Category Archives: Spiritual Growth

Making people uncomfortable

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HaileyPaigeMagee who is basically my IG therapist (LOL) is putting out great content about breaking people pleasing. One thing she said was

In order to break the people-pleasing pattern, we must learn how to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including:

  • The discomfort of others being unhappy with us
  • The discomfort of letting others handle their own problems instead of rushing in to fix them
  • The discomfort of having difficult, honest conversations about our needs and boundaries

The discomfort that comes when we realize that others’ happiness isn’t our responsibility, but our own happiness is.

This was revoluntary for me because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone but realizing that adults could be disappointed and that was ok ,was big for me. That they would still like me, that they wouldn’t stop talking to me was big. I still struggle with this one, but I have gotten much better.

I still struggle with the discomfort of having difficult conversations, I don’t want to make people feel bad.I also don’t want to give negative feedback but sometimes people don’t realize how they are coming across and since they asked we should tell them.

I had to realize what was mine to hold and what I had to let go of.

Its interesting that I was more worried about disappointing other people than I was in disappointing myself.

Hailey says to recognize if you are people pleasing, do your insides match your outsides? Do you feel happy or do you feel anxious and resentful? I would take it a step further and ask how did you feel when it was over, do you feel warm and fuzzy or are you now going over all the things you said in your head. That probably isn’t the place you should be.

Until next time,

Dominique

When you don’t feel like yourself

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There are seasons in life when you just don’t feel like yourself. You can’t quite explain it, but something’s off. Here’s what that looked like for me—five stages I walked through to come out on the other side:

1. Isolation
I pulled away. I stopped talking as much, stopped showing up like I usually do. I was trying to dig myself out of a hole, but I was doing it alone—and it wasn’t working.

2. Reaching Out
Eventually, I told a few people what was happening and asked for prayer. They didn’t just say “I’ll pray for you”—they prayed for me right then and there. Hearing them talk to God on my behalf was healing in itself. Being vulnerable was scary, but it worked. They prayed, they encouraged me, and they helped me see things from a different perspective.

3. Crying Out to God
I started to cry out to God in my own time. I looked back through my notebooks, found highlighted verses, and reminded myself of what I already knew but had forgotten. It didn’t happen overnight, but little by little, I started feeling better.

4. Choosing to Show Up
Even when I didn’t feel like it, I kept tapping into God. I kept praying, kept listening to sermons, kept playing worship music. Sometimes our feelings have to catch up to where we are spiritually. You may never feel like doing the thing—but doing it anyway? That’s often when breakthrough happens.

I started going to events and gatherings, even when I didn’t want to. Being around friends and family helped me get out of my own head. Sometimes we just need to be around other people to remember that we’re not alone.

5. Surrendering to the Process
I recognized something was really wrong. I’d been going through the motions but hadn’t realized how off I was. I asked the Holy Spirit to pray for me because I didn’t have the words. I felt stuck. So I started praying for other people—and that helped a lot. It got my focus off myself. I was tired of hearing myself complain, tired of being in the same spot.

Then I came across this verse:

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.”
— 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

That hit me hard. I realized I was feeling spiritual death, not feeling anything at all. My sorrow had turned me inward, away from God, and that wasn’t helping me heal.

So I started praying:
“God, give me power to push through, discipline to get it done, and compassion for myself.”

Keep Your Mind Stayed on Him
Isaiah 26:3 talks about perfect peace for those whose minds are stayed on God. But how do we keep our thoughts fixed on Him?

For me, that meant consistency: listening to gospel music, pausing to pray, tuning into sermons—anything that lifted me up. I realized I needed more than just mindless activities. Scrolling isn’t bad, but it’s junk food. It gives a quick hit of relief, but it can’t sustain you or help you grow.

Try This:
Is there something you need to ask for prayer about?
Write down 1–2 people you trust and reach out to them this week. Ask them to pray with you—right then and there.

You’re not alone. And even if you don’t feel like yourself right now, healing is happening. One step at a time. One day at a time.

If you’re in a season where you don’t feel like yourself, know this: you’re not broken, you’re becoming. God is still with you, even in the fog. Healing doesn’t always come with fireworks; sometimes it shows up in small steps, quiet moments, and brave decisions to keep going when you don’t feel like it.

Don’t be afraid to reach out. Don’t hesitate to pray, even if all you can say is “help.” Keep showing up. Keep listening for His voice. Keep doing the things that feed your soul, not just distract your mind.

You will feel like yourself again. Maybe not all at once, but day by day, God will restore your joy, your strength, and your sense of purpose.

You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. You’re growing. Keep going.

The Power of Should

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Things that destroy your self acceptance don’t come into your life fully grown.-Steven Furtnick (book title) p.84

They sneak up on you out of nowhere. Its little seeds of doubt that we water every time we worry instead of prayer. Every time we don’t show up for ourselves and let ourselves down, by doing the thing we say we won’t or by not doing the thing that we said we would. You start to despise parts of you because you fall short of what you should be.

