With balance
I feel the most clarity when I’m fasting. Limited social media, tv, books,.etc. When I am not allowing anything to get between me and God, I feel free. Light. Like I am communing with God on a level that is unparalleled. I see and hear him everywhere. It is amazing.  I can’t do that all the time though. I think that is where the binging comes in. The word says there is no balance. If you love the world, then you are an enemy of God. James 4:4, 1 John 2:15. Period. That’s pretty cut and dry. Revelation 3:16 says don’t be lukewarm, pick a side. Jesus says leave everything behind on follow him. Luke 14:25-27 When I hear that I feel doomed like I am never going to be able to get this right and please God. I have come to the place where I’m asking God more what can I do to please him vs what can he give me. In doing that through I have put a lot of pressure on myself. I have to constantly remind myself that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. He isn’t expecting me to not mess up, he wants me to lean on him. I’m getting better. I just have to remember to take it one day at a time.
Some days I’m all in with God, others I’m doing the bare minimum.

As I told you last week, I’m trying to not to cuss, read/watch smut or gossip. Reading smut I have been able to cut out. It wasn’t that difficult when I put my mind to it. It was very easy for me to control the content I am taking in that way. However, watching smut is a totally different thing. Smut is every where! I will write another post about this to further explain what I mean. Just know the struggle is real!
Some days that I am doing great, other days I’m knee deep in a Netflix hole or lost 2 hours in Instagram.

What do I do?
-Ask the Lord for help
– find my triggers
Routine, bored, social media, tried of feeling guilty about messing up. Condemnation from myself mostly
Bad day at work, fight with my husband
Laziness, miss church once, easier to miss, miss devotional once, easier to miss
Finish a lesson don’t know what to do next

I am not the only person that has been in this position however. Paul asked why do I do the things I don’t want to? Romans 7:15-24. Paul is really going through! He says, What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?  I have been there Paul. What do we do? He says thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord. God can handle our sin. He appreciates are good motives. I have to remind myself that he sees my efforts and he will help me if I ask him.

What are you trying to work on? We are getting close to the end of the year. Don’t go into 2018 with the same bad habits from 2017.

Prayer:
Lord help me seek you wholeheartedly. Help me not be distracted by things of this world. Help me realize that you are enough. That I don’t have to be a slave to sin and that I have been made a new creation in your son Jesus Christ. Help me want you more and the world less. Thank you in advance for my spiritual growth. In Jesus name, Amen.