6. Pay attention. We talk about growth a lot on this blog. I can recall times in my life, especially now where I have been so focused on my own growth that I didn’t notice my husbands growth. He was silently leveling up while I was caught up in work, our son, running our household, church activities, etc.

7. Pray for your spouse. I make it a point to ask my husband what he wants to me to pray for him. That helps. However sometimes he doesn’t know. That’s when I try to make sure to ask about his day, his job, his hobbies. I also try to pray general prayers over him. I pray for God to increase his territory. One of my favorites is the Prayer of Jabez.

8. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. This one seems obvious but its not. Do you get mad and leave the room during an argument? Do you say your fine when you’re not? Are you ready to defend your way of thinking? Do you actively listen?

9. Educate yourself

I read books, listen to podcasts and sermons about marriage. We went to a Sunday school class for couples. Premarital classes. I know a couple that goes to couples counseling just so they can stay in tune with each other. They don’t have any “problems”. They go as a preventive measure.

The books I have read have been super helpful to me. One of the best ones I have read and I read over and over again is the Power of a Praying Wife.

10. This one is controversial a bit but I like it. My pastor says why when we are praying for our spouses to change we really should be praying for ourselves. Praying for more patience, more understanding, more love. Have you looked at the ways YOU could be better or are you blaming it all on them? At the end of the day we are only responsible for ourselves. Praying for your spouse to change may not be the answer. You may have to change first and let your spouse see the power of God working in you.

P.S. God doesn’t want you to stay married in situations of abuse. You know your deal breakers. If your marriage is one you believe you should save you should but you also know when it’s over and that is ok too.

Good luck,

Dominique