Should is a tricky word isn’t it? Webster defines should as what is probable. I read this really interesting article on postivepresent.com that talks about how negative the word should is. She says three things about should that really made me think.

Should takes away from your accomplishments. You have done great things in your life, even if you don’t think so, even if they are small things but should can make you feel like the things you done don’t matter. If you buy your first house at 35 you take some of the wind out of your own sales if you say , oh should have already owned a house. If you have a baby at 35, oh I should have two kids by now, its downing the fact you have at least one. Should takes away from the hard work you have put in to get you where you are right now.

Should takes you out of the present. The bible speaks often about about not worrying about the future. Matt 6. 25-34. It also tells us not to focus on things of the past. Isaiah 43:18

We talked before about blooming where you are planted. Not worrying about what is ahead. We didn’t talk as much about worrying about the past. I am not a person who lives with a lot of regret. There are somethings I wish I would have done differently or situations that I wish I would have handled better but I don’t regret them, I am a firm believer that things happen the way they are supposed to, whether that is good or bad. My should’s are  definitely more future based but I know plenty of people whose shoulds are in the past. I should have said this during that argument, I should have drank less at that party, I should have moved away from home when I had the chance. Neither throught process helps us be the best version of ourselves. We can’t move into the person we are meant to be if we continue to focus on what things should be.

Should sparks negative emotions. All should does is make us feel bad about ourselves when we may not need to. Where you are currently could be perfectly fine and appropriate for this moment in time. Should can make you feel guilty, or put a heavy burden of expectation that you don’t need.

Where are your shoulds coming from? Are they coming from who God expects you to be? Or are they coming from what your parents said? Are they coming from trying to keep up with what society says you “should” be doing? Are you comparing yourself to your friends, family, that rando you went to high school or college with? What does God say you should be doing? What are His expectations? Have you asked him lately?

Instead of letting should shape your self-worth, shift your focus to what is, who you are today, what God is doing in your life right now, and the grace He gives you to grow.

Maybe it’s time to trade your shoulds for shalls.

You shall be who God created you to be.
You shall walk in purpose, not pressure.
You shall live free of comparison.

Ask Him. Trust Him. Let that be enough.

The Battle is the Lords

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The battle is Yours, Lord. It is Your battle. I lean on You. I give You all my weapons, all my skills, and I stand before You, trusting You.” – Chuck Swindoll

One of my anchor prayers used to be: “Lord, give me the right words to say.” Whether I was headed into a meeting at work, navigating a tough conversation with friends or family, or dealing with conflict, that was my go-to. At the time, it felt like a good and godly prayer.

But then God revealed something deeper: I was still relying on me. Communication is one of my strengths, and without realizing it, I was asking God to strengthen me in my way instead of surrendering to His way. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I hadn’t actually laid it down.

Now, my prayer has shifted: Less of me, more of You. Inspired by the gospel song by Earnest Pugh, I Need Your Glory, and rooted in John 3:30 — “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

When I rely on my own strength, I bring all my stuff with me , insecurities, resentment, pride, trauma. But when I give God my strength, He doesn’t just refine it , He replaces it. And in that space, there’s room for His wisdom, His power, His glory.

It’s a subtle shift, but it changes everything.

“All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
— 1 Samuel 17:47 NIV

Words are my weapon , my strength and sometimes my crutch. I’ve been known to speak without thinking or to say the right thing with the wrong tone. But God is teaching me that my sword isn’t what brings victory.

“I put no trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame.”
— Psalm 44:6–7 NIV

So now, I lay down my bow. I surrender my sword. I choose to fight differently ,not with sharp words, cleverness, or control but, with faith, surrender, and trust in the One who never loses a battle.

Because when the battle is His, the victory is already won.

The Power of Setting Boundaries with Yourself

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We talked before during self care about keeping your word to yourself. I want to expand on that a little bit. Do you set boundaries with yourself? Do you know what boundaries with yourself are?

Boundaries with oneself are the personal rules and guidelines we set to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves. These boundaries help us manage our time, energy, and emotions, ensuring we stay aligned with our values and goals. They are essential for self-care, self-discipline, and personal growth.

It’s easier to let yourself down more than anybody else. If we keep pushing back our goal then we really haven’t let ourselves down right? We will eventually get to it. Right? Wrong!

Keeping your word to yourself helps build trust and confidence. I made a writing schedule that I stuck with for a few months now. I didn’t make any excuses I just did it. It felt good too. I am proud of me. I did that by:

Taking things one day at a time 

As always, I’m praying to keep this same energy and not start slacking, but I just need to take this one day at a time. If I miss one day, you miss too, but even if I do a little every day, it’s better than nothing.

