefully it will encourage someone.

32 is here

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My birthday has come and gone. It was a great day. Only thing that would have made it nicer was if it wasn’t raining. Im not tripping about the rain though, you need a little rain to appreciate the sunshine. Thanking God in advance that 32 will not be like 31. 31 was the hardest year of my life and I thought 30 was hard. Lol. I did things last year that I never thought I would do, survived hurts I never thought I would get over. That year made a better person. More emphatic, less judgmental. More flexible, less rooted to one idea and more willingly to learn and explore in ways I haven’t before. I learned how to lean on God more and me less. That I don’t have to meet this standard of perfection that I set for myself. That there is more than one way to so something. Perfection or close as possible is not what God wanted me to be. He wanted me the way he made me. He doesn’t care about my flaws because He wanted me to lean on him.

32 is going to be a challenge but this time versus other years I’m not plotting and worrying about how I am going to work things out. I am not trying to plan every moment of my life. I am truly living day by day, not worrying about tomorrow. Not thinking so much about each step but enjoying each moment. I will count my blessings not my problems. I’m excited to see what 32 brings. With God the possibilities are endless.