Tag Archives: prayer

Meditation

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Meditation is combination of reviewing, repeating, thinking and analyzing. It’s a physical, intellectual and emotional activity, it involves our whole being.

For some reason people seem to have issues with mediation. I’m not sure why. Jesus mediated. We also are told over and over in the bible to meditate so I’m not sure what the big deal is. I guess when people think of meditating they think of someone sitting cross-legged, with incense lit, going hummmm…I’m not sure where this misconception comes from but it doesn’t have to be that way. I feel like meditation is just slowing down your mind and clearing out the junk to let God in.

One of my biggest problems is that I think to much, so mediating before I go to sleep helps me relax and I often wake up more refreshed when I do it. The most common way I meditate is to repeat a verse over and over depending on what was going on that day. Another thing I like to do is put on soft music while I do my devotional or journal. The music doesn’t have words typically. Its not jazz or classical but soft sounds or waves, things that will slow my thoughts down and allow me to drill down more into God, not into myself. I can block out what happened at work or what I saw on tv and just focus on what I’m trying to do. You know how sometimes when you are trying to pray and or read your bible and your mind keeps wandering to everywhere else than where its supposed to be? Listening to this soft music definitely helps. One album I like is Kim Clement Sweet Moments, another is Dreamy Vibes by Spotify. Meditation is way to add some spice to your prayer life and variety. God doesn’t care how you to spend time with him He just wants you to do it.

In doing research online these are some things that I saw about meditation. I do most of these activities on a regular basis but there are few that I would like to do more often such as memorizing verses. I have them written on notecards already but I fall short on the memorization side.

-read a verse over and over

-memorize all or part of it

-personalize it by putting it in first person

-write the verse on a notecard and memorize throughout the day

Do you have misconceptions about meditating? Think about what is stopping you. Meditating could vastly improve your prayer life, your sleep, your overall deposition. When you get a spare 10 minutes try it, I think you will like it.

I just discovered this Abide app through the YouVersion Bible App and I really like it. You have to pay for the longer meditation but I found them on Youtube for free! The guys voice is nice and relaxing and he asks insightful questions to really get you thinking about God, the verse and yourself. I am trying to incorporate these into my quiet time every week. Let me know if you try it.

Waiting, Part 2

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My foundation was weak. I never thought about that before. I was doing all these things to show God I was ready for a baby but my walk was weak. I was rooted in the world. I wasn’t rooted in God. I was worshiping the promise but not the promise giver. I had made having a baby my idol because I put it before God. I had put it before God and I didn’t realize it. What is on your mind constantly? Is it finding a man? Is it a new job or promotion? Making more money, buying a new house? Be careful you could be making that thing an idol.

Self-care-dino-Resize

That is when I started my journey of self care. It was definitely a challenge. Self examination is a long process. I had to learn how to be content in the mean time. I didn’t want to do that because to me that meant that I was happy not getting what I wanted. That isn’t what it means though. I had to learn how to approach life differently. Would I continue to be happy and sad every 30 days, ruled by my menstrual cycle or would I get over myself? My friend often reminds me, everybody is waiting for something. This is a challenge I still deal on with on a regular basis. Six people I know had babies in 2017. I already know 3 or more pregnant women in 2018 and its only February! None of those women are me. I really do not understand why, the only thing I can say is that its not yet. Just like the captured Israelites in Babylon, I have to be ok because I could be in this space for a while. Jeremiah 29:5-14.

My pastor says, God doesn’t waste a hurt. You go through things so that you can encourage others that are in your situation or in a similar situation. I know this is a story that God wanted me to tell others. I always thought that it would After I was pregnant and had overcome this that I would share.

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However I see now that isn’t the case. God wants people to see me as I go through, not on the other side. God wants me to work on my image problem. I was ashamed. You are made to believe that women are put here on Earth to reproduce and if you can’t do that then something is wrong with you. In my telling the story after it happened I can control what people think of me. They can’t pity me or feel sorry for me, if its after the fact. That is what has taken me so long to say anything because when people ask why we don’t have kids yet and I say we are having trouble, I often feel pity from them. That’s my perception anyway. I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me. I am blessed. I actually had a person tell me my life sucks, which is definitely not the case.I have also gotten a lot of basic advice that I didn’t ask for, lol. This story is bigger than me though. If even one person is able to take something away from this then it was worth it.

Now that I got that out, in my next post I will talk in more detail about what to do in the meantime. How do you handle waiting on God? Essentially, how do you wait well?

Waiting, Part 1

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I have been wanting a baby a long time. A strong 5 years I would say. I still don’t have one but I’m not giving up hope that it will happen. I haven’t always had the mindset of not wasting my wait. Some years I was on it. No drinking, hard partying trying to get my body and mind ready for baby. Other years I was more let’s just see what happens. People get pregnant everyday with much worse life styles then the one I’m leading. I’ve been to specialists and all kind of things to no result. The only conclusion they could come to is that there is nothing wrong me. Fantastic! Before you think it, my husband sperm count is off the charts. The doctor went on about it so much that I started to develop a complex.

The worst thing about waiting is when you want something and there is no explainable reason why you don’t have it. I’m not old. There is no history of infertility in mother or grandmother. Unexplained infertility effects 20-30% of women every year. I’m glad to see celebrities like Gabrielle Union, Crissy Teigen and Tia Mowery-Hardict speak out about their challenges. It certainly helps ease the stigma.

What are they doing in the mean time? How are they handling the wait? I could be wrong but I dont see as much discussion about that. I’m sure you are going to set goals for this year. Unfortunately they may not all happen and it won’t matter how much hard work you put in or how hard you pray. I’m not saying that to be mean or a hater. It’s just a fact of life. What are you going to do in the mean time?