Being willing to switch things up

I used to get up at 530 to write but I can’t necessarily do that now and it’s ok. As long as I get it done that is what counts. I was trying to force myself to do something that no longer fit my schedule or lifestyle and was making it feel like work. Anything that feels like unpaid work I’m not going to want to do it. 

This is like point 2b

  • I have to work on not be too rigid and going with the flow. I can have a schedule and an outline but if I get too much structure I start overthinking and it stifles my creativity. 

Setting realistic expectations for yourself

  • It’s crucial to set goals that are achievable within the constraints of your life. By setting realistic expectations, you set yourself up for success rather than disappointment. Adjusting your goals to fit your current circumstances shows self-awareness and adaptability.

Practicing self-compassion

  • Remember to be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. It’s okay to stumble along the way; what matters is how you pick yourself back up. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer a friend facing a similar situation.

Celebrating small victories

  • Acknowledge and celebrate the progress you make, no matter how small. Each step forward, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is a testament to your commitment and dedication to personal growth. By celebrating your achievements, you reinforce positive behavior and motivation to continue moving forward.

Reflecting on your journey

Take time to reflect on your journey, recognizing the challenges you’ve overcome and the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Self-reflection allows you to gain insight into your habits, strengths, and areas for improvement, empowering you to make informed decisions moving forward.

By implementing these strategies, you can establish healthy boundaries with yourself, cultivate self-discipline, and ultimately achieve your goals with confidence and resilience. Remember, the journey towards self-improvement is ongoing, and each day presents an opportunity for growth and transformation.

Until next time,

Dominique

Death to Distractions

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Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

At the beginning of 2025, I listened to an 8-part sermon series by Pastor Mike Todd at Transformation Church that completely shifted my mindset. The message was clear: if you let go of distractions and stay focused on God, the things you want in life will start to align. That thought challenged me, inspired me—and honestly, convicted me.

I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish this year. Finishing my book was at the top, but there were other personal goals I had too. I was tired of talking about what I was going to do “one day.” I wanted this to be the year of action. But truthfully, I had things hindering me. I was tangled up—not in scandalous sin—but in what I like to call the almosts and not quites. You know, the moments where you’re close to obedience but not fully surrendered. The kind of sin that looks good on the outside but misses the mark on the inside.

So I made a choice.

I decided to truly fix my eyes on Jesus. That meant cutting out secular music, putting down the fiction books I love to read, and stepping away from social media. I didn’t make these changes to be religious or prove a point—I did it because I needed clarity. I needed to hear from God.

And I did. Loudly. Clearly. Consistently.

It felt like being hit with a firehose of revelation. I couldn’t keep up with what God was pouring in. And then… the attacks came. Spiritual warfare hit hard and heavy. It didn’t make sense at first. But then I realized: you don’t get attacked like that unless you’re close to something.

That’s when I knew. I was on the edge of breakthrough.

But I didn’t run back to comfort, like I normally would. I pressed in. I kept running the race, even when it felt lonely, even when I didn’t see the results right away. I started becoming more than just someone with goals, I became someone who was being transformed.

I’m still in that process. I’m still running. But now I understand the power of focus. The strength that comes from letting go of distractions. The joy that’s on the other side of obedience. I know that sounds corny but hear me out. God wants to help make decisions for so that we can be less stressed because we are trying to figure everything out.

So if you’re reading this and you’ve been feeling stuck, off-track, or overwhelmed, maybe it’s time to throw off a few things. Clear out the noise. Get quiet enough to hear from the One who already mapped out your race.

Fix your eyes on Jesus.
That’s where the freedom is.
That’s where the power is.
That’s where your next chapter begins.

Until next time,

Dominique

Do you approach life from lack or from abundance?

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Do you focus on all the things you have or are you looking at life through the lens of what you don’t have?

I’ve been diving deep into the concept of abundance lately, and it’s truly eye-opening. The word “abundance” is often associated with plenty, an overflowing supply. While that can include material wealth, the biblical perspective of abundance stretches far beyond that—it speaks to both physical and spiritual prosperity.

In the Bible, abundance is not merely about having a lot of things. It represents God’s holistic provision, covering everything from our needs in this life to the gift of eternal life. Abundance emphasizes God’s sufficiency. It calls us to rely on His grace, knowing that He has provided more than enough for us.

The key takeaway here is that God fills in our lack. We don’t have to focus on our shortcomings, our struggles, or what feels impossible. Instead, we can shift our focus to all that God has given us. His grace is sufficient, meaning He has equipped us with everything we need to accomplish His will.

But how do we embrace this abundance in our daily lives? How do we start each day knowing that we’re walking in God’s provision?

Here are four steps to living with a mindset of abundance:

  1. Seek God’s Priorities – Start your day by asking, “What matters most to You, God?” Align your heart with His purpose.
  2. Stay in God’s Presence – Let prayer, worship, and the Word be a daily rhythm. His presence is where true abundance flows.
  3. Stay Proactive – Take the next step with purpose. Even if it’s small, move forward in faith.
  4. Patience in the Process – Trust that God’s timing is a key part of His abundance. Be patient with the journey.

Remember, you don’t have to chase abundance. When God is your source, abundance is already yours to live from.

Until next time,

Dominique

Living in Abundance

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We all want to live in abundance…but do we want to do what it takes for that to actually happen?

I love the Message version of the Fruit of the Spirit. While there’s nothing wrong with the version we usually hear: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, it can sometimes feel a bit abstract. The Message version brings it down to earth in a way that feels real and relevant:

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”
Galatians 5:22–23 (MSG)

That first line is the foundation for the changes I’m trying to make: What happens when you live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, gifts that lead to a full life, true abundance, and peace even in the presence of our enemies. (John 10:10 and Psalm 23.)

You can learn all the things, your identity, your purpose, how to release guilt and shame. You can even go to therapy. But if you’re not walking with God daily and building on what you’ve learned, you’ll still be operating at half your power.

I know this because I’ve been there. I tried to do both, God’s way and my own way. I thought I could straddle the line between the world and God, but I couldn’t. No matter how much Bible reading I did, I was still relying on myself to get things done. I wasn’t producing the fruit I needed. I was doing things my way, then asking God to bless it afterward.

But the closer I get to 40, I’m learning to seek God first, then decide my next steps. I learned to lean on His strength, not my own understanding.

I realized that when I stopped trying to “do me” and instead asked, “What’s God’s best for me?” life got easier. It became less overwhelming. I started asking myself simple but powerful questions:
What fruit will this action produce? Does it align with God’s values?

So now what?

It’s not enough to just know the truth. We have to walk in it. If you’re tired of living at half your power, of doing things your way and hoping God will co-sign it later… it’s time to shift.

Start asking yourself daily:
What kind of fruit am I producing?
Am I building a life God can bless?

You don’t have to figure it out alone. This space is for people who want to grow… spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
If that’s you, keep showing up. Bring your questions. Be honest with yourself. And let’s walk this thing out together.

Until next time,

Dominique

Stress and Worry

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Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This verse is about your thought life. What dominates your thoughts , what controls your mind. I also read this verse and thought sinful things Paul most be talking about bad stuff, you know the 10 commandment type stuff. However reading it again I don’t think that’s true. The definition of sin means to miss the mark. That sounds ambiguous but if Jesus is our mark anything we do that takes us away from that target is sin.

I’m talking about the sins of worry and stress. If you are constantly worried and stressed you are not pleasing God. God tells us over and over give our worries to him.

I’ve let my sinful nature take over before. Constantly worried about a project at work. When I do that I take my eyes off God and put them on my problem. It was all I would talk about, think about. I read my Bible but I wasn’t focused. My stomach hurt, I was mean and cranky. I might not have been physically dying but I was spiritually dying. I didn’t have much of a life because I was focused on this one thing.

Once I decided to take my eyes off my problem and back on God I was given some help and found a solution. I let the spirit lead me instead of my stress and I did feel peace but it was roller coaster trying to get there. Choose prayer first.

Make a list of what you’re worried about this week big or small and ask God to help you with these problems. Also talk to a trusted friend or prayer partner. They may be able to help you with your problem. Holding it in, is not helping you.

Until next time,

Dominique

New mercies

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”Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

There’s are a few different versions of this verse but I like this one because it says we are not consumed because his compassion’s never fail.

Consume in the Hebrew means devour. What is devouring you right now? Is it work? Is it home? Family? Friendships? Anxiety? Stress?

Because God is compassionate nothing can overtake us or devour us. One bad day doesn’t make a bad week. One bad conversation doesn’t make for a bad relationship. Because of his new mercies we can begin each new day with fresh perspective. I know it can be hard to get over a hurt and keep replaying it in your mind but you don’t have to.
Each day is a new opportunity to begin again.
God is not walking around holding on to that hurt, anger, sadness and we don’t have to either.

I’m not saying if someone hurt you it’s instant relief but remembering that you can start the next interaction fresh may be helpful to you.

New mercies count for everything not just for days but bad conversations, hurt feelings, bad choices, regrets, etc

Before you decide to hold on to bad feelings, bad decisions, regret, guilt, grudges, etc remember that Gods

mercies are new every morning.

Are you holding on to something and you need to let go?

Prayer: Father help us not hold on to things we don’t need to. You say give you our burdens and you will give us rest. Thank you that we don’t have to hold on to anything but you. Thank you we are not devoured or consumed and that we have the ability to start fresh.