I did IVF (in-vitro fertilization) in Feb (had to stop) and then again in March of last year. As you can see it didn’t work. I was devastated, especially since there isn’t anything medically wrong with me. The doctor was sure it would work. He told us we were betting with house money. Nope! Got to the final stage of the process when he was like, oh I wasn’t expecting this. My bad for getting your hopes up. Welp. That was the end of that. I had to make a choice. Clearly this baby thing wasn’t happening right now.

I asked God want did he want me to do. What lesson was he trying to convey? What hadn’t I done that I needed to do? There were definitely some things I needed to tweak. My mindset, my attitude, my spiritual walk. God had been telling me to do some things for a while that I had been dancing around. This blog being one of them. I went to see a holistic nurse in May and she told me the same thing the fertility specialist told me nothing was physically wrong with me but I had a root issue.

WWJD

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Being the bigger person is hard. I guess that’s why its called bigger person in the first place. The bible says, die to self. That doesn’t mean when its convenient or when you want to, or only when the person is being reasonable. Its never convenient to put your own needs to the side especially when someone is being a jerk. Titus 2:12 instructs us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly and godly in the present age. Cussing somebody out or snapping back at them when they say something reckless to us or deciding to not talk to a person because they work our nerves, is not godly. We know this, but sometimes we need a reminder. I know I do. My friend told me to cuss them out and pray for forgiveness later, but that isn’t godly either. I often have to stop and think, what would Jesus do?

Its hard to think of what would Jesus do when the people around you aren’t thinking or acting like Jesus.  I’m always try to weigh out my options and rationalize the situation for my ungodly response. I know God also wants us to be genuine in our dealings. Do I do the right thing because its the right thing? Do I not do it because I truly don’t want to? I really don’t know. I can see both sides. Usually I push myself to do the right thing even when I don’t want to because I don’t want to disappoint God. I want him to feel like I am acting out the things that I read in his word. When you know better you do better.

I know you are thinking that there were times when Jesus would get mad, he even flipped tables in the temples court, (Matthew 21:12) but it was godly anger, not anger based in the flesh. I read this blog post at challies.com that talks about righteous anger. Ephesians says get angry but do not let it cause you to sin. What?! How are we supposed do that? What does that even mean? Righteous anger means you are mad about someone actually sinning not about someone making you angry personally.

I heard a girl on a podcast I listen to say that when someone doesn’t treat us in the way we should be treated that it is an opportunity to come to God and pray for that person. The person doesn’t realize what they are doing or the impact of their words and actions. I will talk more about praying for you enemies in a later post, but I will say it does work. I have to remind myself even when its hard that its important to extend a little grace. Its not up to us to decide when we want to be godly or loving to someone. Its easy to love someone when they are treating you right but the life we are called to isn’t always going to be easy. I will tell you it won’t always be like this. There is something to be said about doing the right thing when everyone and everything is screaming at you to do the opposite. I sleep better knowing I made the right decision.

We all fall short, everyday, but the more you do the right thing when you don’t want too, the easier it will become to continue to do the right thing when the choice comes to you again. What would Jesus do? He would extend grace, he would pray for the person, he would correct them in love. He would turn the other cheek every single time, even if he did not want to. The next time you don’t want to be the bigger person, stop and ask yourself, what would Jesus do. Hopefully, that will change your response. If not, you know you can always ask for forgiveness later.

For more information:

3 Marks of Righteous Anger

Scriptures reference:

Titus 2:12

Ephesians 4:26

Matthew 18:22

Matthew 5:44

 

 

 

Encourage Yourself

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Talk to yourself how you talk to other people

I heard a sermon today where the preacher said watch your self talk. It really struck me. You would never talk to other people how you talk to yourself. We beat ourselves down with self doubt, self pity, and a host of other terrible things to keep us from living our best lives. If a friend came to you and said they had a great idea about something, even it is seemed a little outlandish, you would still encourage them right? I encourage people all the time. I typically am a glass half full person, but not when it comes to my own hopes and dreams. Its very easy to talk myself out of things.

Why don’t we talk to ourselves like that? Why are we are own worst critic? Remember that we are made in Gods image. He knit you together before you were born. Is that a hard concept to understand? Sounds good in practice but hard to do in real life. I used to do that, still do, build other people up but tear myself down with worry, doubt and insecurity. Then I decided to start telling myself all the things I say to other people. I’m the bomb.com, I can do anything I put my mind too, people want to hear what I have to say. I also went back and read who God is. I reminded myself that I was his child, made in His image, He certainly had enough power to help me if I tapped into it. How often do we rely on our own power and not on God’s and then wonder why our plans don’t succeed? Its not because we suck or it was never going to happen, but because we forged ahead without Him. So if you are reading this and want to stop downing yourself remember that you are a child of God and He wants nothing but for you to be happy, successful, content. You don’t have to beat yourself up there are enough people in the world to do that, the media, the president, don’t do it to yourself. Every time a negative thought pops in your head, replace it with a positive one. Put positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror, your screen saver on your phone, your desk at work, anyplace that you will see it. Only play music that builds you up, same thing with the tv shows and movies you watch. Change your thought life, change your real life. Joyce Meyer wrote a book Battlefield of the Mind. It helps deal with negative self talk. Joyce can be a bit wordy but she makes some excellent points. Some of my favorites are “The mind is the leader or forerunner of all actions.” “If our thoughts are going to affect what we become, then it should certainly be a priority that we think right thoughts.

Try to make sure you always build yourself up, you are the only one who truly has to deal with you. The only person you need to impress is yourself. God made you so He already knows how great you are, and nobody else really matters.